By the way, this story is a work in progress, this is mid story and just a preview and look into Drea's heart. I'm going to go back far enough to do a play by play of Dan and Drea's relationship so you understand why Drea can't let go over her uneasy feelings.
Steve lifted up my chin and looked into my eyes with his soft, caring, green eyes. "Drea, I love you." He paused with hesitation, "I just don't understand why you can't believe me when I say it." He lowered his face which had quickly changed from love and affection to the pain he was feeling.
It was hard for me to believe him, because I had been told the exact same thing everyday by my ex-boyfriend, when all he wanted from the relationship was sex. I was humiliated and degraded. I couldn't believe I did not see it coming.
I looked at Steve and how beautiful he was, immediately tears began to well up, "Steve, I'm so sorry." I quickly backed a few steps away from him. "You don't deserve this; I'm not good enough for you. Every time you open up to me, I hurt you. I feel terrible because I know exactly how it feels to be hurt."
Steve quickly took a step forward and embraced me. As soon as I was in his warm, safe arms I broke down from guilt and pure love for this young man who could comfort me so easily just by his smile. With his light brown hair, and fair skin, he stood about a foot taller than me, making me feel more and more secure. His crooked smile warmed my insides, just seeing him still gives me butterflies.
As Steve looked down at my face again, his pained look quickly disappeared as his facial expression became completely serious, "Drea, you are good enough for me, and it's not that you hurt me, I just thought you would have figured out by now that I am not the same guy Dan is. He's a jerk and dishonest, he obviously couldn't realize when he had it good." His deep, but soft voice rang in my ears as I took in everything he had said.
I locked eyes with him as I took a deep breath and considered if the words I was about to say were sincere and true. "Steve," I said pausing, but still looking him in the eyes, "I love you, with all my heart. I really do. To be honest I don't want to be this guarded with you. You make me feel amazing! I can be myself when I'm with you; you are about the only person who really knows me. Being here with you right now, this is what feels right." Taking a breath Steve replied sounding defeated, "Yet you never fully open up to me and how Dan could have hurt you so bad."
Just thinking about the last night that Dan and I had been together made me shiver with fear. Slowly I moved out of Steve's arms and sat on a chair at the kitchen table. I searched for the right words to tell him exactly why I am the way I am. You'd think after being broken up for eight months with Dan, and being with Steve for two, I would have been able to move on from what had happened and realized that not every guy is like Dan. It made my heart ache thinking about how much I hurt Steve every time I shut him out. I could tell that Steve was watching me patiently as I thought about things.
I looked at Steve and paused; slowly I shut my eyes as that last night played through my mind as I told Steve what had happened. After a few minutes of soaking in what he heard Steve asked in complete shock, "And you have never told anyone what had happened?"
Shaking my head I looked towards the ground in shame. "I'm so ashamed! Please promise me Steve that you won't tell anyone!"
Immediately I started to regret telling him, it was not that I didn't trust him. It was just a dark place that I did not want to go back to, and to have to have Steve know about it made me feel so insecure. I immediately started to panic and my breathing had started to quicken as I began to hyperventilate. "Drea! Calm down," suddenly Steve had hastily moved beside me and held my shoulders and looked me in the eyes as he soothed me, "I'm not going to tell anyone, slowly, breathe-in. Now breathe-out."
Steve's voice could always sooth me, like all those nights I called him crying because of a fight that Dan and I had gotten into, when I my father had passed away, or just simply when I was just having a bad day.
Thinking back, Steve was always there for me, he had always comforted me, and never let me down. With a tear streaked face I looked Steve into his beautiful sea green eyes and all that I could think of was how in love with him I was. Without thinking I moved in and kissed him.
When we parted Steve embraced my face and looked me in the eye with a soft and sincere voice he said "Everything is going to be okay. I'm here for you," he paused still holding his stare "Forever and Always."