I cried. I never cry. If I do then I keep it to myself. So you can imagine how I felt when�she'd come to me like this lost puppy feeling sorry for me.
But she needed someone as much as I did even if I was the one crying, we were just filling a void we both felt. I think I knew the moment I opened my door to her that it would end in this way... actually if I'm honest�had it been�anyone else that night I'd probably of not of opened my door! I'd�ignored them instead.
She only knocked once and then�waited. I saw her there�with her hands in her pockets and eyes down�toward the ground. She looked nervous.�I sighed and wiped my eyes before releasing the locks and�putting my head round the door. Her eye's searched mine "hey!"�she said softly. I paused while my�eyes adjusted on her and she almost turned away�before I�opened�the door fully�to let her in!��
Inside she passed me a glass of water to help calm me down but my hands let it slip being to week. She took the glass before it had a chance to fall and placed it aside before steadying my hands in hers.�Suddenly she was my balance… She told me it was ok, said that it wasn't my fault and�I wasn't responsible.
It wasn't initiated by her it was me and a question I asked. Something as simple as "Stay with me!"
It made it easy for her to take me like that. She could see my anguish, my fight and�she could hear the reason in my voice and somehow it led to a kiss.
And while she took me in her arms, she unexpectedly eased my pain, made my heart a little lighter. The kiss had lasted a few minutes, and then it was too late to go back… Neither of us could deny it.
I cried through it, while she shadowed me protectively below her, touching me fiercely. Her kisses were wet and desperate. For the first time I saw her and it released me free from myself even if only for a second.
She held me like a child stroking my hair away from my brow, telling me to rest, never moving while I slept. But then she did… She didn't have to leave me there like she had, leaving things awkward and deprived of the closure. Like a forgotten one night stand.
…It's like that saying, you always want what you can't have. We both understood, but now she follows me where ever I go like something is expected but neither of us can deliver it. Even words are hard to form and eye contact is always too quick to get a glimpse of what I saw that night.
Maybe she is just scared, or embarrassed? I am…
Maybe if I cried, she'd come to me tonight? But I have and she hasn't…
Maybe If I just turned up at her door? I could…
No, it's to late now...