I get up from my side on Trevor's bed. He's sleeping on the opposite side with nothing but his black boxers on. His gorgeous tan back is showing and it's seriously beautiful in the morning sunlight. I climb on top of him. I sit on his thighs and place my hands on his waist. I can feel him moving beneath me.
He turns his head to look me in the eye. He is smiling like a fool. That's the smile that I've fallen for. This is the guy I never thought I'd fall for. Here I am. I love this man.
"Good morning lovely," Trevor says. His voice is deep and raspy from sleep. It's so sexy.
I get up so Trevor can turn around. He lies down on his back and I sit back down on him. I can feel his hardened member and it instantly turns me on. I move down and kiss him hello.
"As much as I want to Liv, we need to get to the office."
I do as he says. Gosh, he has more self-control than I do!
"Way to kill the mood Trevor."
I get out of the bed. I'm only wearing my black bra and matching panties. Trevor grabs me by the waist before I can move away to the bathroom. He lets me sit on his lap while he kisses my shoulders and then my neck. I can never stay mad at him for very long.
He has that effect on me.
"It's all right. I completely understand," I sound like a robot. I don't mean these words; they're just on autopilot. I love being with Trevor, but Trevor just likes the physical part. He would do any girl that would offer what I am offering.
I know so.
"You need to stop doing what you're doing Olivia. It's just making everything worse."
"I know Felicity, but I like being with him. If that means having this no-strings-attached thing, then I'm okay with that."
Felicity gets up from her desk and is now standing directly in front of me. She puts her hands on her hips. She's always so motherly sometimes.
"You need to stop this! Like two months ago!"
"I know," I whisper in an embarrassed, sad tone.
It's not like I'm not fully aware that this relationship Trevor and I have isn't right. It's completely selfish and pointless. I need to end it.
"I'm going to go end it right now."
I get up from my desk. I fix my black skirt and then walk the short distance to Trevor's office. He's sitting in his chair, his eyes glued to his computer monitor. He looks so serious. It's such a change than when he's with me every night and morning.
He finally notices the presence in the room and looks up. He smiles. That changes the entire atmosphere. I feel a happy warm feeling in my stomach. I love it when Trevor smiles.
"What's going on Liv?" my stomach bursts with butterflies when he calls me Liv.
I look down at the floor. Why is this so hard for me? This should be easy. This arrangement is over. I swallow hard and look up at Trevor.
"I think it's best if we end our thing," I feel awkward not being able to describe what exactly our relationship is.
Trevor gets up from his desk so he can shut the door. He walks directly in front of me. He is unreadable. I have no idea what he is thinking.
"Are you sure?" he finally manages to ask.
"Yeah. I mean, it's just sex right?" saying this hurts deep inside. It was never just sex to me. It was love. I made love to this man every time. Trevor makes me feel more alive and happy than I've ever been. I think that's why I fell so hard for him.
Trevor walks back to his desk. He doesn't say another word to me.
"Are you okay with this Trevor? Just tell me."
He doesn't say anything. Not another word.
The whole day has been slow and tiresome. I can feel the annoying feeling in the air. When it's finally five o'clock I make a run for the elevator. I need to get out of here before this day gets even worse.
When I make it inside my apartment I break down. I let all of my emotions out. I cry for being so stupid. I shouldn't have let this sex buddy thing go on in the first place. I should have known that I would fall for Trevor. Hell, I loved him even before the arrangement. I just went with it because it was Trevor.
I remember when we met. It was nothing that I expected.
Three months ago…
I walk into Firth and Gray with a horrible nervous feeling in my stomach. I have been out of work for almost six months now. The only reason I lost my job was due to the owner retiring and shutting down the company.
And here I am in a big law firm waiting to see the guy with his name on the door.
"Olivia Wallis," the pretty blonde receptionist says in her sweet voice.
I get up from my chair and follow her to Mr. Gray's office. Once there, she smiles and lets me go inside the office. Sitting in front of me is not what I expected at all. This man is younger than I thought he was going to be.
"You look surprised," he tells me. I can feel the sarcasm in his voice.
"I am. I, uh, wasn't expecting you to be so young."
He laughs. I've never heard such a contagious laugh before. This surprisingly makes my nerves completely disappear. It's almost like they were never there in the first place.
"Well, Olivia, what makes you think you can be my assistant?"
Oh God. What do I say? I stare into his deep green eyes and tell him the truth. "I think I could do almost any job Mr. Gray. I just need a job. I know that sounds pathetic, but it's true. You're my only hope right now and I hope you can see the potential that I do have."
He just smiles. That's all. He doesn't say anything else.
I get up from my chair. Being honest didn't work.
"Wait, where do you think you're going?"
"You obviously don't like me."
"And what gave you that idea? You start tomorrow at nine."
And that was the first day I met Trevor.
It felt like once I started working at Firth and Gray, our chemistry heated up. Neither one of us ever made a move. Until one evening.
It was after ten in the evening. I stayed late to help Trevor with his case. I didn't actually do much; I just sat in the chair across from him. Everything happened so fast. One second I was just watching Trevor and the next he was kissing me with such force that I kissed him right back.
The first time we had sex was explosive.
I've never screamed that loud in my life. The way he touched me made me feel special. The way he kissed me made me feel special. The way he looked at me made me feel special. Everything about Trevor made me feel like I was the only girl in the world.
I thought we were going to be a couple.
It never happened though. We had sex. It became part of our everyday routine. Every time was better and better than the last. Even though we weren't a couple, being with Trevor in this way was better than I could ask for.
And here I am now. Crying, alone, and lonely.
I crawl into my bed. I wipe my tears, but new one form before I can finish. It isn't worth it. I shouldn't be crying. I knew this was going to happen.
I'm shocked to hear a knock at the door. I get up from my bed nervously. Is he really coming over here? What the hell does he want?
Instead I'm face to face with Felicity. She's holding a pint of Ben and Jerry's ice cream and a box of tissues. This is too precious. I cry because I have the most thoughtful best friend in the whole world. I pull her close and hug her.
"This is too sweet of you. Thank you so much!"
We both pull back and Felicity smiles. "I thought you would need this."
Felicity and I go into the kitchen and eat the ice cream straight from the carton. She makes me laugh. She makes me cry. Best of all, she doesn't bring Trevor up at all.
We even watch a stupid horror movie. This lightens the mood.
"Thank you so much Felicity. You made this night a lot better."
"You're welcome Olivia. I'll see you tomorrow."
We hug one more time and then she leaves. I shut the door. I go back to my bedroom and lie down. I don't cry anymore. My head hits my pillow and fall asleep peacefully.
I quickly get ready for work. I'm too nervous to really think anything through. Now that everything is over between Trevor and I, I don't want everything to be awkward. I need this job.
When I get to my desk, Felicity is already there. She is taking a sip of her Starbucks coffee. She looks pretty happy this morning.
"How are you feeling Olivia?"
"Surprisingly, a lot better. Thank you."
We both get busy. A slamming of a door makes everybody in the office turn around. We're all shocked to see Trevor walking in the office late looking like a mess. His shirt is wrinkled, his tie is undone, his hair is sticking up in all different directions. Oh God. He had a one night stand.
My heart hurts again. I swallow hard. I'm not going to cry in front of Trevor. He doesn't need to see how weak I am.
Trevor stops at my desk. He looks me in the eyes. For the first time since I met him, they're dull. There is no spark in his eyes. That light is gone.
"When I met you I was shocked. I wasn't expecting a lady like you to be in my office. I was nervous. You made me nervous. As I got to know you, I thought you were aggravating. You would argue with me over anything. And you would always want to win, even if you knew you were wrong. I thought you were irritating at first. Then I realized how much I loved being around you. Even if we were just having stupid arguments, I was with you. I've never met somebody who I could truly be myself around, but here you are. That night we made love for the first time, I've never felt like that before. It was out of this world. I loved it. Then we started our arrangement. I was happy that I got to be with you. I even learned that I loved being with you sexually just as much as I love being with you period. I also learned that I want to be with you. I was scared. I'm still scared. I didn't want to lose what we had, if we had anything that is. I didn't want to lose you. I still don't. I don't want to see you with another guy. That's selfish I know, but it's true."
I'm shocked. Everybody in the office is staring in utter shock too. It isn't like Trevor to be so emotional and honest about his feelings towards somebody. That somebody is me. How was I so blind to how he felt? Why did I jump to so many conclusions? How can he have these feelings? How? Why?
"What are you saying?" I have tears in my eyes now.
"Please don't play stupid with me Liv."
I roll my eyes and smirk. "Just tell me."
Trevor walks closer to me. He puts his arms around my waist and brings me closer to him. "I was wondering if you would be my girlfriend."
"Oh really? And why would you want me to be your girlfriend?"
He kisses my neck just once. He looks me directly in the eyes, "Because you're not perfect by any means, but you make me feel comfortable. I am always myself when I am with you. You're intelligent and cheeky and annoying and honest and caring and so, so gorgeously beautiful and I love you."
I don't waste another minute. I wrap my arms around Trevor's neck and kiss him hard on the lips. It doesn't take him very long to respond. He pulls me even closer and kisses me just as passionately back. His tongue and my tongue meet and I cannot help but moan at the pleasure. I break the kiss and look right into Trevor's eyes.
"Oh and why would you want me to be your boyfriend? Just tell me."
He's going to play dumb too it looks like.
"Because I love you too. I always have and I always will."
Trevor kisses me again. I don't care that everybody in the office is watching this. This moment is more special than anything in the world. I've never felt as loved as I do now. That's all that matters.