Ace Baby at the
Ace Baby is called
Ace Baby because none of us can remember his name.He had just got
paid so he was rolling to South White Street.When he parked in
front of the dope house he pulled up next to the Magnolia tree
where three girl spiders were devouring a butterfly, divesting it
of its wings.He didn't notice. He was in too much of a hurry to
As Ace Baby left he
felt he wanted a party.
He saw three
schoolgirls in the driveway next door.They were ditching.It was
summer, so they had plenty of flesh going on.
He decided he could
handle three parties.He figured he could do it.It was a big
enough bag.He would, as they say, be up for it.All night if
As he was leaving,
Ace Baby made a mistake.He drifted to close.You couldn't blame
him.He was a man.He rolled down his window.
"I know where
there's a party ladies."
"Right here in my
Dreamer gave him
"It's too small a
party for the three of us," she laughed.
Dreamer's thing was
her boobs.They were, as many have put it, "ripe melons."
She stepped over
and coyly leaned down while examining his radio.
Dreamer should have
been a banker; she always made the most of her assets.They earned
her considerable interest.
The shadow now
revealed between her breasts suddenly grabbed his attention by
the throat. Her low cut top left little to his imagination.He
Shy Girl drifted
over to his opposite door and just stood. It was all she had to
do.Her ultra-low-cut jeans accentuated her hips.Her mother was
Greek, so she had hips imported straight from Venus.Not de
planet, de Milo.She was eating an apple.When her perfect white
teeth pierced its crimson skin, its juice squirted forth, and
dripped down its side.
closer, and Ace Baby couldn't help but now notice, her Sophia
Loren eyes and lips.She had somehow incorporated them into a
perfectly innocent face.What he couldn't see was her Buck knife
in her back pocket.When it came to the nitty-gritty, Lonely could
shove her knife.An innocent face, a Buck knife, a dangerous
If Ace Baby had
really given any of them a complete once-over, he might have
noticed their fire-engine-red toenails exposed through the holes
in their white tennies.But he didn't.He was too
His eyes had been
caught catching the highlights of sweet summer sweat dancing
across brown bodies.That's all he could think of.Then Lonely
"What were you
doin' over there?" pointing next door.
"This," he said
gleefully, holding up the bag.
Their eyes opened
wide in feigned excitement.They were good at feigned
"Where can we go?"
said Dreamer to all.
"To the Bronco,"
said Shygirl, "I know the desk clerk."
So they did.
In the room he had
difficulty opening the bag.
said, taking it from him, she bit it open with her teeth, then
wiped off the dresser with her sleeve, and dumped it out.
He crunched it up
using the edge of a credit card, then lined it up.They rolled up
a hundred dollar bill, which was only fitting for the occasion,
and secured its shape using the fold.
Each took a
"Now who's going to
be first?" said Lonely.
"Me," said Shygirl,
now looking at Ace Baby, "so get on the bed."
She stood at the
foot of the bed, Lonely and Dreamer on each side. She put her
thumbs on each side of her pants near the front, looping them
through the belt loops, letting her forefingers play with her top
brass button.A single ray of light escaping the drawn curtains
played upon it.The gleam of light off the metallic button stood
out against the dark blue of the cotton fabric. It focused his
attention so much that each time it glittered; he could see the
letter it hit.First it was the L, then the E, then the V, next
the I, then the S.He felt as if was watching a golden spark flash
from Flash Gordon's ray gun.
said, "he looks a little high."
She ought to know,
it was her brother who had served him the stuff.
"Now's the time for
you to take off your pants."
folded them carefully and placed them on a chair.
"Now comes our
game," Shygirl said, "You gotta close your eyes.Then we're gonna
take turns.You gotta keep 'em closed tight.Then afterwards you
gotta tell us who was who, just by feel, O.K.?No peeking,
This was a game he
was ready to play.He was ready to play it big time.
"Now be real quiet.
Maybe you can tell us by the way we sigh."
"Well girls," he
heard one voice say, "who's going first?"
So he closed his
eyes real tight, and opened his ears.He listened real careful
like, and was waiting to feel something.After a few seconds he
heard the click of the door.Then he just couldn't wait, so he
opened his eyes anyway.He looked both left and right.All three
were gone.He looked at the chair.So were his pants.
The girls arrived
home squealing with delight.Pops saw them rush into the
he told Moms.
About ten minutes
later, Mom's answered the door.A strange man was there wrapped in
a towel. So Pops did the interview.
When Pops entered
the girl'sbedroom they were on the floor laughing like hell,
around a pile of credit cards lying near a brown leather wallet,
and were already dividing up the spoils.They explained it
all.Stacks of green bills were distributed between them.He picked
up the wallet and cards, saying,
"These will only
get you into more trouble," and returned them to the man in the
towel.After he left, they all had a laugh, including Moms.
The next day the
girls returned to school wearing a new pair of tennis shoes each,
new Hello Kitty binders and notebooks, new Hello Kitty
pencils.They gave out bubblegum to everybody in class, creating
problems for the teachers.These girls were just bad.Maybe even
real bad, but not stupid.Not as stupid as Ace Baby that's for
sure. Oh yeah...Ace Baby...if you're reading this...welcome to