She strolled through the corridor with hesitant steps filled with an uncertain determination which was compelling her to go through this. She was not supposed to do this. She knew in every bit of her head that she was taking big risk that was necessary because her heart won't let her live, if she was not dead already if she would not do what she was doing.
''Xena!'' a female voice called her from behind.
She stood frozen at her place and her heart picked up pace going like a wild animal. She closed her eyes as she heard footsteps approaching her.
A black haired lady with short height and apparent grace usually not found in a woman striking middle age came from behind and stood in front of her and glared her with a visible bossy attitude.
''Where are you going at this late hour?'' she asked, suspicion filled her tone.
Xena was having a hard time levelling her gaze to her. But still using whatever guts she could manage she tried her level best to lie. ''I was not able to sleep so I thought of having a little stroll in the garden, mother.'' She was not that bad liar after all.
But her mother was not that stupid either, at least not stupid enough to believe her daughter who could be listed in the world's top twenty worst liars. She crossed her thin hands over her chest and pointed, ''The garden is the other way around, sweetheart.''
Xena bit her lip and cursed herself under her breath.
''Where are you going, Xena?'' her mother asked again. And this time she made it clear in her tone that she was intending to listen to truth and only truth.
Xena did not need better persuasion and decided to give up on lying. This time she looked up at her mother who held a very stern gaze at her and sighed. ''I was going to see him,'' she confessed looking down again.
''Are you crazy, Xena?'' her mother roared, grabbing her arm. ''That guy is so much harmful then you can ever imagine. He is not a good guy and you are getting married tomorrow. And-''
''I have to do this, mother.'' This was the first time in life when she dared to interrupt her all-too-bossy mother.
She shook her by arm. ''Xena, you don't owe him anything. So don't do this.''
Xena looked into her eyes with tears that had started to form in her eyes. ''I owe this to myself, mother.''
Her mother's grasp loosened on her arm and finally fell as her senses came to realize what her daughter admitted.
''Do you still love him?'' she asked, her voice seeped with plain horror.
Xena felt liquid filling in her throat and swelling it.
Her silence gave the answer to her mother's question. ''You still love him.'' She was shocked beyond measures.
Xena gulped the liquid down and finding her voice she stated, ''I never stopped loving him and never will.''
Speaking the truth paid her extremely as she was received with a slap on her face which made the water to set loose and cross the boundaries of her eyes.
''Don't you dare to say this ever again,'' her mother shouted at her. ''You are not supposed to be in love with him. You listen to me, he is not a good person.''
''But I love him mother,'' she said wiping the tears off her face.
Her mother clasped her arm again and started to drag her back. ''You are coming back with me. And you are forbidden to see him ever in your life.''
Xena pushed her away taking her arm out of her hands. ''No. I am going to see him,'' she bellowed at her mother.
Her mother gaped at her. She was not able to believe that her daughter had dared to raise her voice in front of her. ''Xena!''
''I am sorry, mother. But I have to see him once before cursing myself to depths of misery. I at least deserve that much happiness.''
Her mother took a step close to her. ''If you won't get married to Alden tomorrow you better consider you were born without a family, young lady,'' she said and left.
Xena placed her hands on her face and started another round of crying till her tear ducts went dry.
She knocked on the door lightly twice then waited. Her heart leaped inside her bosom when she heard footstep approaching the door.
After the sound of turning of the door knob, finally the door opened. And in the doorway stood the person she swore she could take a bullet through her head for but the time was being so cruel to her that the person she had loved so much that her entire existence dependent on it, she was hurting him to the core. And she could not do anything to stop herself from doing it.
She stared at him for time infinite then finally spoke his name. ''Alibi,'' she gasped.
Her heart murmured awfully when his eyes lit up and a beautiful smile spread on his lips.
He grabbed her arm and pulled her inside then leaning in her direction he wrapped his arms around her shoulders taking her into an embrace. ''I missed you so much,'' he declared.
She blinked her eyes and it took almost the life out of her to stop the tears escaping her eyes.
She had wanted to give into the warm touch of his body and wrap her arms around him but she stayed rigid at her place. Because she was chained in iron and bound to refrain herself from the only happiness she had ever wished for.
He pulled away from her and giving her a long intent glance he took her face in his hands. ''I am so glad that you came. If you won't have I swear I would have died.''
She felt something snap inside of her. But she had not come tonight to save him. The only reason of her arrival was the self preservation she was endowed with. If she would not have com tonight it would be real death knocking her out of breath and snatching even the dead body she was going to live with for the miserable life ahead.
He took her by the arm and dragged her to the bed and made her sit next to himself.
She just kept a firm gaze on his face but did not speak anything.
He was staring at her face with an intensity so strong that it was tampering with beat of her heart.
He raised his hand to her face and with a gentle movement he tucked her hairs behind her ear sending a severe electric current down her spine.
Her stomach had a lot of butterflies fluttering the same instant with an unbearable pain that was breaking her heart in the same moment.
''I love you, Xena,'' he said grasping her shoulders. Then suddenly he leaned towards her, his hands still held her flesh and slowly moved to kiss her lips with his.
Her heart picked up pace with the anticipation but something made her turn away making him halt in the way.
''Don't do this to yourself, Xena,'' he whispered closing his eyes.
She forced the air in through her nostrils. ''I have to do this, Alibi,'' she said, her voice shaky and unsure. Everything was hurting her at this moment making her die thousand deaths in each second.
''Stop doing this to yourself,'' he groaned. She did not speak in response. Her silence was just providing more fuel to his anger. He got up on his feet and shouted, ''Don't kill yourself. Aren't you satisfied with ending my life?''
She looked down and clutched the sheet on the bed, unbearable hurt was brimming her forming water layer in her eyes.
Hurt had clutched him as well and saying that he was losing his temper under the spell of that hurt would be an understatement, it was more like his personal demons that could ruin him were being summoned from hell.
He grabbed her shoulders and pushed her on the bed.
It all happened too fast for her to realise what was happening. But when he climbed on top of her and pinned her both hands above her head with one hand and used the other to grab her face, her breath stuck in her throat and horror made its way in her features.
Before she could say anything to agitate, he silenced her by crushing his lips against hers.
She tried to push him off but her strength was pure negligible compared to his. Her efforts were all going waste.
He did not leave her mouth until they both were suffocating. And when he left she used the opportunity and started screaming. ''Don't do this, Alibi. Please don't do this.''
He looked at her for a second then muffled her cries by covering her mouth with her hand. And then he pressed his lips against her jaws then wildly brushed his lips downwards reaching towards her neck.
She closed her eyes tightly and another scream started to rise in her throat.
He planted a final kiss on her collar bone then he managed to unbutton her blouse using his hand that was covering her mouth and she wailed, ''No! No! No! Please don't.''
But it did not affect him at all. He pushed the fabric on sides exposing her beautiful skin translucent under her flimsy garment.
He gasped taking a sharp breath in. His eyes were glued to her delicate stature.
She realized the look in his eyes and her throat went dry in a fear so strong that it threatened to kill her. ''Alibi, you can't do this.'' Her voice was not audible to her own ears, it felt as if she was imagining herself speak.
He raised his hand to her face and again covered her mouth with it.
Her eyes had started to turn heavy and she shut them tight because she knew she won't be able to go through what was coming next with her eyes on the person she had never expected such thing from.
She had given in but when his lips started to make their way towards her bosom she could not stop herself from revolting and using every ounce of her strength she tried to push him away by forcing her body up but could not hold it for long and finally fall back in a limp. And the tears she had been fighting with till now breaking all the boundaries rushed down her eyes.
Her effort did not push him off her but suddenly his lips stopped their movement.
She opened her teared up eyes to find him staring at her with unfathomable expressions.
He slowly took his hand off her mouth and then climbed off her. ''I am sorry. I guess I died with some unfilled desires,'' he said with a burning shame and regret in his tone.
Her ears perceived his words correct but she could not believe it at first and it took her few seconds to realise what had happened and when she did she sat up and stopped him from leaving by grabbing his arm.
''Don't leave, please.'' She spoke softly looking down at the floor. He was not planning on staying, not after what he had attempted to do with her, obviously the guilt was killing him inside out but he did not have in him to avoid her humble wish like that especially one that provided him more time with her.
He turned and occupied the seat next to her on the bed. His eyes never leaving her face that had tears gushing down all over again. He sighed then raised his hand to her and wrapped it securely around her shoulder.
She looked at his face, and a knowing pain hurt her that the behaviour he had recently exhibited was nothing but a product of the mistakes she had made. And it must have taken a lot of pain to generate so much of desperation that had turned her good man into evil even for few minutes it had been. Another sob started to rise in her throat and his pain started to burn her, the pain she had purposely put him through.
He gently pulled her closer to himself and wrapped both his hands around her waist.
She felt the pain so unbearable started to burn her out alive. Her heart was being sliced into pieces and she was literally dying many deaths in each pasisng second. She looked up at him into his eyes and the pain to the extent which surely had the tendency in it to kill him was clear in them decieving him so quietly for the first time. Her heart was crumbled and shattered into pieces. She took a sharp breath in pushing all her tears back.
She pushed his hands off her wasit and threw him back using both her hands. Her strength was not enough but his shock provided her support and he fell back on bed. His eyes staring at her in great appall. Fury and pain had clutched her and she had decided that it was better to behave like a maniac then some stupid civilised princess.
She got on top of him and started to pull up her undershirt with both her hands. He gripped both her wrists using his hands making her stop. "Xena!" Saying he was shocked was an understatement.
Another stream of water started to escape the boundaries of her eyes. "I want this," she said, her voice was rough and shaky.
"No, you don't,'' he whispered shaking his head. "You never want to hurt your parents like that."
She looked away from him and mumbled, "I want this."
He smiled a broken smile then taking both her wrists in one he used his other hand to brush her hairs covering her face. "You are a good girl, Xena. You can't break their trust."
She leaned in his direction and furiously without providing him any caution she crushed her lips to his putting all her fury and anger in that kiss.
He could have pushed her away but he knew this would only hurt her more and the last thing he wanted to witness right now was seeing her getting her more hurt. He let her kiss him till she desired.
Soon she was out of breath and had to pull away. She stared at him her taered eyes fixed on his. He left her wrists and placing his hands around her back he pulled her to himself. Her head rested on her shoulder. "Hush, baby sleep now."
She was so exhausted that she did not struggle anymore and decided to give in his warmth and soon she fell asleep in the arms of her persnol angel.