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A woman suffering from depression remembers a time when she lost all control and her emotions took over.

Submitted:Dec 10, 2012    Reads: 62    Comments: 6    Likes: 4   

She finishes cleaning the kitchen. She keeps glancing at her arm. Each time she glances, she is reminded of the night before. Drinking the cheap liquor trying to drown this dreadful feeling she had but the drinking only made it worse.

She remembers going into the bedroom and opening her drawer. The blade was underneath all of her clothing and she stared at it. She stood there for a moment, thinking about cutting, seeing the beautiful redness come from her arm but she forced herself to walk away. A couple more drinks and she knew it was too much but she didn't care. Thoughts were consuming her mind. This feeling wouldn't go away. It was as if a dark cloud was hanging above her, following her. She always felt sad. She remembers a time when she was happy but those days were long gone. The thought of this made her cry. She walked back to the very same drawer that held the blade. She slowly opened it and grabbed it. She let her finger trace over the sharp edge. While she did this, she slowly went to the bed and sat down. She looked at her arm for only a second before she dragged the blade across her skin with blood trailing behind it. One cut led to another and another. She couldn't stop. She wanted to hurt herself on the outside so she could try to kill the thing that was on the inside. This thing made her want to die. She kept cutting.

After awhile, the tears stopped and so did the cutting. Blood dripped on the floor. She stared at what she had done to her arm and all the blood that covered it but yet she felt no pain. She then stood up and walked to the mirror. She stood in front of it and studied the girl looking back at her. She didn't know this person. She didn't like this person.

As she stood there in the kitchen looking at her arm, thinking about the night before, she heard the front door open. She jolted as she heard the door shut. She urries and rolls down her sleeves so her lover won't see. She turns around as her lover walks in. He greets her with a smile. She smiles back but he notices that something is wrong. He tilts his head and studies her. Something she loved and hated about him is that he could read her so well. He notices that the smile she has on her face was a smile he saw before. It was a broken smile. He slowly walks up to her and places his hand on her cheek. The smile fades and tears slowly appear in her eyes. He looks at her and whispers, "I love you and we are going to get through this. Together." At that moment, she realizes that she must tell him what she had done. She realizes that she can' t hide her problems away from him. She lifts her hand to his and pulls it away from her cheek and now places it on her sleeve. They both roll her sleeve up.

He looks down but her eyes remain on him. She can see pain in his eyes. He places his hand on the deep cuts softly. He lifts his eyes to hers. They both say nothing. He stares at the cuts again but this time lifts her arm to his lips. He softly kisses her wounds which makes her cry more. He then looks at her with confidence and says, "I promise you that one day, everything is going to be better for you. I'm going to help you get through this." She closed her eyes and started to sob. He pulled her into him, letting her head rest on his chest.

He wasn't going to let her go through this alone. They were going to get through this together. As she was against him, she felt safe at the moment, which was something that she hadn't felt in a long time. She knew that she had to be strong for him but even if she couldn't be strong and fell apart, he would be there to put her back together.


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