My world is filled with magic. It always has been. I can't remember being young, but I know it must have been like this then too. Now however, my world is wonderful. Sometimes I dread falling asleep knowing that my current playground will disappear. Then I awake and find a new wonderland to explore. I could never in my life recall all the places I've been. There are just too many.
One that I remember very clearly was a large forest. It had lakes and waterfalls, hidden caves. Just about everything you could imagine. It had animals too. Some seemed average, normal, but others were fantastic and surreal. One was a small cat-like creature with short sharp horns and glowing blue eyes. Its coat was the most wondrous shade of red. It was so vibrant.
I didn't want to sleep at all in that place. I kept running through frigid rivers and diving into icy lakes to rouse myself. There was too much beauty to want to leave. Even some of the trees stood out in my memories. There was one that had gorgeous blue blossoms. I would love to know what blooms from them. It may just be normal leaves, but perhaps it was a sweet unknown fruit.
Another world that I cannot forget was very different. I was confined to a very small world, which does not happen too often. In that room there was a dresser like object. It had many drawers, but none were filled with clothes. Each drawer contained amazing things, some that I had never seen. I took great joy in pulling out the objects and spreading them over the floor, shifting through them to find the ones I liked best.
I had many favorites as everything seemed breathtaking to me. There was a small porcelain doll so life-like that I felt the urge to smash it, so that it would not wake up and attack me. Something was sown out of silk that, despite staring at it, I had no name for. The design in it was that of a young child sitting in a wooden rocking chair. She held a big grin as she stared at me from the cloth.
I remember there was also a tiny bracelet that would not fit my wrist. Seemingly made for an infant, the bracelet had prefect little charms on it. They resembled many different things. It seemed to shine no matter where I held it as though the light came from within the bracelet itself. I wanted so desperately to wear it as it had an unparallelled elegance, but my wrist was far too big.
Another object that caught my fancy was a small bottle containing an even tinier ship. The entire bottle fit snugly in just one of my hands. Looking at the miniscule boat, I knew it must have taken great time to construct. It was lovely in every way. I doubt a ship truly existed of this caliber. Everything about it was delicate, yet it looked sturdy and firm.
I also found a pair of boots made of soft and luscious fur. They were exactly my size, so I wore them happily. The book entitled Black Fantasia drew me in immediately. After reading a little I didn't want to stop. Of course I had to as my time in this world was limited, but I did skim through it fascinated. I still remember many of the romanticized words written in those pages.
The delicate intimacy of peace... Silver moonbeams colored the vibrant grass... Entwined with the legacy of all unfounded pain... The gentle winds of new time blew through the silent hills as though longing for the time when humanity was benevolent and generous... I wish more than anything I had been able to read to entire book as the words inside it were all softly crafted to meld together in a harmony unknown to me.
One of the objects I liked best was a small box. It took quite some time to figure out how to open it. I had to say the words, "I wish to see what you contain," into a small opening no bigger than a pin head. After I did, it opened and a small light floated out. Music also began to echo through that empty room. I held my ear closer to the box only to discover the music actually came from the glowing entity.
When I reached out a quivering hand toward it, it glided to me. The way it hovered was graceful and charming. The music changed from a sad étude to a chipper and sweetly melodious tune. Silly as it seems, I missed the aching loneliness that the first song had shown. While I was lost in the mysteriousness of this creature's existence, it pressed itself against my still outstretched hand.
The moment it made contact I felt an odd mix of conflicting emotions. I was joyous, but agony lingered under the surface. The illumination was soft and surprisingly cool to the touch. After an exciting moment of enjoying its touch, the spark sank into my hand seemingly being absorbed. My heart warmed as a memory played before my eyes.
It was a wedding. Two young people were being married. They looked utterly happy and in love. Soon the memory had passed before my eyes and gone. Inside the box was a wedding band and a small black and white photo. I easily recognized them as the two from the memory. The light had been nothing but a memory left behind by someone greatly in love. I wished that I had been able to save it a show it to someone else, but I had no one to show it to anyway.
Another place I went to was very strange. It was open, but looked very closed off. There were no distinct shapes or objects. It was a world filled with color and sound. The more I wandered, the more I wanted to stay. Colors existed in this world that I did not know. I cannot describe them very well either. One was something shockingly darker than black, but it was vivid and colored. It can't be called purple either though. Another was lighter than white, but it was gorgeously vibrant.
The sounds that cascaded across this world were also filled with eloquence. Sometimes words found my deprived ears. Others times I heard graceful music hitting notes that seemed impossible. Many of the things I heard were merely sounds. Most of them I could not decipher. They all were enchanting without doubt. I could even see the words and noises on occasion.
At one point, I reached out with all my might and caught it one my hand. Something odd possessed me to place it on my tongue. The taste was brilliantly indescribable. It was sweet, but the bitterness it carried with it invented a new flavor entirely. If I could again eat noise, I would in an instant.
Though my worlds are filled with sweetness and wonders beyond imagination, it is lonely. There are no real people. That's why I'm fascinated so by dolls and pictures, things that resemble myself. I have always been alone in this world, in my world. It never bothered me. I can go anywhere and have anything.