If I had Just Said Yes…
It takes just one moment for everything to change. One single decision, one mistake, one regret, one wrong answer and BAM nothing will ever be the same. The worst feeling though is knowing that there is no rewind and that you will have to live with the guilt and regret for the rest of your life. You could say that is the perfect way to describe my life. One mistake and now everything is different.
But I'm getting ahead of myself. I guess you could say my story began with a party…
"You know beautiful girls, shouldn't be standing alone at a party in the corner." A very familiar voice whispered in my ear as arms snaked around my waist from behind.
"Who says I'm alone? Maybe I came here with my boyfriend?" A smile plastered on my face as the arms tighten around my waist, bringing me closer to the built body behind me. Feeling the warmth of the body set butterflies to my stomach. I tried to act like no one is around me as I glanced around the mob of dancing drunks and blaring music, but the hot breathe on my neck was starting making my head swirl.
"Oh really now? Where's the lucky/handsome guy?" I knew by his tone that there was a cocky smirk on his face.
"I've been wondering the same thing. He told me to meet him here twenty minutes again." I folded my arms, feeling the arms snake away from my waist.
"Babe, I was setting up for your surprise." I turned around and faced my brown hair, hazel eyes dork of a boyfriend. Okay, maybe he wasn't a dork, he was a super-hot college quarterback, but still he was a goof in my eyes. I loved him more than I have ever loved anything and I wouldn't change a thing about him.
"What kind of surprise?" I smiled, moving closer and wrapping my arms around his waist, pulling myself closer to him. Even with wearing heels, my 5'8 figure was nothing compared to his 6'3. I stared up into his eyes, seeing the natural spark and twinkle of excited that made my heart flutter with joy.
"Well it wouldn't be a surprise if I told you, now would it?" A cheeky smile replaced his smirk, as he leaned down and brought his spearmint lips down to mine. I could kiss him forever. My heart thumped in my chest as he pulled away, a pout forming on my lips. The tingly feeling that he left on my lips made me crave to have his lips more on mine.
"Come take a walk with me please," He whispered in my ear, the loud music thumping in the background. Even though the room was packed with college party animals, the only thing that was clear to me was Evan.
His eyes searched mine, as a smile lite up on my face and I nodded my head eagerly. Evan mirrored my smile as he linked his fingers through mine and led through the crowd, heading towards the outside door.
When we finally reached outside, I let out the loud breath I had been keeping in. Getting through that house seemed like an impossible task, but somehow Evan found us a way. As my eyes scanned the backyard, I instantly felt jealous and in awe with my surrounding. With having the party at our friend Matt's beach house, I never expect that I would want his backyard so much. I love the ocean and the beach but I especially loved the sunset.
Staring out at the crashing waves with the orangey yellow sunset in the background I felt like I was in a movie. It is so beautiful and romantic that it made my heart skip a beat. I turned towards Evan, who was also admiring the captivating scene that it finally gave me a minute to take in his stunning appearance.
For the first time since coming to the party, I had realized that the he was wearing a black dress shirt which was rolled up his forearms, with a red tie which matched my long red dress. He was also wearing black dress pants and polish black shoes which I could even see my reflection in if I looked hard enough. Evan was already an extremely good looking guy but something about the way he looked tonight just made him looked more mature and sexier than ever.
"You know if you take a picture it will last longer." My eyes flicked back up to his face which contained his normal smirk. He kept his attention to the scenery, but I could tell his eyes were trying not to glance over at me.
"Why would I want to take a picture, if I already have what I want in person?" I smirked back, winking at Evan as I released his hand and made my way down towards the water. I made sure to shake my hips a little more than normal, feeling Evan eyes glued to my butt. He was such a perv.
I stopped walking and bent down, undoing my high heels and throwing them off to the side. I could still hear the music blaring from inside, but I was satisfied with being outside away from everyone with only Evan. I felt on cloud nine and I didn't want to move because the moment was so perfect. How can life get much better than a sunset with the boy I loved?
"You know as gorgeous as this sunset is, I still think you are the most beautiful thing my eyes have ever seen." I guess I got distracted by the view again, that I didn't even realize that Evan had snuck up behind me.
"You are too corny for your own good. However, that is a reason why I love you, thank you though." I twisted back and placed a quick peck on his lips, before going to turn back, but Evan stopped me. The soft hand that was placed on my wrist, made my skin burn. I glanced down at his hand, before staring into his eyes with confusion.
"Kelly I've been meaning to talk to you. Today is a very special day for us because it's our 3 year anniversary. Ever since the first day I saw you, you have taken my breath away and made my heart leap from my chest. I never except to find someone that I would love so much that it hurts, but every time I'm with you, I can't imagine anyone else. Whenever I'm not around you, I feel incomplete, empty and my heart aches. You have shown me what love is and have proven to me that with kindness and love anything possible. You make me smile and I love how free, outgoing but yet stubborn you are. Everything about you drives me crazy but in a way that I need you in my life. I love you so much that I don't even want to think about not spending every day of my future with you, because you are my future. I love you, and I guess all I'm trying to say is will you make me the happiness person alive and marry me?" Evan bent down in front of me on one knee with a box with a ring that every girl dreamed of. My eyes widened to the size of baseballs as my jaw hung around my ankles.
"I…I…I…" I felt speechless and unsure of what to say. My heart and head pounded as I stared in to Evan's pleading eyes. I wasn't ready for this. I felt like I needed to puke. Oh no…
As fast as I could I ran to the closest garbage can near Matt's deck and placed my hands on both sides of the garbage can as everything in me spewed into the garbage can. Not even a few seconds later were Evan hands holding up my hair, as a hand lightly rubbed my back.
When everything finally came out, I leaned up and wiped my mouth with the back of my hand. I felt so embarrassed that all I could do was look down.
"Kelly, are you okay?" Concerned leaked from Evan's voice as he stood a few feet away from me. I stared up and met Evan's eyes which were filled with pain and worry.
"Evan, I love you so much, but I'm not ready for this. It's too soon and we are too young. I can't do it, I'm sorry." Tears poured my face, as I went to reach for Evan but he took a step back with disgust and rejection all over his face.
"Fine, I guess I'm not ready for us anymore than…" Evan's voice was cold and hard but I could see the pain in his eyes. His words hit my chest like bullets.
"WHAT? NO, I STILL LOVE YOU." I screamed as Evan slowly left, heading towards the house. My knees felt wobbly as I rushed towards the house. I needed to safe this. I needed us.
Rushing into the house, I noticed more people had arrived. Searching the room, my eyes landed at the drink table, we Evan pulled a bottle of vodka to his mouth. Gulping down the hard liquor, sip by sip.
"EVAN!" I screamed running over to the table, just as he placed down the bottle.
"Why? Is it because I'm not good enough for you?" His voice made my heart shatter, as his eyes bored into mine. A single tear shredded down his cheek as he turned and walked towards the front door. I rushed behind him once again, but this time, I was not quick enough.
Getting outside, Evan stopped at the side walk and glanced back at me, before shaking his head and turning towards the car that recklessly pulled up in front of him.
"Hey..hey jerkoff, ne-ne-need a ride?" Harley (a friend of ours) slurred from the driver's seat. You could tell he was beyond drunk and definitely should not be driving. Evan won't be stupid enough to get in the car with him would he?
"EVAN, DON'T YOU DARE GET IN THAT CAR!" I screamed rushing forward and placing a hand on his bicep.
"You are not the boss of me, you can't tell me what to do…" Evan snapped, ripping his arm away.
"Evan, please don't for me don't. He's in no shape to drive. Please, just let me drive you." I pleaded, trying to knock some sense into him.
"You said NO, you told me you weren't ready. You are breaking my heart Kelly. I think I need some space." Evan pulled away and opened the passenger door, sitting down.
"PLEASE, DON'T…." It was too late! They were already speeding away as I collapsed to my knees. Everything in me stung and I knew something bad was about to happen. I knew I should have stopped him, but I didn't. Why did I do this? Why…
I had lost everything that day. One mistake, one wrong answer and now he was gone forever. If I stopped him, he would still be here. All it would have taken was a three letter word, but yet, it was too late now. This could have been different if I had just said yes…