Omg, why is it so hard to let go of someone who you don't even
know if she cares about you!
I just want to say "I love you Erin" but the words won't come
out. I'm scared to start a new chapter in my life. Things seem
to be going just fine right now, but what if it gets worse down
the road? What if she needs me, and I'm not there to help? "You
flirt with too many guys Erin! You are breaking my heart and
you don't even know it!" So I hold her hand in a play, and I
enjoy every minute of it. But she doesn't know that I have an
unquenchable love for her. Every week I tell my self "I'm done
with her, I'm letting go, I'm going to forget that I like her"
but then I see her again, and I can't help wishing that she was
mine. "Be mine Erin!" But she does not hear, for I say it under
my breath, too sacred that she should hear me. "I will love
you, and keep you, and never shall you want anything if it be
in my power to get it for you!" But once again, she does not
hear it because I say it not aloud. "WHY?" Cries my heart, "Why
can't you say that you love her?" I do not know, so I do not
answer. "Just do it" says my heart, no, I can't, she cares not
for me. She is too smart for me. She is too beautiful for me.
She has the prettiest eyes, and I am not even worthy to look
into them. My heart then asks "But will there ever be a man
that will love her as you do?" No, but will she love me back?
I'm sure that there was a time she did like me, but it is so
hard to know. "Erin, why are you so confusing? I want you, and
at times it feels like you want me." No she doesn't, I'm a
freak, I have crazy hair that is very coarse, I'm a skinny
farmer that is scared of spiders. She doesn't want me. I cry
when others bring me down. "You also cry at night when you
think about her" whispers my heart. SHUT UP! What if I join the
Air Force? I would have to leave her behind. I would not want
that for her. "It's a choice you are no longer sure of
yourself, you know you can't be a pilot because of your
allergies." But if I could only be an airmen, it would
partially fulfill my dream. "No it wouldn't, you know that you
only dreamed of being a pilot in the Air Force." Yes I know.
"Then ask her if she likes you!" NO, you know how scared I get.
"I don't care, just do it."
"Erin, I think you are the most amazing girl in this universe,
I don't know if you know, but I have had a mad crush on you
ever since I first saw you in the play "Pollyanna". I don't
know if you share these feelings, so that's why I am asking
you. I'm a shy kid, and talking to girls has always been hard
for me. That is why I find it hard to say this. So here goes."
"Erin, do you like me? If you say no, then I shall find a way
to carry on. I want the truth, as it is, don't twist it or drag
it out. It is a simple yes no question. Don't feel sorry if the
answer is no, for that is what the answer is for me if I don't
"Well done" says my heart, "Now you shall have your answer"
But I sound like an idiot, my words are all over the place, is
that even a complete sentence? "Now is not the time to be
worried about grammar" It is too!! You know my passion for
grammar, I like to correct every book I read. "You think too
much, go to sleep" fine, maybe next week will be better? "Sure,
just ask the question though, stop stalling" gaaa! Ok, I'll