Life had meandered to a standstill. My girl friend had dumped me for someone else and I had lost my job. Incidentally all of this happened at the sametime and I thought of Lisa as a bad luck mascot. As I sat on my bed figuring out my modus operandi and course of action to resuscitate my life, the front door bell rang. Peering through the eye hole, I caught a glimpse of my mother. Had she come to help me out? I thought so but what I got was a sermon on choosing bad women and the repurcussions it has. “Mom, I thought you had come to commiserate with me but instead you are here adding salt to my wounds.”
“ I knew it from the minute that I laid my eyes upon her that she was no good. Why look at it, the moment you lose your job, she walks out on you. Its lucky you did not marry her” she said to me.
“ Oh mother, I need no sermons right now. What I need is a little peace of mind and your support.”
My mother marched into my room and looked around. It was positively a mess. Lisa had taken her clothes out and dumped them into her suitcase. She had in the process of sorting her clothes from mine, dumped mine out onto the floor.
“What a mess?” she said. Of course it was an understatement.
In about an hour or slightly more, I had packed my suitcase with a few clothes, belts, perfumes, with shaving foam, aftershave, with a pair of shoes and joggers and other necessary items. Afterwards I locked the house up and dumped the suitcase into the rear of the Jaguar. As I drove my car following my mom to her house in Staines, London, I could not help feel like a lost young child going back to the comfortable protection of ones parents.
Though I was thirty five, it was definitely good to have someone to fall back upon in bad times. When I reached home, I found my dad perched on a leather recliner sitting in front of the fire place reading a newspaper. And as soon as I entered, he placed the newspaper on a side table and looked upto me from behind the spectacles he wore. He voiced his concern about my losing a job and asked me what had happened. Well he certainly didnt like what he heard about my losing my cool with my boss.
“Oh Roger ! I told you that your temper would lead you no where especially in your career”. I just looked the other way towards my mother who shook her head agreeing with what my dad had said.
“Now wheres Lisa, he asked me? Has she come along with you?” he asked me.
My mother spoke out telling him that she had decamped and left.
“Oh !” he said “But why ?” he asked me. And my mother interjected again and said “ Adam, what do you mean why? I told you that girl was no good !”.
“Oh stop it” I exclaimed positively annoyed. “Cant we not talk about me right now?” I said. And my father glared at my mother and told her to prepare some tea and sandwiches.
I sighed in relief as my mother left the room. My dad was quite understanding and he left me to my thoughts. For a while I was lost in my relationship with Lisa. It had not been the first. I had so many affairs that it was hard to count all of them. And all of them had ended with either me not liking the girl or the girl choosing to walk away. I had been down that road so many times. Was I immune to the pain that breakups bring? Sort of.
And so many friends of mine who had rocky relationships or failed ones would seek my advice and counsel. It was more as if they wanted a shoulder to lean upon and someone who could provide them with the empathy, the solace and support needed to become normal again. They would often tell me that I was very strong willed but little did they know about the unhappiness and sorrow that I felt about my relationships. And when I needed such support, I often tended to look my parents way.
I dont know why God plagued my heart with a romantic streak. Was it a blessing. No, I think it was a damn curse. Even when I was five years old I would develop crushes on different women many times my age. Of course they would wave it off and tell me how sweet I was. However when I grew up, I realized to my utmost horror that females are really complex creatures who are quite difficult to understand.
I was in high school, when I first developed a crush over a pretty young woman named Nancy. She was sixteen, with long brown hair, deep blue eyes and an amazing figure. And I had approached her only to have my advances spurned. I had even wrote her a poem and she had tore it apart. Later on I found out that she was dating some one much older than her.
Though I had felt hurt, I eventually got over it. I was eighteen and growing older. It was a year later that I had my first date with a girl from another section but of the same class. Her name was Linda. And though she was not beautiful but she had a wonderful personality. She was quite friendly and straight forward. We would spend a lot of time together going to the cinema, swimming, talking and visiting different places. Just as things were going well between us, she announced one day that her father had landed with a job in another city. And that she would be leaving the school. Though I did stay in touch with her for a while but things were never the same between us after that.
I was eighteen when when my dad bought me a pair of wheels; it was a red colored corvette. Because I had stood first in grade twelve at secondary school, my dad had given me a present that I would remember for a long time. And when I drove to college in it, a lot of heads turned about. I noticed that a lot of women and men who would not have cared two pence for me under normal circumstances, became lets say a little chummy because I had a nice set of wheels. I had never liked superficial people and therefore I chose to stay away from them.
It was during my first year at college that I befriended a red headed young woman who was quite beautiful. Her name was Margaret.Beauty has a strange way of captivating your heart, mind and soul. And it is strange how it enchants you. I could never really keep my eyes of her. However I was shocked to learn that she was not dating just me. Oh no ! She had a number of boy friends. I had been a little naïve perhaps in her eyes when I told her that I had not expected that from a lady. And well she looked my way as if I was half mad or something. It was at this point that we broke up. And I was once again bitten in love. I was like a boy who had just lost his favorite toy.
I hated that romantic streak within me and I prayed to God to cure me of it. With failed relationships, there is that element of depression that kicks in. And for a while I felt pretty blue. However I learned to let go and start fresh. I concentrated on my studies and did well during the first semester earning a GPA of 3.6. My parents were ecstatic.
It was in the middle of the second semester during my first year at college, that I made a friend named Steve who introduced me to a cousin of his named Shelley who was studying at high school. Looks wise she seemed to be good. However on our second date, she mentioned something about delving in the occult and calling upon spirits. She had a rather unnerving stare which scared me and that was the last time I met her.
Time passed by and I graduated with a Bachelors Degree in Business Administration with a GPA of 3.5. Then I took two months off before I joined a Masters Programme in Business Administration at a University in London.
During my first semester at the University, I was reunited with Linda. She was in the same batch as I. Though time had passed by swiftly, she looked the same. Though she was happy to see me but she had moved on and was now engaged to someone. Therefore things were not the same as they had been before but we remained in touch.
I then met a female student from Philiphines named Josephine. And we dated one another for a while till someone reported seeing her with another student from my class. And then I ran into both of them one day at a restaurant. It had pained me a lot and our relationship had ended there. By now I had been accustomed to my relationships failing.
It was after my second semester during first year at University, that I decided to take the Summer Semester off. I wanted time to rest and think about life. Somewhere deep within me there was an urge to seek God and so I started reading the Old Testament and the Holy Quran. I even started attending church. As I had time to spend, I started taking classes in Yoga.
Through meditation, I learn to relax. This was a time when I gave up listening to music, watching television and thinking about women. There had to be more to life than sex and women. At times I thought that men and women had become slaves; slaves to their lusts and desires. Each desire and lust, in my mind was essentially a tool presented by the Devil as bliss but their impact upon human character and life was quite devastating and disastrous. Each man and woman was led forth by desire. It was essentially in this frame of mind that I spent my free time.
Therefore during my spring semester, I realized that I was no longer interested in women as I used to be at one time in my life. And I was perhaps more geared towards studying and doing well at my studies. I had grown a little introvert and was less willing to socialize with men and women who thought that drinking beer and sex were the key ingredients to a happy life. They were all messed up. At least thats what I thought. It was with flying colors that I graduated from University.
Soon I landed with a job at a local bank and I was able to move into my own apartment and later able to buy my own car. I was doing very well. And thats when I ran into a pretty broad named Lisa who was working at the same place. It was perhaps two months down the road that we first dated one another. She had graduated from Oxford University and was pretty and witty. A month down the road, she moved into my apartment. On the weekend she would go over to her parents. At least thats what she said. It was on such weekend that I had decided to go over to a local restaurant that I actually saw her sitting with the Bank Manager in a secluded corner. They had been too busy to notice me. And I left the restaurant quietly. What was Lisa doing with the Bank Manager? I parked my car a little farther away from the restaurant and waited for both of them to come out. Once they had come out, I had tailed my bosses vehicle though quite careful to keep a sufficient distance. They had then alighted at a local hotel where I guess he had booked a room to spend the weekend with her. Deep inside, my heart had been shattered in two. I felt that I had been deceived and cheated.
I could not sleep that night. So intense was my feeling of pain that on Monday morning I had walked straight into the Bank Managers office and given him a piece of my mind. As I had walked out, I had called Lisa a bitch. And so here was I, out of a job. Yet another relationship had withered away into oblivion.
Though I got a job later on but I had vowed to stay clear of women.