My name is David Hendricks. I was seventeen when I fell in love. That was also the year I lost her. Sometimes I still wonder how god could take away such a wonderful girl. But then again she is an angel, and angels go to heaven. She was beautiful and smart. And she changed my life forever.
I was in a foster home and had just moved to New York City. My first impression of the place was that it was loud, busy, and full of angry people. The foster home I was in was full of bratty little elementry kids. I was the only teen. My new mother, Janie was wonderful. But she was busy with the little ones most of the time and couldnt give me as much attention.
My first day of school was miserable. The second was even worse. Two months went by and I hated everything and everyone. I was so angry I resorted to cutting. It was there in the park after school that I met her. She was swinging silently on the swingset looking at the sky. She looked about my age. But her body size said otherwise. I ignored as I sat on the slide slicing away at my arms.
What are you doing? Her sweet musical voice filled my ears.
Nothing, Go away kid, I snapped regretting it two seconds later. She narrowed her eyes and sat down next to me. Her long, Polka dotted dress blowing with the wind.
I am fourteen thank you very much, She said pulling at my hair.
Stop! I snapped again. Once again regretting it.
Why are you doing that? She asked staring at my blood lit cuts.
Because I'm angry, I said a little calmer now. She stood up in front of me. Her long honeynut brown hair pulled back into a ponytail. The laces of her red ribbon flowed all over the place. Her sandals crunched in the gravel of the playgrounds floor.
You know what I do when I'm angry? She questioned me. I sighed and shrugged.
Sing! She yelled throwing her arms in the air for dramatic affects.
Come on! She exclaimed grabbing my hand and pulling me up from the slide. I never saw my knife again for she pulled me out of the park and down the main streets.
Where ae we going? I asked as we slowed to a walk.
Just for a walk, She said beginning to sing. Her sweet voice sang perfectly to twinkle twinkle little star. I laughed as she sang but that just made her getting louder and smile more.
When she was done she spun me around until I couldnt see straight. When we finally stopped we fell to the sidewalk and laughed hysterically as people walking around us stared as they passed. Another thing I hated about New York. You cant have any privacy.
Who in the world are you? I asked through laughs.
Darcy Lee, she giggled. That was not what I meant but I didnt bother to correct it at the moment.
Well I'm David, I said not sure if she heard me.
When we finally got up we walked hand and hand through the streets of the city. We visied the statue of Liberty and watched the scenery for hours. By the time it was past sunset we had lost the time and just enjoyed the view in silence. When Darcy realized it was time for her to go home.
Will you walk me home Davie? She asked smiling. I liked the nickname she gave me. And without thinking of what I was doing, I took her hand and walked her to her home.
She lived in a house in a calm neighborehood down the street from my house. I couldnt figure out why I never saw her but didnt bother to find out. I knew her now. That was all that mattered. She turned to face me when we were on her door step.
Meet me at the swings tomorrow after school, She requested. Then she pecked me on the cheek and continued inside.
I felt my cheek where she had kissed me. And I knew right then and there, that I had been kissed by an angel. An angel full of life, energy, and kindness. When I finally got home I was brought back to reality from my precious heaven of peace.
I listened as the kids yelled and screamed. Ran around the house like maniacs and Janie chasing them down and threatening them with time outs. I lay on my bed staring at he ceiling. I didnt understand it but I kept thinking of Darcy. I replayed her laugh in my mind over and over again. Her soft musical voice playing me to sleep.
That night I dreamt of Darcy. I dreamed that I chased her to a meadow and we danced with the animals dressed in halloween costumes. I was a vampire and she was a beautiful fairy dancing around and sharing her magic with the world. I smiled when I awoke. That dream seemed like something Darcy would do in real life.
The whole day at school I watched the clock and counted down the minutes til I was to leave and meet Darcy at the playground. The final bell rang as I rushed through the crowds of people heading to the playground. Once there, Darcy was sitting on the swing slowly rocking back and forth.
Darcy? I asked looking at her. She was silent. She seemed sad. It was hard to imagine such a energetic girl such as herself sad.
She turned to me still with no words. She stared into my eyes and I stared into hers. Her sweet blue eyes had me in a trance. I didnt dare move when she snaked her little hand and fingers around my neck and pulled me in to kiss her. I kissed her softly and gently. She was the kind of girl that was a soft and passionate kisser. I didnt dare get any rougher. I saw her as a delicate rose that needed to be taken care of. And take care of her I did.
From that day on I met Darcy at the playground after school everyday of the week. We would go out and do all sorts of things. We would dance up and down the sidewalks full of walking people. We would try on the strangest of clothes in stores. We would go to central park and blow up balloons and set them free. But with each one that was let go, We had to say atleast one reason why the balloon should fly. Then we let them go.
Being with Darcy was amazing. She was so different but so full of life. She had some of the craziest ideas and the biggest imagination. She was the sweetest girl I had ever met. She taught me to me gentle and to learn to love. And learn to love I did. I was now officially in love with Darcy Lee, and couldnt help myself. She was an angel. She was an angel I was terrified of.
After a month of being together, Darcy finally took me to meet her parents. Her parents were just like her. Her mother was an artist and her father was a writer. They were both full of life and crazy. Just like Darcy. After dinner at her house we played a game that they called "Confess a Mess". It was a simple game. You were to first admit something that you had done that was wrong, and then choose an idea on how to make the problem funny. It was a fun game and I was enjoying it.
Your turn Darcy, her father glowed. She thought for a moment before speaking.
I forgot to turn my homework and lied to my teacher, She said smiling. Her problems and mistakes were so minor compared to mine. Hers were funny already in my opinion. But I stay silent. I loved to hear her speak. Her voice so alluring and magical.
But it was a short story about weasels and birds, She laughed. Her parents and I all joined into her laughter. But of course hers drowned us out. Her beautiful voice helping ours sound ok. But trully it her was her voice that changed things.
Your turn Davie, She smiled pulling my by my hand to the center of the room.
Oh ok....I pondered what to say. But before I could think I spoke out some words.
I wanted to kill myself because living in New York was hell on earth, I said. Everyone fell silent and looked away from me. Even Darcy.
I took a deep breath before finishing. That was until I met a beautiful angel, I said loud and proud.
Darcy sat up smiling her bright smile to me. She skipped over to me and hugged me close. My last turn ended the game and I walked myself home leaving Darcy to her family. Half way down the street to my house I heard someone running up behind me. It was Darcy.
Hi sweetheart, I smiled looking at her cuteness. She was silent and still. Her energy was at a hault.
Am I missing something? I asked.
Why did you say that? She asked staring at he ground.
It slipped out, I'm sorry, I said. My apology sincere.
Do you still have moments when you feel like shit? she said. My eyes grew wide. I had never heard Darcy curse in her life. I was shocked and confused by what she had said. But held my tongue.
Darcy what do you want----I began but she cut me off.
Tell me the truth! she screamed. Do you still feel like shit? she repeated.
I sighed. Yes, I answered fearfully.
Oh my gosh, She began. Why cant you ever talk to me when you feel like that? She asked staring me down. I didnt have the balls to stare back. Instead I looked at the sidewalk.
I dont tell you when I feel like this because I dont wanna bring you down, I answered partly true.
I dont want you to care about that! I just cant believe that when you get upset you cant trust me enough to come to me! She snapped stomping her foot.
Darcy stop acting like a little girl, I said without thinking.
So now I'm a little girl? She growled turning to walk away. I grabbed her arm and spun her back around.
Darcy you know thats not what I meant, Please dont be mad? I begged.
I'm not!!! she yelled. I just want to go home and think, She growled louder. I let her go and began walking away to my apartment. Hot tears were burning in my eyes and began to pour down my cheeks as I threw myself into my room and cried myself into a deep sleep.
I slept through school the next day but still went to the playground to meet Darcy. As I walk up to the swings, I realize that Darcy isnt there.I found that odd considering she always beat me to the swings. She always had to have the one in the middle because it was the highest.
Darcy? I called searching around for her. Darcy?! I continuiously called.
When no response came I ran as fast as I could to her house. I banged on the door frantically. I pounded and pounded until someone came to the door. Darcy's father Henry answered. I caught my breaht before speaking. I stared as her father blinked his purple eyes. He looked as if he had been up all night.
Can I talk to Darcy? I asked. I was scared she wouldnt talk to me because she was still angry with me.
Her father motioned for me to follow him into the house and I did. I sat down on the sofa across from her mother. I watched them with impatience. I wanted know where Darcy was and I wanted to know now.
What's going on? I finally said breaking the awkward silence.
Darcy is....Um......gone son, Her father said the words slow in a stutter.
What do you mean? I asked not understanding.
She died, her mother sobbed out into words.
I gasped. Thats not true! I exclaimed. I just saw her last night! I argued.
Darcy didnt tell you? her father asked me.
Tell me what? I said tears beginning to grow in my eyes.
She has been very sick lately. Throwing up, having trouble breathing at night, dizziness, and some other symptoms. The doctors didnt find out what it was that was wrong with her, her mother sobbed. She was supposed to go for another check up today, she cried tears flowing down her face as she buried her face into her hands.
But she was always so alive! I argued more.
We know its hard son, Her father interjected.
No! I yelled standing up. No! I shouted as I ran out the door and threw myself onto the streets.
I ran recklessy everywhere as people yelled at me and cars honked. I ran forever. My legs grew weak but I pushed them harder and harder so to keep going. Tears began burning down my cheeks and off the tip of my nose. I fell to the ground when I finally came to the statue of Liberty. It was quiet here. There was no one around. I cried my heart out until I couldnt breath. In which then I had to suck in air quickly and heavily in order to breath.
I finally stopped my tears and stared into the horizon. The sun was setting and the wind was blowing just right. Darcy would have wanted to see this, I thought sorrowly. But then again, She probably is seeing it, I chuckled lightly to myself as three more tears came down my cheeks.
I thought in sorrow how much I missed Darcy and how much I wanted her here. But I started to think about what she taught me. She taught me to kind. To trust. To have fun and be completely random. But most importantly she taught me love. And right now she was teaching me that love hurts. It hurts like hell and I hate it, I thought sourly. But I didnt believe she went to heaven. I dont know where she went. But she went somewhere where she can wild and random at any time of day.
I bet she is dancing with purple monkeys and teaching them how to send balloons away, I laughed at that thought. My lips turned down and I realized the most terrible thing ever. As much as I love Darcy, I never once told her I loved her. I wanted to beat myself up for letting the words and time slip away. I knew Darcy for only a month and she changed my whole world. I knew I would take the happiness Darcy taught me and use it to make myself and others happy. I even decided that I would sell balloons at central park. Yes. I would do it for her.
I looked at the sunset and the water beneath it. I closed my eyes as the wind blew through my thick curls and ruffled my clothes. I felt the warmth of the evening and began to hear crickets going. I smiled and opened my eyes to say one special, life changing sentence.
I love you Darcy Lee.....I whispered. Then began humming the words to twinkle twinkle little star.