When I met my husband, I wasn't wanting him to be the fifth man. Nor the fourth, third or second. But that's what happened. He wasn't my first husband, but I'm damn sure he'll be the last.
It was all a blur at first and now as I sit in front of the window watching the white fluffy snow fall down into the front yard, things start to come back to me as clear as rain on a cloudless day.
I was twenty-three, just discovered who I really was, but still was emotionally attatched to my ex who I was with, on and off again for four years. We knew each other only in an intimate way. The way to kiss each other, find all the areas to make each other want more, to the point where we'd think about it when we were at work, with friends or even with family. But we didn't know each
other emotionally and that was what made the relationship crash hard to the ground. To the point where just one thought of us made me depressed, that just the thought of the future made me depressed.
And that wasn't all that made me depressed. My father wasn't a part of my life growing up and my mother was a mainipulative hypocondriact, who loved to put guilt trips on others. I hate to admit that I took after her on those aspects, but I've learned to control it, use it to my advantage. But I never let it control the relationship I had with my first husband. A mistake we made, but never ruined our friendship.
It was our first time in Vegas together. We were on our last verge of being single, waiting for the right person to come along. Sitting at the bar, drunk off our asses, not knowing what we really did until we woke up the next morning, on the hotel bed together, with three familiar faces staring at us, across the room, shaking their heads at us. My older brother, cousin and his best friend, looked
like they were about to grab us, shake us and lecture their heads off.
My head hurt, but it didn't stop me from running to the bathroom to vomit. Alcohol
and hypoglycemia does not mix. I could have sworn it was written on my face. While I rinsed my mouth at the sink, I could hear the boys grinding Cameron's self esteem to the floor. That wasn't about to last as I flushed the toilet, walked out and slapped my brother on the back of the head. We gave each other dirty looks as he grabbed my belt off of the chair and handed it to me.
"Your killing our family by being stupid."
"And your killing your rep by letting it happen. Remember, you consented." I gave him a sly smile, pulled my belt on and then went over to Cameron. "Come chico. We have some explaining to do." I know that it was what he wanted. To be with me because he was afraid of being alone for the rest of his life. He had just gotten out of a serious three year relationship and she wasn't the faithful type.
I also remember when I just turned twenty five. My brother had passed away a year before from a racing accident and my niece came to stay with me and Cameron. We weren't married anymore, but we still lived together to cut costs in half. But just before that, two months to be exact, Judy and I were staying in my brother's house when a horrible earthquake happened, leaving us trapped for several hours under tables in the kitchen. Luckily for us, we had awesome firefighters and EMT's and only took fifteen minutes to get us out of the rubble and into the ambulances. The trip to the hospital was less expensive due to the earthquake and the Doctors and Nurses were good to us, which usually isn't what it seems.
And on our way out the door to a motel, she decided to get sarcastic with me, which in ways was a good thing, unlike on a normal basis, would have been annoying.
"Are you ready to go?" I looked at Judy.
"Our home is destroyed. Where are we going to go?"
"Boy, your optimistic aren't you?"
"I'm just glad that the lord kept us alive."
"Good. I'm happy to hear that." I went to the back of the wheelchair and started to push. "The doctor was nice enough to give us money to stay in a motel for the night."
"Oh. Yeay. Sleeping with cockroaches. My dream vacation!" Judy got sarcastic.
I rolled my eyes as I pushed the wheelchair out of the hospital and into the night.
"Hookers and crackheads. Yep. That's the way your brother wanted you to raise me. I'll be a crackwhore when I grow up."
"Grow up? This is the past where you're suppose to say, 'I dont want to grow up, I want to be a Toys 'R 'Us kid." I got sarcastic back.
"If I became a hooker, you'll be my pimp, right?"
"Anything to keep your ass in check."
"Right on aunt Sophie. I can just see myself turning in my spring break paper. How to be a hooker in twenty-four hours."
"You better get an A plus."
"Then I'll definitly get all the boys to look at me."
"Hey, you'll be the most popular."
"I can see it now in my yearbook. Most likely to succeed in selling merchandise."
"You'll make it big."
"And then when I graduated, I'll become a porn star and have my name next to the stars, like Jenna Jamison."
"Just stay away from Ron Jeremy."
"And when I die and go to heaven, I'll have you to thank, while I explain to God how well you raised me and then I'd get pushed off the plank by the ark angel and fall into the abyss with all the other crackwhores and zombies."
I was left speachless after that. Still to this day, I wonder if she ever would have gone through with all those things, or if she was saying it to get my panties in a twist. Either way, she was aiming for a heart attack.
Just the beginning of this year, I remember when Cameron was reunited with his cousin Jessalyn. The bombshell cousin that even made women's heads turn. She was the ideal Barbie for a nine year old and a possible blow up doll for Cameron's friends. But the blond hair was a given and their beautiful blue eyes were always piercing. They both had big pink pouty lips as well and tasted like strawberries. Cameron was obsessed with my strawberry chapstick, so I'm just assuming she did too, since she always borrowed his things, while staying with us.
It is still amusing to hear how they ran into each other.
Always tucking his blond hair into a hat, just like he was under any vehicle he worked on. Cameron sighed as he listened to his friend fight with his girlfriend. It was the fifth fight that week, second that day alone and Cameron was getting tired of her coming around. When his friend finally told her to leave, Cameron prepared himself for another hour long rant from his friend.
And it started to come to his friends mouth after she left, being cut off when a 1968 Corvette Stingray pulled up and a bright eyed, blond bombshell climbed out. Bright pink stillettos wrapped around her ankles, black mini skirt stopping mid thigh and a bright pink spaghetti strapped halter top, blasted through the sound of their music, making his friends stare like fifteen year olds smitten over a teacher.
Cameron slid himself out from under the truck, got to his feet and wiped his hands on a towel. "Hey, how can we help you?"
"Do you guys do oil checks?"
"Yeah, ten bucks. Anything else?"
"I'm looking for Cameron Baker. The lady at the Chamber of Commerce said she knew him and sent me here."
"Well, I'm him. Are you the Barbie police?" He smirked.
She got sarcastic. "Haha. No. I'm your cousin dimwit."
"Cousin? I only have male cousins."
"Great Aunt Betty's daughter."
"OH! Jess! Hi." He felt stupid. "Sorry."
"Is Aunt Betty okay?"
"Yeah, moms fine. I came out here on my own accord so don't worry." She changed the subject. "Where's the nearest motel?"
"Two blocks that way." He pointed towards the tall building behind her.
His friends shot him a "how could you" glance.
"Or.. you could stay with me for free. I have a spare bedroom."
His friends darted their look back at her.
"Are you sure? I wouldn't want to intrude on any of your special moments."
He scoffed. "Yeah it's fine. I wouldn't want you to have to spend more then what you've had to get here. Plus I'm sure grandma would stab me in my sleep."
"Nah. You were her favorite." She grabbed her purse from her car. "Okay, I'm going to the beauty salon I saw a few blocks back. I'll be back in about an hour so you can do your other cars as well."
"Good. Have fun and watch out for the crazy work men."
"Yeah, I already got hollered at." She started to walk towards the sidewalk, stopping halfway. "Oie. Are you still married to that brunette?"
"No. We got in annulled. But we are still living together."
She scoft, turned and walked away.
Now I know that it sounds like I'm slutty, but I'm not. I only slept with two men and Cam wasn't one of them. Dated a lot of men? Yes, but once they found out that I wouldn't sleep with them or Cam was my first husband, they disappeared quicker then they came to me. It wasn't that they assumed I still had feelings for him, they were afraid of him, which they never could give me a reason why. It was almost like they took one good look at him and shit themselves, which doesn't make since cause he has a baby face.
It had finally came to my attention, one night as Jess and I were sitting with the neighbor girl in my front yard, on lawn chairs of bright colors, trying to tan. Jess and I always had a hard time tanning, while my neighbor girl, Luna could tan as much as she wanted. Luna is of mixed ethnic background. Her father is of Irish and Native American descent, and her mother, a native of Chinese-Filipino-Spanish descent. Jess was Jewish and Danish and I of Scot-Irish, Welsh and Scandinavian descent. We were the weirdest bunch anyone had ever seen, but we didn't care. Our friendship grew stronger over the year as we delt with a bunch of bullshit, just like any other group of friends.
"They aren't afraid of him, they are intimitated by him." Jess pulled her sunglass on.
"Why the hell would they be?"
"Just because he's babyfaced, doesn't mean that he's not strong." Luna smirked.
"Why would Luna be intimitated by you?"
Luna and I looked at each other, eyebrows raised in question.
"I don't know? Why would you?"
"Cause you were his first." Jess answered.
"Um." I was speachless.
"First wife. It always leaves an impression on someone. And therefore would feel that she would have to live up to the expectations that were placed there by you."
"How when we didn't exactly do anything."
"Hugged, hold hands?"
"Hugged, but no hand holding."
"Where are you going with this?" Luna interrupted.
"Ah, well, I assumed you guys would have."
"Nope. Until the marriage was annulled, I lived with my brother. He never came around cause he was afraid that my brother would kill him."
"Not even sneak about?"
"Nope. Not even that. My brother scared him straight."
"I don't even care that they married. It was in their past. It was a mistake. I understand that he was afraid of being alone. But he wont be anymore. Not with me. And I am glad that they moved in across from me. He's been good to me and I've been good to him, thanks to Sophie for her help."
"Ugh. You are making me sick." Jess rolled her eyes.
Still, after being with us for just about a year, Jess hadn't found someone to be with and no one wanted to be with me. That is, until a dark and mysterious man moved in next door to Luna, making her giddy about hooking us up.
A smooth kick in the rear was coming to her when she brought him to the auto shop and introduced him. I was dressed in coveralls, zipper down to my waist, oil all over the place, Cam holding a spark plug in one hand and Jess in coveralls as well, grease all over her face and arms. Our friends, Austen and Juno were working on another engine in a '75 Ford pickup, stopped what they were doing wondering what Luna was thinking, bringing a man who looked really upscaled to a dirty place.
"Guys. This is Dominic Northwood. He just moved in next door."
Not one of us could wave, our hands holding something, as he slightly waved, while she pointed and told him our names.
"Apparently he went to school with you Sophie."
The wrench slipped from the bolt. "What?" For some odd reason his face wasn't registering.
"I..I was a choir kid. Sat in the choir room a lot during lunch. We did have science together though. You couldn't disect the baby pig, so I did. We both got a B." His straight face lightened up.
"Oh. That Dom. So many in our school. I forgot."
"There was only two of us."
I didn't know how to come back on that one as I looked away. How could he remember me, but I barely remember him? The only other Dominic that came to my mind was the stupid blond jock that Cam always got into a fight with. Dominic Hurley didn't know the meaning of the word no and because he took Cameron's sister's virginity, Dominic got a broken nose, three broken ribs and a month in the hospital. It was the only time I witnessed Cameron get that angry and now come to think of it, that's what us girls had talked about that one day in my front yard. I think I was drifting off thinking about Neil Patrick Harris playing Barney Stinson. It was why men were afraid of being with me. And I did nothing to set them straight.
"I was wondering, if we should invite him to the club tonight?" She gave one of those looks to Cameron, those sweet faced but demanding look.
"Ugh, sure. If he wants." Cameron looked at Dom."
"Im not doing anything tonight, but unpacking."
"Good!" She butted in. "Nine thirty."
"Alright." Dom slightly smiled.
"We should get back to your place so you can do some unpacking, or getting ready, or whatever you wanted to do."
"Cool. Thanks for introducing me."
Ugh really? Could she be more bubbly? I watched them walk back to her car, climb in and drive off, before anyone could say anything.
"What a dink. You're with her why?" Austen glared at Cameron.
"She means well."
"Less bubbly please."
"Agreed." Juno and I responded.
"She's a cutie and a keeper though." Jess defended her. And she was right. First time in his whole adult life to have someone treat him right. Okay, I admit, over exaggerating with the last part. Being only twenty-three, I guess it's his whole adult life so far. I married a baby. Rob the craddle as Austen would joke. But look whose talking.
I was afraid of what was going to be that night. Would Dom think I was crazy? Would he be afraid of Cam as well? Would Cam purposly scare him away? UGH! So many what if's. I just want to finish helping them with changing out spark plugs and the oil and go home. Take a nap and shower before leaving for the club.
If only I could remember what happened that night.
Ah yes.. now it all comes back to me.