I tear myself up from the inside out at the mere mention of your name.

Leaves. Those brown, yellow and orange flecks of decaying plant matter whipped up by the restless autumn breeze. They seemed to watch. Always. Relentless. The balding tree was a newborn babe, being rocked by the nurturing wind. They glared. Angry. Upset. The mother gust slashed at my face, as if in punishment. The three storey buildings towered above. Bullying. Trapping. Clouds filled the air, distorting the sepia sky, producing patterns of misshapen creatures from a nightmare realm. The school seemed devoid of life beside myself, not that I contributed to the scene in any great resounding way. I stared glumly up at the lifeless gnarly grey limbs of the bare tree from a bench with peeling blue paint. Cobwebs snagged at my legs as I shifted moodily. I noticed an ant scuttle along the food stained pavement. It stopped, wary, protective. It was on a mission, and could waste no time, and so continued purposefully back on its way. Apart from the leafless grey limbs of the giant tree clawing at the clouds above, it seemed the only movement. I sat there, staring, long after the ant had fled back to the cover of the underside of a not quite square slab of concrete. The monotonous chime of the school bell buzzed quietly across the grounds. No one stirred, not for a long time. Not a soul moved, not a sound was to be heard bar the scuffling of crumbly dead leaves. Except for you. Except for you. You, in all your glorious beauty. With a face to launch a thousand ships, you glided elegantly across unworthy ground, covered only in cement when you should have had purple silk carpets of the finest quality. The aura of light, of kindness, and of joy, the aura of divinity, was evident from even this great distance. Your mischievous smile and gorgeous, glinting eyes filled my vision, igniting a furnace of passion deep within my tortured soul. My heart pumped lifeblood vigorously, feeding the fire, fanning the flames, spreading its warmth over every inch of my heaving chest, casting over my arms and legs, kicking out hard towards my groin. I began to sweat. A gross, sweet feeling of nausea passed over me. Agonizing fear flogged at my sprinkler back. The wind picked up again. It seemed somehow happy now, and licked at my face in a calming, soothing manner. I glanced up at the gnarled limbs and they smiled back at me. The world appeared to support, care for and love me, or at least this inferno blazing within me. The leaves danced in the soft, cool draft. I forced myself calm and sat up straight, waiting patiently for the grace of the heavens to fall upon me. You were much closer now, since rearranging myself. You glanced at me, momentarily, and after the quick perusal you turned away, disgust written in plain, clear letters upon your striking face. Moving towards one of the few patches of sun, you sit, your softly curved back towards me. I nodded in acceptance, the fire dying down to a puny candle as I faced the facts. My eyes remained alight, though with hot salty tears or passion, I do not know. Breathing became a challenge, the seconds weighed down upon me. Every moment caused me pain, as I remained, staring at your back. Every minute proved a challenge, fighting the urges to hold you, kiss you, and love you. I continued to stare, not noticing the incessant drone of the oncoming tidal wave of stupidity that was the mass student population of the school. I wished I could turn, turn away from the pain that you create, yet I dare not to. I wish, at least, I could turn away before those that name themselves as friends arrive and bombard me with questions as to why I’m staring. Still, I cannot. I feel a crack on the shoulder and turn furiously to face my attacker. He moved on, laughing at his own hilarity. I had not the willpower to resist, and turned back to gaze into the void of death, doom, pain and hate. The void of warmth, life, lust and love. I noticed your posse swoop down upon you from the left before my eyes met yours. You smiled, comfortingly, then were swallowed and gobbled by those you name as friends. But that smile. Why that smile? The fire rages again, with all its glorious love and pain. The twisted monochromatic tree shuddered in the breeze. Its rotting children danced beneath it. The clouds crept along the yellowish sky at the same snail pace. Everything remained the same. The tree, the sky, the leaves. The fire. I stare up at the tree, blankly, and sigh.

Jumping up with surprising velocity I made my way over to my friends, a grin plastered upon my face.