My three friends and I were lying on the soft, grassy plains relaxing during summer vacation. It was the most peaceful day of my life but what was strange was that I could never remember ever living in that moment. No matter what I did I just could not remember that day. I tried asking my friends but they said that they never had a day like that. All I know is that for some reason this day changed everything and everyone.
I don’t remember ever waking up to that morning nor could I remember why we were all together. All I did was just relish in that moment of peace. Lucy my friend and also the girl I had a crush on, was desperately trying to get me to play with the other two in a game of hide-and-seek but I kept denying. I simply told them that I just wanted to rest because I have this thought that someday an event would occur that would change our way of life. Though we were all a bit young to understand what that meant my other friend Raven explained it to me, Lucy, and Darren. Darren was the only guy friends that had actually managed to make me have fun in school. Lucy and Raven were girls that had tried to become friends with me as well because I was very quiet and shunned by everyone else. Whenever Darren was absent from school I usually just sat down in the small sand box and kept my head down. Around 6 months into the school year Lucy noticed me and sat down with me because she too was shunned by the popular kids. Raven had the same problem and found us in the sand box and sat down as well. Most of our recess time was spent silently with nothing to talk about. That stopped and eventually we began asking each other any type of question such as when is your birthday or where did you come from. When Darren did show up at school he always tried to get us away from the sand box but soon gave up and sat down with us. We began to understand each other more as everyday passed and soon a very unique bond formed between us all. Whenever Lucy was bullied Raven stood up to defend her and was even willing to fight the kids making fun of her. If Raven was getting overwhelmed by the number of boys and girls Darren, Lucy, and I would help her in either talking back to the bullies of just fight alongside each other. Most of the days we end up with either black eyes or bruises but to us it was worth it if it meant protecting each other.
Even though I explained that day to my friends they always say that they could never remember ever being in a grassy field. These days we are all 16 and we go to high school in the 10th grade. We just go on with our normal lives and we are still with each other but I became more distant for an unknown reason. Not even I could remember why I barely talked to anyone. With every day that passed it was like I had lost my memory of every morning yet I still remembered the times that I went to sleep. Lucy began to worry about me and tried to make me talk out my problems with her. It was during her attempts of trying to break me out of my mind that I fell in love with her. I told Lucy what was going on and that the reason I didn’t want to talk was because I was having these delusions. If I make contact with something or someone of importance I seem to have these delusive images that play in my head and are projected through my eyes. The symptom became so bad that I began to think that the world we live in is just the delusion of a single man or woman in the real world. I thought that the god we warship was just a delusion of a person who wanted to save his own life. Whenever Lucy, Raven, or Darren wanted to speak with me I almost always had a delusion of something horrible occurring to either me or them. Once when Darren wanted to have a guys night out at his brothers bachelor party I had a delusion where Darren and I entered his brother’s house but saw blood and guts everywhere. Writing was on the walls in blood which kept on saying “These people died because I wanted to have fun”. The murderer came into the house with a pistol and aimed it directly at me. Darren moved next to the murderer and pulled out a knife. At first I thought that he was going to try to incapacitate the man but instead Darren threw the knife at me which got lodged inside my right shoulder. I leaned against the wall in fear looking at the gun aimed at my head. The murderer pulled the trigger very slowly and then, the trigger was pulled, a bang was heard, and I saw the bullet coming towards me but before he shot the bullet I closed my eyes. When I opened my eyes I was people partying and drinking while Darren was shaking me in order to wake me up.Darren told me that I fell asleep on the couch in the living room and I decided to go home. As I was walking home I turned around and saw that Raven was waiting for me in front of my house. I asked her to come in and she accepted. I then asked her reason for being here and her reply was something very shocking. When I got us some drinks we sat down on my bed and waited for one of us to start a conversation. Raven became annoyed at the silence and went straight to the point. The words that came out of her mouth surprised me very much.
“I love you.”
I was completely shocked of what she did next. She pushed me down on the bed and kissed me. I tried to push her off but she just wouldn’t stop. I thought about Lucy and saw her crying and yelling into her pillow. I wanted to stop, really I did. But soon I was beginning to feel good about this and then it soon led to us making love. Honestly at the moment I didn’t really care about what Lucy would think.
Again I do not recall ever waking up that morning after Raven and I made love. Raven was very happy to know that we love each other. I was surprised that I love her as well. I guess I have been through more events with Raven than I have with Lucy. Raven and I decided that we would tell Lucy about what happened and at least include Darren in all of this as we kind of forgot about him. When Raven and I were ready we left my house and went towards Lucy’s house. As we turned around the corner my vision became perplexed. I began to see colors, I couldn’t stand up, and then, I blacked out.
I woke up in what seemed to be my room. As I woke up I realized that I was crying. Why was a crying and why was I in my room? I got up from my bed and I didn’t see anyone in my house. I just saw my phone lying down on the kitchen table. I noticed that it was blinking red which meant there was a voice message. I ignored the message and just called Lucy to ask her if she was wanted to do something after school tomorrow but she didn’t pick up. I tried a few more times and still no answer. I gave up and then called Raven to ask her if Lucy isn’t feeling well but what Raven said was the most horrible joke I have ever heard.
“After she found out about us Lucy killed herself.”
I asked her what happened on that day, when we were all on the field.
“Please stop asking that I’m sorry but I can’t remember.”
Darren! I hung up the phone and realized that Darren lives just a few minutes away from me. I put on a sweater and some jeans along with shoes and ran out of my house. I was running as fast as I could to get to Darren’s house. When I looked at Darren’s house, I saw that there was no light to show that he was awake. As I got closer to his home, I saw that the living room was empty. I tried knocking but no one came to open the door. I opened the door myself and saw that it wasn’t locked. I looked everywhere in the house and everywhere I looked was just another empty room. What happened? Again I used my cell phone to call Raven and apologized for hanging up on her. I asked her when and why Darren moved.
“Darren? I don’t know anyone named Darren.”
I said thank you to Raven very slowly and hung up. I was trying to understand the situation. Raven and I did love each other, Lucy killed herself because of us, and Darren moved away from here. In a desperate attempt I called Darren’s number and all I heard “was service to this number was never created.” That meant that Darren’s phone number had never been created, this meant, Darren never existed.Was he just a delusion in my mind? That’s it, the reason why I could never remember ever waking up to any of those days was because they were all a delusion. Lucy being friendly to me after Raven and I told her that we were in love was just a delusion. And Darren’s existence was just a delusion of me wanting a best friend. Since when had this all become a delusion? Facing reality I left the empty house and returned to my house. When I opened the door I saw Lucy, Darren, and Raven ready to party since it was my birthday. Lucy was the first to congratulate me on being the first to turn 17. I was so happy to see her that I wanted to hold her one more. As she came toward me I opened my arms ready for her hug. When she put her arms around me, I did the same but as I put my arms around small body, she vanished. Darren vanished as well leaving only Raven sitting in my bed. She wanted to give me a gift. It was to be the first and only man in the world to deflower her. But we already made love didn’t we? No that was just a delusion. Besides Raven is the only person I have left. I may as well just stay with her from now on.
I had a dream about the four of us as little kids playing tag in the grassy field. I was holding hands with Lucy when we were finished playing. As our parents called for us to get ready and leave we all said that we wanted to come stay at my house. The parents laughed in joy at this friendship and let us have our ways. We all got up and headed towards my home. Both Lucy and Raven wanted to hold my hands while Darren acted like the boss and led the way. We were all smiling and enjoying this day. We never wanted our friendship to end.
Since when had my life become a delusion?