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"Apocalypse (The End)"

Poem By: CanadianIdiot
Science Fiction


I was thinking of I Am Legend and this came into mind... Nothing much to say, really. View table of contents...

 

Submitted: May 14, 2008    Reads: 58    Comments: 12    Likes: 3   


“Apocalypse (The End)”

The sky turns turn red,

The corpses have already bled,

Cities crumble to the ground,

Humans cannot be found.

They hide in the numbers that are few,

Waiting for the day to start anew…

It rains blood,

Severed heads cause streets to flood.

It snows ash,

Which covers the ground in a flash.

The sunshine is black,

Which is a result of the demon’s attack…

The apocalypse stuck long ago,

Human life ceases to go,

They dwell under the Earth, hiding in fear,

That the creatures above will hear,

Their heavy breathing and scared crying,

And the moans of those dying…

Birds cease to fly,

Planes don’t fill the sky.

The monsters rule the ground,

Taking and killing all other life that is found.

They rule the skies,

Watching the world with their pure white eyes…

They are grotesque and cannot be described,

Use your head and that is all you’ll have needed.

They are far worse than even a vile mind will think,

Their breath is thick like blood down a sink,

And their cries like strangled children,

Dying, and dying, and dying again…

This is the apocalypse; the end.

Hope is not something people can lend.

Thin enough that people will kill for it,

And die trying to have the other’s throat slit.

They cannot hold out for long,

Because the apocalypse struck; its better off gone…


3

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Comments:

pretty good, think it needs to be a bit more polished in flow. just my thought. keep writing.

Posted: May 15, 2008

Author Comment:

I say the same exact thing. I had some trouble in some parts, but, hey, at least its done.

this is good! Keep up the good work!

Posted: May 19, 2008

Author Comment:

Yeah, I suppose I should. I've been in a drag lately and haven't been able to do much.

Hey I liked the blood bath. Keep writing, I would enjoy to read more.

Posted: May 27, 2008

Author Comment:

Of course! As long as I get comments, I'll keep on writing!

nice it was long but good very good

Posted: Jun 1, 2008

Author Comment:

Long is good; try reading The Raven by Edgar Allan Poe if you think this is long!

hi! ci. if it is apocalypse, then u've given a dark description, fitting the mood of the poem. rhyming too is good. altogether nice. ;-)

Posted: Jun 3, 2008

Author Comment:

It is a very depressing subject to think about, so I've got to be as dark and powerful as I can. Thanks.

its good!! i tried writing a poem like this, but I didn't get it right! you did just fine!! no dark seekers eh?

Posted: Jun 7, 2008

Author Comment:

Nah, no dark seekers. XD I'm pretty good at writing dark stuff like this, plus I have an "active imagination", so I can make stuff like this easily. If you try hard enough, you can do anything with writing; just try over and over until it works!

It is dark and I can imagine apocolypse would be bad like that. I think you did a very good job on the poem.

Posted: Jun 9, 2008

Author Comment:

Thanks. Keep on rockin'!

It is so real
You have created a world anew.

Posted: Jun 12, 2008

Author Comment:

Created? Yeah, its my world. And I went out and destroyed it! Mwahahahahaahhaaaa!!!!111!1! *cough*

nice poem... well whoever herd of apocalyps nice. i bet if you work on your flow and maybe try out some new rhyming patterns, you could be great. keep on doing it!

KUATSIMOTO

Posted: Jun 13, 2008

Author Comment:

KUATSIMOTO, thanks a bunch. I know, I've got to work on my flow a lot; not me strongest part. Thanks for reading!

It was quite well written. It also makes us think about apocaliptic time that will come for sure. Made me think about eternal life, are we having? Do we have Jesus in our hearts?. Very nice, update me and keep it up!

Posted: Aug 7, 2008

Author Comment:

Alright dude! I'll be sure to do that!

I like the metaphorical emphasis you use in much of your description. It is a lil rough around the edges, as I am sure you are aware. I could envision the blood in the sink and the strangled children--that was very good. When you write how is the atmosphere around you? Is it quiet? Loud music playing? I'm just curious, send me a line and let me know. Thx

Posted: Aug 10, 2008

Author Comment:

Yeah, I'm listening to my music while writing this stuff. Although, I think this is one of the exceptions, though. I got this inspiration by I Am Legend and The Road. I said "Hey, that could be easy" and just blew it out.

But usually my writing, especially Valescar, is driven by pulse pounding, head banging, hair bending thrash metal guitar riffs. If I want to write a good battle scene, I usually switch to Dragonforce, Symphony X, or Iron Maiden for that stuff. XD

Wow that's pretty intense.Sad part is that's probably how it's gonna be too.Great imagination on this.Very vivid.You can just picture the whole image in your mind while reading this.Excellent work.

Posted: Oct 19, 2008

Author Comment:

I did get a couple of chills writing this. I scare myself easily... (Wait, that means I'm a wuss? BLASPHEMY!)



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