8 years ago: I knew I could never have him. He was better than me in every way possible. He was perfect. He was everything I ever wanted in a guy. I spent countless hours looking at the back of his head in class, his beautiful jet black hair. Butterflies fluttered in my stomach when he said a single word to me. Caleb Watson was the boy I would do anything for, but nothing I would do, would lead me to him.
Present: Eighteen year old me didn't know that I could have Caleb though. It didn't take much for me to get him, it was much easier than I thought. My heart swelled the day he asked me to be his.
I'm 26 now and Caleb and I have been together for four years now, with plans to marry in the next year.
4 years ago: I woke up the next day, remembering that I had just graduated college the night before. It still didn't seem real to me. It feels like yesterday, I was getting ready for my high school graduation. I rolled out of bed, and looked around my room. I was back at my parent’s house until the deal on my apartment was settled. It felt weird to be back here, but welcoming. I showered and dressed, then told my mom I was heading into town to meet Emma to do some shopping for our apartment. Emma had been my best friend since we were nine, and we're going to be living together. I yelled out "Love you!" to my mom, as I walked out the door.
I never really believed in miracles, or fate, or any of that, until this day. Emma and I had just finished buying paintings to hang around the apartment and had decided to stop for lunch at the local diner. We walked in, and as we were being escorted to our table, I heard a voice call out, "Zoey!" I turned my head, and I saw him. His hair still jet black, and his eyes glistening a sky blue. Caleb Watson. Currently twenty-two, tanned, taller, muscular, and beautiful as ever. Is this real?
"Caleb?!" I exclaimed, shocked. He never spoke to me in high school. "How-how are you?" He still had the ability to make me nervous, and the damn butterflies were back again. He smiled at me, and asked me if I wanted to join him for coffee.
Present: That day, Caleb and I talked for hours. He filled me on what he did for college. He told me had his own business in construction, he was his own boss. That was so Caleb. I asked him why he never talked to me in high school, and it turns out, he thought I had no interest in him. Huh! We made plans to go out for dinner the following evening, and we became inseparable since. My dream had finally come true.
1 year later: Caleb and I are married now. 74 days to be exact. Not that I've been counting or anything. Sometimes it's just hard to believe that this beautiful man is mine. I'm so in love with everything about him. The way his hips swing slightly when he walks. The way his lips are always parted slightly. His hair is always messy, and always smells like apples. The way his muscles flex when he stretches, or moves slightly. I especially love the way his eyes sparkle when he looks at me. Caleb really is mine forever. My life is complete.
2 years later: I never thought I would have to say good-bye to Caleb so early. I guess forever is any amount of time really, long or short. I'm sitting at Caleb's funeral, trying to process how this is even happening. I don't feel my dad's arm around my shoulders, and I don't feel the tears running down my cheeks. I am numb, completely numb. The priest is giving a speech, but I tune him out, I can't focus on anything right now. This is all too much. People are crying, hugging each other, saying good-byes. No, stop with the good-byes. The funeral is over, and we are all going home. Good-bye Caleb.
3 months later: I've been sitting in my bed all day, thinking. Of you. Just like I do every day. Everyone has tried getting me to leave my bed, leave my apartment, but I refuse. I barely eat, I'm just not hungry any more. I can't sleep, nightmares of your death still haunt me. I don't cry anymore though, I have no more tears. Emma had come to live with me but she is starting to give up on me already. She knows better by now. They tried getting me to see a therapist, but I refused that too. I didn't need to get out, or a therapist, or food, or sleep, I need you. But you're not here. I thought I had you forever...A light bulb clicked in my head, that's it, I thought. For the first time in months, I smiled.
That night: I grab my laptop, open Microsoft Word and begin to type. Good-bye Emma, Good-bye mom and dad. The only people I have to say good bye to. All three letters, typed and ready for them to find when they find...well...me. When Caleb and I first got married, he insisted on having at least one gun in the apartment, for safety, he taught me how to use it in case I ever needed it. Well, I needed it now. I grabbed it from the hiding place, sat on my floor of my bedroom, placed it to my temple, whispered, "I'll see you soon, sweetheart", and pulled the trigger.
I found myself in a place I could not recognize. It was peaceful though, and quiet. Everything was white, but there was hardly anything here at all. I looked around. "Caleb?" I called out, my voice sounded strangely hallow. He appeared about 10 feet in front of me. He walked swiftly towards me, and he still he had that swing in his step. His pale face broke into a smile. "Zo," he whispered. "Welcome home, love." His arms were waiting, and I went gladly into them.