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This Bitter Wind

Short story By: Death Holy

The first time I broke up with my girlfriend this is how I felt. Finally after almost a year I have been able to express this.

Submitted:Oct 7, 2009    Reads: 130    Comments: 4    Likes: 1   

It's cold outside as the wind blew sleet into my face while I was making my way to school. A bitter cold that freezes the soul, redening the cheeks as your ears are about to fall from your face. This devastation of the skin due to cold weather was no comparison to this other. You come to find i'm only burdened with the heaviest of things, and i'm not talking about my backpack. Well...yeah it's heavy but there are other things on me that weigh down much more. Like the feeling of losing something you once had. How you used to caress it every day, keeping it from freezing in the dark cold night. Not it...But simply her. I stood there in the winter winds remembering how we used to be with eachother, like two inseperable links in a chain. Unbreakable in every single aspect, holding tighter than any other could.

All the days we used to cuddle in the Summer moonlight, kissing underneath the stars. Wishing upon all those glorious lights that we would never be separated, never away. How we would cuddle after making our wish as she would burry her head into my chest. Not once in my life had a felt that warm. Only with her did I feel that everlastingheat that was so glorious to my soul, and caressed my heart. How she would would say, "I love you" Then close her eyes burrowing deeper into my chest, falling asleep in my arms. At that moment I felt more loved than ever previously in my life. That spark was without a doubt the best thing ever in my life.

That was all over though. She left one day, so I still stand here waiting for the returning of my love. Doubtful it's ever going to happen, I still wait every day even while the cold wind burns me. The pain without her is much moreagonizing than any other in the world. Rachael...Yes. Now that I look back I finally remember her name, only letting it bringinto meall of the memories that plague my body eternally. Tears would be falling down my face if it weren't for the everlasting drying cold. Still walking further down the lonely street, I came to remember how Rachael looked. With those beautiful saphire eyes that looked into the soul, and sacred lips that my mind drove me to. Like a poison that filled the soul, making me crave everything that is Rachael. Like a drug, and it's addiction.

Dragging through every moment of my life, while looking down at the frozen icy ground. What I would have given to see her one last time...Before I decided to perish. Without fail, I imagined Rachael in front of my eyes. Looking at her like a beautiful princes, with all the beauty that made her. The soft skin, sleek hair, and gorgeous eyes that I craved so much. Almost believing she was there, moving forwards to wrap cold dry snow burn't hands around her. To hold her one last time, but finding myself hugging nothing but the air. Despair was a striking feeling in the heart, especially as I fell to the ground with tears in my eyes.Without a care, I simply let them fall on the ice. The tears froze instantly without waiting for the next one to fall. Crumpling out of the sorrowful mind, with pain and misery embedding itself in my soul.

It felt like an eternity, laying on the ground with no other thoughts than her beautiful face. How I could have lost Rachael, I did not know. But no longer would I have to live with all the pain that came with it. She would soon be nothing in my mind like all the things that escape us in death. Without warning my senses spark up in a flurious spark. Something in the distance perks my ears into a mass confusion. Something I had not heard in so long, that I had almost forgotten the sound. Giggling! Hearing the giggling in the distance reminded my heart of Rachael so much. Yet again my heart sank into despair. No...It couldn't be Rachael. She was gone. Again I head the disturbance of giggling, growing louder. Coming towards me like the wind does on this winter day. Like that striking wind, I found a hand hanging down by my side. What I saw could not be believed. Rachael was there in front of me with an arm extended down to lift me up. Taking in a breath of air,believing that this could only be another figment of my imagination...Until. "Please get up sweetheart...Get up", Rachael said. Like Rachael...Pleading me to stand up. The same tone that I had remembered all of those nights. I couldn't believe what I had heard as my heart began to palpitate in excitement. It was like waking up from a bad dream that never seemed to end.

Rachael's arms was extended down to my side, offering me her soft hand. Without any hesitation I quickly grabbed it, feeling the soft warmth of her skin. Standing erect looking into the eyes of my lover, tears still falling down my face. It was like a still moment in time, one where nothing happens and time stops indeffinitely. I was incappable of remembering the last time I had an experience like this. Now I knew, my dream came true. Before I could find myself reacting Rachael wrapped her arms around me, caressing my skin. It was inevitable, tears falling from my weather beaten face. Looking into those sweet eyes as the warmth from her beautiful body flowed into mine. Charging me like a wasted car battery after a long trip. "Why did you leave?", I asked Rachael. No reply. I couldn't understand yet why she was here but there had to be a reason for it. Reaching out for Rachael I hoped to touch my lips with hers for the first time, it seemed. Then...Without any warning whatsoever she ran off into the mist of the winter morning, giggling like always. "Rachael...Where are you going?" , I said. Watching Rachael run away from me, playing those games I love. But, sadness crept in yet again.

I was all alone again with no one beside me, while the wind whistled by my ear. It was getting colder, I could feel it moving through my bones."What should I do", I thought to myself. It seemed like a never ending moment in time while I stood in the middle of the road. Making a decision in my mind, I deciding to go after this beautiful creature I called my eternal. Without any practical thought If ollowed Rachael into the thick deep mist that covered the whole street. Like having a sheet in front of your face, only capable of seeing a few feet in front of your face. The only way I could navigate this terrible weather was by the sound of her giggling, off in the distance. "Rachael, please let me catch up with you", I said. I waited a few moments, before an audible reply. "Hurry up silly", Rachael said. That was so typical for Rachael, she always loved to play games like this. But...This was different. It was like a dream again, in this absolute unconciousness. While chasing after Rachael, not once did I notice the growing weather around me. The blizzard hailed down covering my body in a shadow of snow and sleet. The cold was everlastingly bitter, but thoughts of Rachael kept me going, she was still running. "Rachael, please stop your going to freeze in this weather", I said. As if my words were meaningless she continued to run away from. The storm was getting worse.

In my mind I knew this could go on forever especially with Rachaels personality, so with one last dash of energy my legs began to spurt forwards at great speeds. Being so weighted down I could do nothing less than drop my backpack on the cold hard packed snow. All accumulated by the great blizzard whirling around my whole body. Barely able to run much less walk at this point, but still managing to do so. After all the love I had for Rachael, I wasn't about to let it all go over a stupid snow storm. Now that my knowledge grew to know she was within the living, I had hope to see her...one...last...time.

The hot air from my lungs poured out in front of me as I grabbed onto Rachaels jacket, holding her close again. She was laughing, and smiling like she always had as I stared into those large blue orbs. The anticipation was like nothing ever felt before. Like the prick of a knife upon my tender skin, slowly poking in...one step at a time. All of it released as I dove in, pressing my lips upon her tender pads of beauty. They were warm like all my memories had suggested, and nothing short of what I expected.For onceI was in my own heaven with her in my arms, exactly how I always wanted it too be. Nothing short of this...

In these final moments I can no longer percieve what happened. All I knew was that being with Rachael was more worth while than the world itself. No amount of riches or power could have driven me away from her. That's why, when the car came unnoticeably pounding through the blizzard I was hit straight on. Rachael disseapeared like a fragrant mist...lost forever. Was she a figment? No...I don't believe she was. This was real, more real than ever before and these last few moments were more special than any other thing in my life. As if for the first time I was one with Rachael. Part of eachothers soul.

Looking down on my dead blood splattered body wasn't painful in the least bit. I saw the blood splattered, and realized that there was no point in this world other than for Racael. My life, everything that I believed in lied within the soul of that woman. Now that I was with her, I felt no pain. Separated in life, together in death. That's how our world spans out. My pain was so great in reaching out to her, that she came down and saved me from the pain that had been plaguing me eternally. So now I will watch the world float by...Eternaly.


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