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Stress, pressure, abandonment, loneliness.
All things that can eventually make a person depressed and overwhelmed. But for this girl, it led her past the point of no return, to the point where she wanted to die.
But something prevented her from doing that. What was it?
Read and find out.


Submitted:Nov 10, 2009    Reads: 109    Comments: 2    Likes: 2   


She shivered.
The rain continued to pour, chilling her to the bone. Her clothes were soaked, her layered hair a mess. The darkness surrounded her, the only source of light being the sudden flash of electricity through the sky - lightning. It was dangerous to be out here. She knew that. She didn't care. No one else did. So why should she?
Her usually bright amber eyes were clouded, filled with doubt and hurt. Pain took over her heart, her mind spiraling into a dizzy cyclone of confusion. She felt light-headed, nauseous, and sick of her life.
Thunder rumbled, another spark lighting up the darkness. She held her gaze onto the horizon, watching the waters of the deep ocean be whisked up by the strong winds. The sand underneath her bare feet felt cold, causing her to sink deeper with each passing minute. Her mind prodded her, asking why she was here in the first place. She had forgotten. It wasn't like this earlier. She wasn't like this earlier. It was a good day, overall. Until it happened.
When it happened, she couldn't think. She couldn't figure out how to react, what she was supposed to do. All she remembered was the numbness she felt seeping from her heart to the rest of her body. All she could remember was the sharp pang of abandonment and loneliness she felt. All she remembered was the will to run, to escape from the pain.
She choked on a sob, refusing to let the tears escape. She was strong. She wasn't going to cry. But then again, she had run away from her problems. Her heart sank. She wasn't strong. She was weak. Pathetic. Useless. Just like they had said she was. She didn't deserve anything, she didn't deserve anyone. She wasn't worth the trouble. The sudden realization hit her. She didn't deserve to live. No one needed her. No one cared about her. Hell, if she died, no one would notice.
The waves crashed on the shore, almost reaching her feet this time. The tide was high. She could easily just disappear. She looked up at the sky. Darkness filled the void. Rain splashed against her face. A sad smile played on her lips. So it was finally time. She finally reached the point of no return. There was no going back. No one would care.
Are you sure? A voice asked her. Of course she was sure. She was already planning on doing that. Just disappearing into the waves, never to be seen again. No one knew that she was out here - actually, in this weather, no one was out here. But a startling thought came into her mind. What about him?
She shook the thought away. No. He didn't care, either. He claimed that he would never leave her. He promised he'd always be there for her. "Lies," She whispered to the wind as it howled past her, dark hair whipping behind her.
She knew he thought of her like the rest. He was bound to end it soon. She knew it ever since. He was the first, but she knew that he would lose interest eventually. She didn't know how much it took for her to accept that fact and to be ready to throw everything away.
It wasn't as if anyone cared. It wasn't as if she belonged anywhere.
A strange sense of acceptance of her fate filled her. It numbed the pain. Soon, she knew, it would all be over. No one had to bother with her anymore, no one had to be burdened with her. It was an easy solution. Right?
Closing her eyes one last time, she thought of what she was going to do. Would it hurt? Would it be slow and painful? A long, agonizing death? Or would the universe spare her and simply take her soul from when she submerges into the dark waters? She didn't know. And there was only one way to find out.
She took a breath, taking a step towards the ocean of chaos. Something made her pause. She blinked, the rain getting in her eyes. It took her a while to process what made her stop. There it was again.
"Nikki!"
A voice, she thought dreamily. She wondered why such outside forces would address her when she did not die yet. It called to her again. She frowned. It didn't sound like it was some other-worldly god who was calling to her. On the contrary, the voice sounded sharp, full of worry and concern. And fear.
Before she could react, she felt something wrap around her, pulling her away from her doom. She resisted, trying to fight. But whatever it was, it was too strong for her. She gave up, letting it pull her back towards a more level ground. "No…let me go…" She whined quietly. She just wanted it to be over.
"And let you go and kill yourself? Not a chance," the voice said breathlessly. She then realized what was pulling her away. It was arms. Arms of a person. And that voice… the voice was so familiar, so well-embedded in her mind. Who was it?
She pulled away, turning to face the person. She froze. It was him. She didn't know what to think. Her first reaction was anger. Anger at him for stopping her from escaping the pain. Anger at him for not being there. Anger, in general. Then she felt an aching in her heart. She felt it break slowly. She thought he was more than that. She should have known better than to give him everything.
"Why not?" She said through clenched teeth, fire lighting up in her eyes. She wanted to die. So what? What did he care?
He took her hands, she yanked them away. "Why the hell are you here?" She interrogated. Frustration lingered on her mind.
"Nikki, listen. What you're doing is wrong. You can't just-" He started, abruptly being caught off by her.
"What, I can't decide what goes on in my life? It's my life. If I want to destroy it, then let me." She hissed.
He shook his head; she could see worry in his dark eyes. That was just like him. To worry about something he shouldn't be worrying about. "Why do you want to throw your life away?" was all he asked.
She scowled, crossing her arms. "Why not? No one freaking cares, anyways. I'm not worth the space taken up to live. My family doesn't trust me, I'm never enough for them. My so-called friends are only concerned with themselves. And everyone else just treats me like I'm nothing, like I'm just dirt." She could feel her tears beginning to spill. "I'm not perfect. I can't give people what they want anymore. I've lost all sense of who I am. My talents no longer exist. I lost any emotion towards things I used to love doing. What's the point of living like this? What's the point of burdening people with my presence, when the world is better off without me? What's the point in-"
Her words were cut off as he pulled her close to him and kissed her full on the lips. She stiffened at first. Then relaxed, letting the tears flow as the rain poured over them. She felt his arms hold her close. His kiss was sweet, almost an intoxicating drug for the pain in her body. It numbed her thoughts, simply asking to stay a little longer. She couldn't resist. The shock of the kiss brought an electric current between them. He pulled away slowly, looking into her eyes.
A feeling suddenly stabbed at her heart. Here he was, his eyes filled with concern and worry. He cared. She cried, ashamed of what she tried to do. A finger gently wiped away the tears, arms holding her close. He began to speak, softly.
"You deserve more than that. Life is hard, and we all have to go through it. Your family just wants the best for you. They love you, and think about how much it would hurt them if you just killed yourself." She nodded slowly, holding his arms across her chest. "And all those people who treat you like that… don't let it bother you. The only people you need in your life are the ones who need you in theirs. If a person doesn't like you for who you are…" He paused, looking at her. "Then screw them. Live your life. Don't let anyone stop you, Nikki.
"No one's perfect, no one really knows what their purpose in life is - but that's the whole point of this journey, isn't it? Nikki…" He made her look at him. "I'm always here for you. I will never leave you, I'll always be behind you to catch you if you fall."
She smiled. For the first time that night, she felt a surge of sudden relief and happiness. She hugged him tightly, wondering why she wanted to give this up in the first place. At least, she knew that there was one person who would be there. She just needed a little help to see that.
He kissed her head, running a hand through her damp hair. "Don't ever do that again." He warned, poking her. "It would have killed me to see you do that to yourself…"
She nodded, staying quiet. Suddenly, she realized that the rain had slowed to a point where it was only sprinkling. The darkness above them had cleared a little, revealing the heavens above them. She sighed, closing her eyes and letting herself bask in the moment. "I'm sorry."
"It's okay." A kiss was all that was needed to make her feel better yet again. "I'll take you home now?" He offered, gesturing to the opposite direction of the water. She nodded, wiping away a stray tear.
Being in his presence, being reminded that he did care about her, that this was all just an obstacle in her life that she had to overcome. And she didn't have to go through it alone. She had him. That made the whole thing easier.
What really surprised her, though, was that a single kiss made it all disappear - the pain, the agony, the loneliness. It was a sign that made her feel at home, like she belonged somewhere.
So love does prevail, she thought, walking away from the depths of the earth. That was all that mattered. Love.




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