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Without you, without me.

Short story By: Sex Kitten
Romance


Tags: Love, Break, Ups, Sad, Strong


You left, I fell, I shattered, I got up again.


Submitted:Feb 27, 2013    Reads: 191    Comments: 2    Likes: 1   


Sometimes I'll sit near the little window of my apartment, cuddling closer to the heater and shaking from the cold, looking far away into the distance at the dim street lights...Comparing them with myself. There's lots of them out there, standing close together and yet, each one strangely on it's own, all alone. And I start remembering everything that happened...Remembering yours and mine last conversation, how it seemed like life had lost it's meaning right there and then...


But you know what? You were right, I am strong and I did get right back up. I came home and crossed you out of my life... Too bad I did it with a pencil, and not with a black texter, hoping to one day erase the marks with the elastic.

You'll ask me why? Yes, I told everyone that it didn't matter, that none of it hurt and that I forgot, and yet it seemed strange how tight I held the phone in my tired hands... Maybe pride, maybe pain in thought of the memories unabled me to change everything... Even though I ached just to hear your voice... At everyone, absolutely everyone with no exceptions, I smiled; had fun and showed how much I loved my life. And only on a rare occassion when coming home, I tightly hugged that same old teddy...


And you...you were so close to me and yet, at the same time, such a stranger...
Because there's so much about me that you didn't know...
You didn't know my favourite candy or my favourite flowers, because you never gave me them...
You didn't know how I liked to be called, because you never bothered with sweet nicknames...
You didn't know what I was afraid of, because it didn't interest you...
You didn't watch my favourite movies with me and didn't see me cry like a little baby...
But I still loved you even through all that. Because I didn't love you for something, I just loved you for you. However life unfolds itself for each of us, I know that one day we will run into each other on the street, but I will be happy, with a smile on my face. And I will tell you THANK YOU. For the happiness you gave me and for the pain you caused me. Because all of that made me STRONGER!!! So thank you...

At that moment, I will wipe away all tears, smile and finally realise that everything will be okay.

I left...and you bought yourself a little puppy soon after. She's always under your feet, everywhere, but you're happy about it. You started hearing the hidden meaning behind the lyrics of the songs. Because they're all about me. And you often search for me with your eyes in crowds. Your heart starts beating faster when in big, big crowds you see a girl which looks remarkably like me. You never even had me. But your eyes still give you away each time we accidently run into each other… I left my soul with you. Now everything is easy. Easy, because inside I'm empty. Because my happiness is not in you, it's in the new dress Gucci.

…You often go on my facebook page.
…But it wasn't love, because you wouldn't walk away from love.
…Though you still want me to love you, even though you haven't got the guts to admit it to yourself.

…And you never understood...You never understood who I was, why I came and why I left...

…You burnt the only little bridge connecting us. You could have built a new one, but you never did...
I left. I don't regret a thing. But I will come back, very, very soon. Thin, sun-tanned and tired...Come back when I'll get tired of this boring, easy life. No...not after you...after my soul...

And what about you? You will never understand any of this...





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