Me and Arthur Lee
had something in common. It was something we shared.I was proud
of it once but now I'm not so sure.It was a woman.Her name was
I met her at lunch
one day across the table.She was Marylyn's friend.They were both
art students, girl art students.What could be better?Not
Her mother owned a
Baskin Robbins ice cream store in La Jolla.To keep her out of
trouble in L.A's music scene she sent her to City College in San
Diego. Spoiled little rich girl Patty, always got what she
In addition to her
mother owning an ice-cream shop she was just plain fine. She
dressed sexy, like they do in downtown L.A.She had a decent
figure and red-platinum hair that she combined so well with her
o-so-long legs and her o-so-short crimson skirt that clings so
tight.Sometimes she wore boots.Boots be sooo sexy.
Too soon after
introductions the bell rang and we had to go to class.The last
thing she told me as we parted was,
"I'm Arthur Lee's
Groupie." That's what she said.
"Oh Wow." That's
what I said, trying to sound impressed.
I didn't even
know who he was.I'd heard the song Little Red Book on
the radio but didn't know any more than a group
calledLOVE had made it a hit. I didn't
know he was a genius.
Within three days
we were going out.She loved making out and was so practiced at
it she had me loving it, loving her, too.We'd make out in La
Jolla at her mom's house there beneath Mount Soledad.
One day her mom
came home early and interrupted what was going to be a first for
me. Patty was not to be deterred though.The next night she
"Come over now."
As I pulled up she
was standing outside in a fur coat that reached mid-thigh, and
the boots.She was damp, I thought from the dew on the
"She's cold. It's
cold out and damp. That's why she's wearing a coat."
But it was warm and
she was damp alright, but in a different sort of way.We took off
down the street.
"Make a left," she
I turned to go up
Mount Soledad.It has a view of the sea on one side, the city on
the other.The road was all
hairpin-switchback-uphill-straight-a-way-but-not-for-long. When I
leaned a little nearer I noticed her perfume.It was one of her
most dangerous weapons and it was at the ready.
She scooted closer
yet and whispered in my ear, 'I wanna give you something
special," all soft like.
We were about pass
by a vacant lot but she said,
There were few
vacant lots there on the mountain but she'd spotted it at once.It
was like she'd been there before or something.
I pulled off the
road, and faced the car overlooking the city.The streets below
were filled with a thousand multi-colored lights racing off
into the distance at breakneck speed.Then there were the tall
buildings of downtown.Behind that loomed the blackness of Mt.
San Miguel, and the mysterious shadows that only exist in
Mexico. Yes, I agree, it was romantic.
A single embrace,
her breath so close, a touch, and then a sigh. It was like
"Let's go to the
back seat," she suggested, "There's more room there."
In the back seat
she began to get intense, like she wanted something she had to
I thought at first it was a
new-improved squeeze, or an intimate term of endearment. That
must be what she wanted.Perhaps it was some more tongue.I was
wrong.It was something else.It was a good you-know-what.
I can't say exactly
what she did.But here's how she did it.
She started by
revealing secrets in my ear, revealing them real soft-like, real
sincere-like.When she told me what she wanted, how could I refuse
her?I couldn't.Not me.Off with her coat.Surprise!There was
So I had her.That's
when she became Queen Patty the First to me.Each man has his own
Queen Whoever, one and only one. I believe that may be how it is
with women too.
So in reality she
had me.It was a little of the ol' in, a little of the ol' out, a
little of the ol' in and out.Something happened to her when she
was beneath me.She had some sort of woman-quake, some sort of
major event. So impressed and nervous was I that I
didn't.Whatever happened to her was intense.I just couldn't put
my finger on it.Or maybe I could.
On the way home I
was in a good mood.I figured that somewhere somehow something had
made me a man, like I'd joined some kind of men's club.
"Glad to be here
boys," I felt like saying to them, "I finally made it."
Then I'd interlock
my fingers and hold my arms aloft pumping my fists like in
Rocky. They applauded.
I was laboring
under the illusion that I possessed complete and total self
control. Really I'd just been too nervous to relax.
thought, "This means I'll never have to wear a condom or look
only for girls who are on the pill again.Gee, ain't life
I figured this
ability would broaden my horizons, expand my vistas so to
speak.If you're going to labor under an illusion this was
certainly the one.If you were bound to be wrong-headed about
something this fit the bill.If you're going to be delusional
and wrong-headed at the same time at least be happy about it.So
But the next day I
had trouble getting hold of her. She had found me out.
She somehow became
more distant.Her calls, which had been frequent, became less
frequent, then infrequent, then not frequent, then not at all.I
tried for weeks to reconnect, you bet. Was I sad?You bet.But did
I ever get over it?You bet.
There was, you see,
that girl in philosophy class, Bonnie.
I wasn't dumb
enough not to know what medicine would fix me.I needed a second
one; a Numero Segundo.Someone to take number one off my mind
would do it. I needed a dose of Bonnie.And that is what I would
But like I said, me
and Arthur Lee, we shared Patty. When you were with Patty the
First it was almost like being inLove.
Red Book: written by Burt Baccarach.Arthur Lee made it his
written by Manfred Mann as was Do wah Diddy