Heaven may hold a grudge against you, friends may hold a grudge against you, even you may.
But I'll forgive you.
Most people hide themselves behind masks. Some are metal, some are plastic, some are cloth. And still yet there are others that can hide behind nothing simpler than a smile. Regardless of the visage chosen, it is a mask - it is a lie.
I've worn many in my lifetime and still I draw lines on my face as if they could somehow change the disposition of my heart, my soul. But you know well that they never will. So, despite our arguments, I cannot condemn someone who wears a mask. I've seen too much to judge anyone; I've lived too long to hold grudges.
You only wanted what we all want; the most elusive and dangerous thing in the world: happiness. And again, I find that I cannot condemn someone that chases after it; it is too much a temptation to resist. Few take your path and even fewer do it with your zeal; yet, you brought so much good to this world that you refuse to see.
You didn't want me to write this; you knew what I would say. You
wanted to stay consumed in your dark world, your sadness, your
anger, your pain. I know, I've been in that world too. But you
deserve redemption - we all do. You deserve to see what goodness
rested in your heart, what bright world exists beyond your
self-satisfying induced hell.
Maybe my words can't reach you, but they must be said and I fear that mine is the only voice that will speak them.