I Couldn’t Do Anything…..
She’d once told me, that she’ll be by my side always. She told me that her love for me would never change, that she would never change. But it was my mistake that I’ve lost her today. I lost her just like every drop of tear I’d shed. If I was rich, if I was more caring I would’ve known. I would’ve saved her and would’ve never let her go.
We met like any other lover would have met; we loved like any other lover would have. The only difference was that we were different, that we weren’t the same. She was ignored, when I was admired. She wore glasses, where as I wore the popularity name. She was in hunger for a boyfriend, where as I was hungry for love. We were different and yet still the same. We fulfilled each other’s needs.
I never believed in when they said opposites attract, neither did I ever believe in love. I always thought the person I’d fall for would be beautiful, attracting. But she was different. Maybe that’s why she caught my attention. Because of her I found a new meaning to life. I started paying attention to my studies, I started filling out college forms. I always told her my problems, yet never listened to hers. I guess that was my mistake!
She had cancer. I swear I never knew! She never complained, she never cried. She was strong, she was brave. The first when I found out was when she didn’t come to school didn’t answer my calls. A week had passed and I decided to go to her house. Her mother answered.
“Yes?” she asked. I asked her mother about her, I asked her where is she at? She answered, crying. “She’s on her last stage…she has leukemia!” my heart fell. It felt I was going to erupt, my heartfelt heavy. I’d never cried before, but I knew this is how it felt. I wanted to let it out. Cry out, ask WHY? Why did they did this to her? But I didn’t know who to ask.
I went to the hospital. I asked them how many more time she has and they said only a few days. I spent every moment with her, although it broke my heart. I kept myself from crying; I told myself I needed to be strong for her. She never cried, she never complained, she just lay there holding my hand. She talked to me; she held my hand until the end….until she gave out. She told me she loved me, before she died. And that’s when I let it out; when I cried and cried, when I couldn’t hold it back anymore.
I loved her, she loved me. My ached for her, her heart ached for me. I couldn’t do anything to save her.