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Archibald & Jamelia: Maluji's Master Scheme

Novel By: Idgo
Science fiction



Archibald Nugget, the vampire millionaire, explores the galaxy with his cowardly servant Jamelia Soggybottom. Unfortunately they almost instantly experience a malfunction and crash land on a planet that hasn\'t yet discovered space travel. To their dismay, their only hope of leaving is by trusting a creepy stalker-like citizen of the planet and a crackpot quantum engineer. Let\'s hope it all goes as planned. View table of contents...


Chapters:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18

Submitted:Mar 5, 2013    Reads: 3    Comments: 0    Likes: 0   


Melvin Mayonnaise was the plump mayor of Cambitsville. He wore a tweed suit with a beige tartan pattern on it, and his black shoes were slightly dusty, and didn't shine. Thin rimmed glasses in the shape of half-moons were perched upon his splodgy nose and his blonde thinning hair was combed neatly. He was scribbling away at an important document with his sausage fingers when his secretary burst in.

"Lord Mayor! Lord Mayor!" she called, hurrying forwards on extremely high heeled shoes. Her name was Martina Belcher, and she was a cat person...quite literally. She had the button nose and whiskers of a feline, and from her bright red hair two cat ears poked out. Her eyes were a bright yellow that seemed to glow, both in the dark and when it was light. Her body was covered in a thin layer of dark grey fur. From the back of her tight trousers an extra hole was cut to make room for her long, bushy tail which curled up behind her like a furry snake.

"What the...Martina? What is this ruckuss about?" exclaimed the mayor.

"There's an angry vampire that wants to complain to you!" Martina Belcher trilled, checking her tomato-red hair to make sure it was still in a tight bun on the back of her head.

"Angry vampire...son of a bean!" hissed Mayonnaise, his eyes widening in fear. "Then call security! I don't have time to-"

"I did call security," explained Martina. "He just ignored them. I believe the 'no man-handling' policy isn't as effective as we thought it would be-"

Martina was cut off in mid-sentence when Archibald stormed into the office and shoved her aside, with Jessabelle skipping behind him, humming a cheery nursery-rhyme.

"Um...uh..." stammered Mayonnaise. He couldn't keep his eyes off the horrible glare from the mysterious vampire; the enraged red eyes, the bared fangs as sharp as a wolf's, the way he leaned in close to the mayor's face. "What, um...what is the problem?" asked the mayor in a barely audible whisper, and slowly he lifted his hands up to protect himself from what may come next.

"If you really must know," snapped Archibald, "I crashed my brand new ship here yesterday and the engines are broken so I came to find new ones but nobody even understands the concept of mechanics except for one guy who lives in the clock tower and is an absolute loony and then there was an inn that didn't even clean up after the customers and my servant disappeared last night and it's far too sunny for my liking," shouted Archibald. "And she won't leave me alone!" he added, gesturing towards Jessabelle who smiled politely to the mayor.

It took a while for Mayonnaise to comprehend what he was just told, until Martina Belcher whispered something into his ear, and the mayor replied, "Sorry, but I'm not responsible for tourists."

Archibald felt a searing hot anger bubble up inside him. "What in the name of Harlacus makes you think I'm a flooping tourist?!" he bellowed. "You're the MAYOR! You must do something to repair my ship! At LEAST get my servant back for me, I haven't the faintest idea on Nonotron where the bean he could be!!" The mayor didn't seem to be interested anymore though, and was whispering something to Martina, and she whispered something back. This carried on for a while until Archibald sighed and said, "I can pay you."

Instantly the two of them looked at him with great interest. "Really? Hm...how much?"

Archibald reached into his pocket and took out a few bank notes. "Um...one, two...two thousand pounds?" he queeried. Both the cat woman and the mayor's jaws dropped like anchors. "No?" Archibald said, mistaking their reaction as a decline. "How about five thousand? I can't go more than eight thousand, though."

"No!" gasped the mayor. "No, no, sir, that's fine, um...we'll, uh, we'll assist you in any way we...um, we can..." Mayonnaise trailed off, he was still gawping at the wad of cash Archibald was holding. "Yes. We'll help you in any way we can."





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