I could feel my breath getting heavier as I touched myself. I whispered his name again and again as if it was the only word that would save me from my sin. In my imagination, I was sitting on top of him and he was fucking me hard. One of his hands was on my ass and the other on the back of my head, grabbing my hair tightly. His mouth was sucking my neck hard, leaving red marks on my skin.
" You're mine..." He growled within his gasps. I could do nothing but moan louder. He suddenly wrapped his arms around my waist and held me tightly just to thrust inside me one last time. And like this, I climaxed both in my mind and in reality.
I opened my eyes and looked at the roof of my room. My face and my back were all sweaty and my hand was messy inside my pants. If somebody walked inside right now he would probably widen his eyes and ask me what the hell I was doing but I didn't really care; I was satisfied and that was enough for me.
After a while I decided to get out of my bed and fix myself a bit. After all it was already 7:30 am and if I didn't start getting dressed I would be late for school. I took a fast shower, brushed my hair a bit and got dressed casually before I head towards the living room. There I found Nina eating her breakfast fast. She would be late as well as it seems.
" What have you been doing? " She asked me with a surprise after she finished the last bite of her food. " I thought I was the only one still inside the house. "
" I overslept.. " I replied with a whisper, still a bit too relaxed from my morning masturbation. " I think I will miss the first hour. "
" You don't seem very worried about that. " She said with a small giggle. I smiled back at her and like that we started walking towards school together in a rather slow pace, knowing that we wouldn't make it in on our time even if we ran.
Me, Nina, James, Jim and Paul had been living together since last year. We were all coming from fucked up families and only God knows how we ended up together. I don't even remember most of the details of our "story". Whenever I think about it my mind becomes blank and I feel sick. Truth to be told, I don't even care. Whatever happened in the past belongs there and I don't wish to bring that shit back into my life ever again.
The only thing that I dislike is that I have to share the apartment with so many people. I know that it is easier to pay the bill this way but still I wish I could share the apartment only with James. That way maybe... Maybe he would actually look at me and see how I feel about him. Maybe he would realise how much I want him...
Or maybe he would ignore me even more than he already does and fuck that stupid little slut in his room all the time. What was her name again? Lila? Lilly? I don't remember... Fuck, I hate her! She has been running behind him like a little bitch that she is, playing with her bleach blonde hair as if she was a playbody bunny with mental problems and sticking her gruesome body on his. It is ridiculous! What does he find into her anyway?
These thoughts made me frown while I was opening the door to my apartment. School had ended already and James was nowhere to be found even though I searched the whole building. Nina and the others invited me for food but I wasn't in the mood. If James isn't around, the whole thing is just dull. At least here in the apartment I can be alone with my fantasies... Or that is what I thought.
After I stepped inside I heard loud noises coming out of James's room. I quietly closed the door behind me and started making my way to the bathroom, which was placed next to James's room. I leaned against the wall and heard almost clearly the moans that came out.
My heart felt heavy. Without even thinking about it, I leaned under the sink and looked through the small hole on the wall; it took me a bit of a time but after a month or so I managed to make it without anyone noticing me. Thanks to the poor material and the thin wall I could now hear and see James fucking his bitch.
She had her face buried in the pillow while her arms were tied up behind her back with a cheap rope. She had a blindfold covering her eyes. Her ass was high up in the air and James was thrusting hard behind her while he grabbing hard her waist.
At first, my chest hurt so much, I seriously thought I would die. But, after a while, I couldn't help but to notice James's naked body with great detail... His abs that seemed so hard and yet I always imagined that they were extremely soft when you rubbed them softly. His short messy hair which covered his closed eyes. The way he was biting his down lip. His pants that were pulled down just enough to get the job done. And, finally, the sweat that was running down his body.
It was enough for me to start touching myself. In my mind, I was the one tied up with the rope. I was fucked hard by him. I was the one he was holding tight. I was the one who was moaning hard...
Even after they had finished and she had left, I stayed inside the bathroom, lying on the dirty floor and breathing deeply. There, inside my blurry mind and my tears I realised that I could do this no more. I couldn't just keep on pretending that I felt nothing for him. When I finally got up I had taken my decision already.
I entered his room without knocking. He turned fast towards my direction a bit panicked.
" Oh hi, when.. " He began saying but then his eyes widened when he realised what he was seeing. " Why are you naked? " He asked with a low and serious voice.
" Fuck me. "
" What? " He yelled with cracked voice.
" Fuck me! " I yelled back at him and threw myself on him, kissing him deeply. His lips had exacly the taste I imagined all these years..
But my happiness didn't last for long. He pushed me hard and looked at me with raging eyes. I had never seen him more angry in my life.
" What the fuck are you thinking? I don't know what kind of fucked up idea you have kid, but I'm not in the mood to play. Go back to your room. " He said and started pushing me towards the door.
For some reason the way he talked to me made me angry. So angry that I found the strength to push him off me.
" Why won't you look at me? Am I that ugly? What do you find in this bitch that you can't find in me? "
" What are you -- "
" I saw you! I saw you and that whore just a few moments ago! But it is fine... It is fine cause I'll show you who you should have chosen from the very start. "
I don't know how long I was on top of him. Neither did I care. Now that he was finally mine nothing seemed to matter. I had tasted his body just like I always wanted to. I kissed his whole body. I fucked him over and over again. I sucked his cum and made him suck mine... The only bad thing was that he couldn't touch me because he was tied up with the same rope he used on his girlfriend.
And like this, everything came into place. Now that I had finally made him mine, I didn't need him anymore. All these years I just wanted to spend a night with him. A night to realise that I don't need anything else from him.
Somehow, this thought along with the fact that he had chosen that cheap bitch over me made me angry. He didn't deserve me... He deserved nothing. Only pain. Pain and sorrow. Looking at the bedside table while I ignored his moans and pleases I found the small knife that he had for decoration. It was fake but if someone used enough force than maybe...
I grabbed it and started stabbing him. Again and again and again. Meanwhile I was still rubbing myself against him while my hands got dirty by his blood. He was screaming something but I didn't understand; I was too high and my mind was blurry. I climaxed so hard and realised that this... This was true ecstasy...
Only when I was panting extremely hard on top of him, with my sweat running down my whole body and a great pain in my hands and hips I managed to catch the meaning of his last words before he dies.
"-- please, please sister stop."