
Random First Lines: Soon after I sorted the my mind out, the letter from Fautale High came with their response. It turns out Maureen... : Young Adult » Read
It's about a dead woman who have been reincarnated and try to live again to find her murder. But she end up falling in love and she promises to her love one that she will forget her vengeance. Everything seem to be alright until a guy mess up with the lovers' life........ View table of contents...
Submitted: May 10, 2008 Reads: 86 Comments: 7 Likes: 2
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This is really pretty good.
I found a few errors. But, other than that it was really good.
Can't wait to read more.
The errors I found were you should have put moved instead of move. Sense it is past tense then.
And instead of on it should have been in.
And rings should be rang.
The only other thing was the sentence where you had "his partner voice in on the phone."
It should maybe be like his partner asked on the phone.
I hope this helps, and I hope you didnt mind me telling you those.
That's all I found.
I give it a 4.5/5
The .5 was just for the very few mistakes you made.
Everyone makes mistakes though.
Keep up the great work!
I can't wait to read more from you.
~mandy
Posted: May 11, 2008
Hehehe... You did it again, Orange... Just hurry up with the other chapters woman!
Posted: May 11, 2008
hi! orange. do let me know why did u title it "my" ghost. get moving. ;-)
Posted: May 14, 2008
The concept is good. Are you going to develop it further.
Posted: May 14, 2008
whoa. shit. double whoa. hella-cool. great start.
Lydia_xxxx
Posted: May 15, 2008
too good...going to read the next chapter.....
*hurrying*
Posted: May 15, 2008
thank you for yr comments*
written very well i must say... id like to read more!
Posted: Nov 4, 2008
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Other writing by Orange Fay My Ghost (chapter 2) What goes around comes around Finally Found More..
Love, Poetry, Death, Life, Poem, Romance, Pain, Fantasy, Hope, Sad, Sex, Hate, God, Horror, War, Humor, Hurt, Sadness, Loss, Dark, Fiction, Depression, Heart, Family, Friendship.