I can’t believe it, she isn’t mine anymore. All that time we spent together. All the time we spent in the pizzeria together. All the walks home protecting her from the other guys. When the one man I need to protect her from was following us all along. I sat in my room throwing the baseball up and down while lying on my bed. There was no way, I snapped my eyes closed, she couldn’t have left me. Not because of what I did, it’s just not fair. I started to think of when it all started, when she began to slip away.
I walked to my locker and on the way I got several shouts and hollers from those who caught a piece of the last varsity baseball game. I smiled and nodded my head acknowledging everyone who said my name. I got my stuff and then went to her locker and waited for her to get back from doing extra credit with her math teacher. When she was finally in view I ran up to her, scooped her into my arms and made her smile and begin to giggle.
“Hey you,” I said smiling from ear to ear. “How is my sweet girlfriend Kathy doing this fine morning?” She was still giggling, always with a smile on her face.
“Well, my amazing boyfriend Adam, I am just fine now that I am with you.” I kissed her sweetly and put her down intertwining their fingers. Just as we got to her locker, Peter ran up to us.
“HEY!” He shouted loud enough to make her jump. “Man, I’m so tired I was up all night at band practice.” He yawned.
“Then get more sleep then,” Kathy said laughing. I stood there while they talked and had a whole conversation… without me. I turned and went to class and just away from it all. I knew I had problems with jealously but I never thought I could be jealous of my best friend and my girlfriend.
After school Kathy and I went to a pizzeria. I always got pepperoni and she always got pineapples on her one slice. I tried to convince her to get more than one slice but she rarely listened.
“So why do you choose a guy like me?” I asked her really curious. “I mean, I am always jealous.”
“The better question is why date me? Why waste two years of your like on me? I am stupid and ugly…” Kathy replied.
“No stop, you’re a great beautiful girl and you’re in the top three of your class so don’t even give me that stuff about your stupid.” He previous boyfriends left her a little broken and broke down her self esteem more than you could tell by looking at her. She smiled at me.
On the way out we passed a homeless woman. I tried to just walk past her but Kathy wouldn’t hear of it. She ran inside got a slice and a water and handed it to the woman with a smile. I walked her home and then I went back to my house.
The next day things started to change. When I started towards Kathy’s locker peter and Kathy were standing there already talking, I told myself it was nothing and just walked up slowly. Peter turned and smiled at me.
“Hey Peter, hey Kathy.” I said suspiciously. Kathy gave me a death stare, got her stuff and stormed off. “Kathy! What’s wrong?!” I started to go after her but she turned and corner and shouted to leave her alone. I started to follow like I did every time to cheer her up like I always did, but peter held me back then ran after her himself. This sparked the jealously that could burn bridges… and it would.
The similar pattern happened the next day.
And the next day.
And the next… Until finally I couldn’t take the pain anymore. I decided to go confront Peter. I walked to his apartment two days into winter vacation. Supposedly Kathy was in Florida and Peter was supposed to be home. I knocked on his apartment door and heard a girl crying on the other side. A cry I had heard before. I wanted to bust in, then the sobs morphed into laughter. I knocked on the door.
“That pizza is more than thirty minutes late, its free!” Peter shouted out the door before opening it. As the door creaked open and he peeked out he saw me and quickly tried to close the door when he saw me but I pushed it open. There she was curled up on the sofa in his sweatshirt. Kathy looked like a deer in the headlights.
“Oh my gosh,” Kathy got up and came over to me. “I swear this isn’t what it looks like!” She was in sweats.
“I take back everything I said! You are the most hideous creature I have ever laid eyes on! I wish I never met you. I wish you weren’t ever in my life. Oh and you’re huge by the way. I don’t know why I ever dated you.” I said quickly, before she could get a word in.
“I don’t regret a thing.” Kathy replied with a single tear rolling down her cheer. She ran out of the apartment with nothing on but a shirt, shorts, and flip-flops. Peter quickly grabbed his sweater and jacket in the other and started to run after her when I stopped him.
“She cheated on me with some want be rock star and she doesn’t even regret it! She deserves being a little cold.” I smirked… then there was a smash outside.
“Oh god!” I ran after Peter and once we were outside we could see the smoke and my instinct took over. I dashed toward the cloud of thick black smog and came across a mangled car... Kathy’s little blue corvette. A sixteen wheeler smashed into the car head on and she unconscious with the air bags deployed inside. I screamed and ran to the car.
“Baby no,” hollered. Peter grabbed me and held me back as the car caught fire. I began to sob and watch, praying as the ambulance arrived.
In the waiting room at the ICU Peter and I sat in silence. Then the nurse brought us the news, she was gone. Turned to him and cried. “I don’t care if she was a cheater… She was mine, we all make mistakes.” I said.
“Shut up! Stop dragging her name through the dirt! You think that girl would ever do that to you? She wanted to marry you after high school.” I opened my mouth to argue but he cut me off. “She loved you with all her heart she…”
“Do you want to feel really bad right now?” Peter asked me softly. “Because I’m done lying.” I nodded. “We have been hanging out because she was trying to get some space. But today she said she realized she didn’t need any more space, she was ready.”
“Ready for what?” I asked Peter
“Ready to be a mom, she was pregnant…”
I can’t believe it, she isn’t mine anymore. All that time we spent together. All the time we spent in the pizzeria together. All the walks home protecting her from the other guys. When the one man I need to protect her from was following us all along. I sat in my room throwing the baseball up and down while lying on my bed. There was no way, I snapped my eyes closed, she couldn’t have left me. Not because of what I did, it’s just not fair.