I was sitting on the couch staring at the ceiling. I think it’s about time to tell him. I waited in mourning while waiting for Jason to get home. A lone tear rolled down my pale left cheek as I thought about how to explain to him what happened. I heard keys jingle and the door unlock. I felt as if it were hour before he walked into the living room and said hi.
“Jason, I need to talk to you.” He was seventeen; he needed to know now, before he makes the same mistake as I did.
“Yeah Dad, what’s up?”
“By the time I was your age I’d give anything. To fall in love truly was all I could think.” I paused and debated over if I should actually tell him. I should, he needs to know; even if it means bringing those horrible, terrible memories back. “So, I met a girl; your mother. She was the girl of my dreams. The most beautiful woman that I’d ever seen. She said ‘Boy, can I tell you a wonderful thing? I can’t help but notice you staring at me. I know I shouldn’t say this but I really believe that I can tell by your eyes thatyou’re in love with me.’” I took a deep breath. I still remember the exact words she said. It seemed harder to talk about it now than it had when I would sing to him before he could remember. I looked up to see Jason with a quizzical expression on his face. “Now son, I’m only telling you this because life can do terrible things.”
“Well, most of the times we’d have too much to drink; we would laugh at the stars and we’d share everything. Too young to notice and too young to care; love was a story that could compare. In about nine months she ended up having you. I said ‘Girl, can I tell you a wonderful thing? I made you a present with paper and string. Open it with care, now I’m asking you please. You know that I love you, will you please marry me?’
Now son, I’m only telling you this because life can do terrible things. You’ll learn one day, and I hope and I pray that God shows you differently.” He never knew much about his mother. He always thought that she just ended up leaving us, but that wasn’t the truth, even though it was in a sad way. I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes. Jason was still confused, as I always chose to tell him that all she did was leave. I couldn’t bear to tell him what really happened when he was younger; I didn’t want him to live with that while other children could be proud that theirs were still alive. I didn’t want him to think of his mother while others would wish theirs were dead.
“She said ‘Derek, can I tell you a horrible thing? It seems that I’m sick, and I’ve only got weeks. Please don’t be sad now, I really believe that you were the greatest thing that ever happened to me.” Jason’s eyes widen slowly as he noticed the truth about his mother. She died. She didn’t ditch us at all, she would never to that. She died. “Slowly, so slowly, I fell to the ground; on my knees. My head in my hands as I cried, praying that she would get better.” I grabbed Jason by his shoulders and stared straight into his eyes. “So don’t fall in love, there’s just too much to lose. If given the choice then, I’m begging you, to walk away, please walk away, don’t let her get to you. I can’t bear to see the same happen to you.”
“Now son, I’m only telling you this because life can do terrible things.” I saw something move behind him and I looked to see Marie standing behind him. I smiled widely and pushed Jason aside and ran to her. “Marie!” I said while running to embrace her, only to have her vision evaporate as I wrapped my arms around the empty space. My smile slowly faded as I realized it was an illusion. I turned around to Jason, who was now staring at me like I was a different person.
“Dad…” He started to say. I could feel the multiple tears rolling down my face as I stared at my son, who was now shocked.
“Just go upstairs Jason.” He did as he was told and I sat back down on the couch, opening a locket with a picture of her in it. “Marie can I tell you a terrible thing? You made me a wreck, I can no longer breath. I need you here now, is it too much to plead? I need to feel your warmth, sitting right next to me.”