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Meeting Otis (Revise)

By: Michael Marie

Page 1, This is a book my best friend and I are begining to write. The storyline is about a group of young adults in New York that happen come across an elevator that can travel into multiple dimensions and more importantly take them to their hearts greatest desire, depending who pushes the button. In this particular scene our main female protagonist is standing in front of the elevator for the first time and has a supernatural experience. This is the revised version of my earlier submission. Please feel free to leave any, gentle :), constructive criticism. Thanks.

They stood in front of the primal gate and the smell of rust and oil seemed to permeate the lining of their noses until the metallic taste of rust filled their mouths.  At once, a cold chill ran through Dustin but it wasn’t just a chill.  It was something tangible, a vibration that began at the core of her.  But it was as if the epicenter were not in her body but in her very soul.  Dustin felt accosted, as if standing in front this archaic capsule she could feel it had its very own energy rocking her from inside.  The vibration grew, blurring her vision, making her feel queasy.   Wave after nauseating wave rolled over and through her.   The light began to fade and blackness began to surround her.  Her vision was distorted like looking through rain on a window.  She looked at Jaxon and he seemed to be off kilter.    The world ahead of her rocked ever so slightly.  Like a metronome rocking to the slowest beat until the tunnel closed in around him and there was complete darkness.  Her eyes were failing her.   The muffled whomp whomp whomp in her ears was deafening and drowned the rest of the world away.  She felt as if she were sinking, slipping away.  Her chest felt paralyzed and refused to obey the command to breath.  Pulled deeper and deeper into an unfamiliar abyss, she wanted to scream but nothing in her body would work.  And then without warning a bright light appeared ahead. 

It was as small as a pinpoint but grew as if it were coming closer. It seemed to expand quickly, making her jump, . But it grew larger and strangely enough warmer.  She was in a void and the only thing that existed was the light.  She could almost make out what appeared to be illuminated beings.  Their lucent glow seemed to draw her in.  The overwhelming sensation of love grew until it was palpable.  It began to beckon her and she welcomed it.  Surely in the light she could breath.  It was healing.  She felt the heat on her face like the sun on a warm spring day.  She didn’t care where she was, who she was, or if she was even breathing.  She wanted to surround herself in it.  Bathe in the light, let its warmth wash over her.  She wanted it to be a part of her, so that she and the light could be one.  But something from even deeper inside, told her to beware of the symbiotic relationship she yearned for now.  But she didn’t care, she wanted it.  If she could just touch it maybe she could satisfy this need for it and then find her way back from wherever she was now; back to the world she remembered.  Her hand was stretched out so close to it she could feel the heat but it didn’t burn.  Light blue flames ignited her fingertips as she stared in amazement . . .

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