It's summertime in Carolina. The pools are warm, the tea is sweet, and I have a great feeling about this summer. I mean, what could go wrong? I've got him wrapped around my finger, and he is not letting go just yet. Ethan and I have been dating for about 8 months now, and he hell hard. Me, on the other hand. I care about the boy, I just haven't gotten the love part established yet.I don't know how to handle this, I've never really been in a relationship. I thought he and I would last for a couple of days and he'd move on. Now I have to put this cold heart on the counter to thaw out. I've got to be empathetic too, how do I do that?
I've been thinking a lot about my career. I want to be a Broadway actress, that won't come true if I stay in this small town. I've got to get out and learn things that I need to know! I need to get discovered, maybe if I move in with my dad. Winston Salem, North Carolina is one step closer to New York I guess.That's what I'm going to do, I am going to move to Winston. I know how it's going to turn out, he's going to be crying himself to sleep, while I am totally over him.
Ethan came to my house, like always, and I told him, he's not happy about it, but he stands behind my dreams 100 percent. He won't go into my room to see all the boxes crammed against the walls. He looks hurt, he told me that he really does love me. The summer is coming to an end, and the move is getting closer and closer.I think I am actually going to miss Ethan, I really got to know him this summer and I see how beautiful he really is. That won't make me change my plans, because this has to be done.The fact that I had to leave him was getting harder and harder to bear as my emotions grew for him.
One night after Ethan left my house I called him, I told him that I think we might need to break up, so we could move on and meet new people while I am away. Ethan said he was thinking the same thing, but he told me that he would always love me abd care for me and that he wouldn't date another girl any time soon.
The next day I saw him at church, we sat together and reality set in. He held my hand and I started to cry, he wrapped his arms around me and told me everything is going to be okay, and I believed him. For several days we kept contact and remained friends. The night before school started I wanted to talk to Ethan to tell him that school started tomorrow. So, I called him, when he picked up he sounded sad. I assumed because he missed me. I asked him what he was doing, he said "talking to someone." I asked "Who?" he replied "Tamra." Then my heart sunk, I knew that whoever this girl is, she is a threat to me. I asked in a calm manner "Who's that?" and he said "I can't say" jokingly I replied "Is it your girlfriend?" Then he said "not yet, but she will be" My heart started pounding, I broke out into a cold sweat. I couldn't see anything I felt horrible. I officially lost him, and I didn't know what to do. So, I did something bad.
My parents blocked me form all contact with Ethan, he thought I would be better off without him too. Our friendship was gone I didn't have anyone. I sometimes questioned if he even meant it all of his caring words in the first place. Ethan was my best friend, he understood me better than anyone, but now he is gone, and I am left a wreck.
I refuse to let go of him, and move on. I will not give up on him I did too much for him just to throw it all away, but he doesn't care about me anymore. He's rude to me when we talk. He is not the same person, he's cold and bitter, like me. I think we switched positions, I am the one who is madly inlove, but I was just alittle too late.