I remember the flashing lights, the screeching of brakes, and that thud upon impact. Falling to the ground broken, the lights fading away, been drowned by darkness and feeling icy cold, numb almost.
It was like every other Friday night walking home from the 6 o’clock dance class. Me and my boyfriend Greg hand in hand through the snow. We’d just had our last dance class of the year it was Christmas that Sunday, in the new year Greg and I were going to start taking master classes. I started taking ballet when I was four but I soon took an interest in ballroom as well, that’s why I took both classes. Greg had always being my partner, always. We were both gifted and talented destined for success but we were hopeless if we were without each other. I could not dance ballroom alone and he did not have the confidence to so much as speak to another girl. Bless him.
“Let’s go through the park I have something to show you” said Greg blushing.
I knew this was my Christmas present as I had seen the pink package in his gym bag earlier.
“Sure I have something for you too” I smiled knowingly.
He smiled back lovingly making me feel warm all over like drinking a hot chocolate on a winters day. I was only fourteen but I was head over heals in over in love, Greg was a year older than me but he loved me all the same.
We walked through the snow dusted park to our usual spot at the bandstand. We sat on the steps leading up to it as we had every Christmas for the last two years. Greg rummaged through his gym bag then he handed me the pink package. I read the label attached to it ‘ To Rita. May this keep you warm when I or Benny can’t. Love from Greg’. Benny is a very hairy Old English sheepdog. Greg was a hopeless romantic what can I say. I opened it carefully to find a pink scarf folded neatly at the center. I almost laughed at the irony of this.
“turn it over” Greg said
I turned it over the find two ballet shoes sewn neatly on the scarf underneath them was sewn “Rita” I could tell that the little angel had sewn this himself but if I asked him he’d tell me his Mum did it.
“thank you so much Greg I love it” I said hugging him.
He blushed embarrassed as always before embracing me back.
“I have something for you too” I said braking apart our embrace to grab my bag.
I pulled out the silver package and handed it to him I had not labeled it or anything because I had enough trouble wrapping (I can’t wrap for toffee). He unwrapped it revealing his own scarf that had brought him (see the irony now) dark blue like his eyes.
“ thank you” he said smiling at me making me feel all hot chocolaty like again.
Our eyes met and at the same instant we reached for each others scarves looped them around each others necks then tied them. Then he kissed me gently .
“What do you hope for?” he asked me after we broke apart.
He stared up at the starry sky waiting for my answer.
“I hope for us to be like this forever” I said surprisingly romantic. “how about you?”
he turned to face me and smiled “ I hope you dance Rita” he said.
“I don’t get it I already dance” I said confused
He grinned at me and stood up “You’ll get it eventually. But now we’ve got to get home or your Mum will kill me for dropping you off late”
I sighed and nodded. He helped me up both of us taking our bags and heading for the exit to the park near the main road. I’d always hated crossing that road night or day everyone drove so fast on it. Greg and I started to cross, me in front Greg just behind me.
I remember the flashing lights as the car came towards us. The screeching of brakes, Greg pushing me out the way, the car missing me by centimeters. The thud of the impact when the car hit Greg. Greg falling broken to the floor, me hitting the concrete. The darkness coming over me as I fell unconscious that cold felling. The numbness which I hoped would last forever.
I came round at the hospital calling for Greg hoping, praying he was still alive, but somewhere deep down in my heart I already knew he was dead. I didn’t need the nurse to pussy foot around me I didn’t need my parents to say they were sorry. I didn’t need Greg’s parents to tell me it wasn’t my fault because I already knew I’d never forgive myself. I needed Greg to be there, to hold my hand, to tell me everything was going to be alright but he wouldn’t be, he can’t be , he never will again because he’s gone and it’s all my fault.
I’d never being to a funeral, I hoped I never would, I really didn’t expect it to be Greg’s. I stood at his grave even after his mum had left knowing it should be me down there it should be me in the coffin not him. But he wouldn’t have wanted that, he wouldn’t have wanted me to be like this. I asked myself what would he want me to do now he was gone, and found my self smiling.
“I hope you dance Rita” he’d said.
He’d told me himself. He told me to dance, I understood now, he hoped I’d dance forever. Tears streamed down my face.
“I understand now Greg, can you hear me in heaven? You were right .I got it okay. I’m going to dance forever you big idiot. You just watch me” I shouted to the heavens.
Then I through off my coat doing the unbelievable, the unacceptable, with all of my heart, wearing a pink scarf with ballet shoes sewn on and with all the memories I had of Greg, in the middle of the graveyard at the foot of his grave, I danced

Inspired by the song I Hope You Dance by Lee Ann Womack / Ronan Keating.