The boy who eats my cookies is the one that I fell in love with.
One day, boy in kindergarten asked me if he can sit beside me and have a cookie. Before I can even nod, he lunged for my cookies and grabbed one.
“You’re such a boy!” I pouted, glaring at him. “Are your hands even clean?”
“Yah....” he says while he munches the cookie. “Does your mom bake the cookies?”
I laughed hard at his mouth swarmed with crumbs.
“What’s funny?” He also laughed.
“You have...... crumbs.....” I replied with both hands on my belly laughing really hard.
He immediately wiped is mouth with his hands and looked around the class room if any has seen him grubby.
“There all gone!” I said.
Now that he got what he wanted which is my cookie, I thought he’d be gone somewhere off before recess ends. Instead, he asks me, “Do you want me to punch the straw in your juice? It’s a bit tricky sometimes.”
“Yeah, I find it hard to put the straw sometimes.” I beamed.
He reached for my juice on my desk then he inserted the straw, “There you go!” he prided like superman.
“Thanks” I muttered.
“I you need help on some other things, just ask me, ‘kay?” He wiped his chocolate stained fingers in his khaki pants.
Since then, every recess he would sit beside my desk and asks if he can have a cookie. We became best friends till we entered college and now in the corporate world.
One day, he introduced to a girl whom he called a “girlfriend”. It didn’t bother me first for he had been single for a year now and I wanted him to be happy but this girl is different. Since she came into the picture, the calls, texts and meeting ups went down to almost zero per week and I’d thank God if he calls me to even say goodnight.
I was suddenly lonely for reasons I cannot describe. I want him to drop his girlfriend for me because I think we will have more joyful time taking photographs, eating on the street market or reading books without buying in a bookstore rather than him sitting on the couch smelling her hair!
I never thought of being jealous when an elderly woman said to me randomly, “Jealousy kills my young one.” I suddenly looked down on her stooped stature and asked out of awe of her wisdom, “How can you tell I’m jealous?”
“Your jealous because you’re not happy.” She replied simply.
Tears cloud my eyes and before I can ask her for more insights she was gone.
Okay I admit it, I’m jealous of that girl. I should be the one sitting in the couch with him smelling my hair
I should be the one kissing him before he goes for work
I should be the one texting him to drive home safely
I should be the one surprising him on his office with a cup of coffee in my hand
I should be the one posting sticky notes because he’s bad at remembering dates
I should be the one cooking for him whenever he feels down
And lastly I should be the one he falls in love with.
I hated that girlfriend for she made my life complicated with my bestfriend.
I am the bestfriend with nothing left to do but to accept the fact he will never fall for me. Time went by and he had another girlfriend after that one, then another, and then another that I lost track already. I wanted to tell him so bad how my heart aches whenever he has to pick up the pieces of his heart when all along I’m here waiting to be recognized I’m the one he needs.
I am a coward that I eventually turned my attention at my work, hoping that stress can fill up the loneliness I felt. It was at work I met a lawyer, handsome, established and charming. Women in our department did insane stuff for him to ask them out but instead he asked me out.
“Why me?” I asked over dinner. He shouldn’t be here with me in a nice, cozy restaurant. I’m the woman a man brings along to a fast food, orders fries then eats at his car.
“You’re not like the others.” He replied with a teasing smile.
I only huffed at him, “I suppose you already said that to other girls?”
“Yes but this time I meant it.”
Months have passed, dating him there and here and he became my boyfriend. Though I don’t feel any spark, it was better to have a man wrapped in my fingertips than to be a lonely lady.
“You don’t like him,” my bestfriend, the one who eats my cookies accused me with a clenched fist and throbbing veins in his neck. He was mad I introduced him to my very handsome, established and charming lawyer boyfriend. Is he jealous? I can only hope so.
“I like him,” I can only reply with a wink.
He didn’t find the humour I intended.
“It’s infatuation,” he came nearer to me then, “Trust me, I won’t be telling you this if I see spark in your eyes and I don’t.”
“And I suppose you know what you’re talking about since you have, what a dozen ex-girlfriends? Why can’t you be happy for me like I was when you’re in love?”
“You weren’t happy when I was in love!”
My eyes shed tears, I wanted to admit to him that I only dated the guy because I want him to be jealous! But I couldn’t admit to him, I’m a coward, remember? The night ended with him apologizing until I shut the door in front of his face.
Weeks and months drag on with no communication, my lawyer boyfriend asked me to marry him. Stupid of me but I said yes though I wanted my bestfriend to be my groom.
I know he still hates me but I want him to see the biggest mistake I will make in my life when he didn’t fell in love with me in the first place.
I personally sent the invitation to his apartment and prayed he’d show up at the church with bearings of blessing for me and my fiancé.
The day of the wedding arrived and I see no sign of him in the church on in ht reception. I may be dead in pure anger at him. My bestfriend didn’t show up at my wedding? What a lame friend he is!
The wedding day ended and I called him at his home but I got no answer. The next day, I went to his place and knocked on the door as hard as I could.
“Open up jerk!” I yelled as I banged the door. I am so pissed at him for the longest time in our friendship.
A toothless man went out of his unit and asked me, “You know that guy?”
“Yes,” I reply, ashamed of my unfitting behaviour.
“The man died yesterday.”
Die? This toothless man is not funny.
He noticed my unfathomable face and said, “The poor man hurried to get on a wedding I think but he got hit by a truck in front of this building.” The man shook his head in misery, “The man has been lonely for months now, I don’t know what bothering him.”
“It was my wedding yesterday,” I uttered. My mind cannot comprehend that my best friend, the one who eats my cookies died? It can’t be, no!
“I’m sorry for your loss.”
My vision became blurred with tears I guess then I felt slowly falling unto the ground with the man that looked like screaming but I can’t hear any sound. Is this dying? Is this how he felt?