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Howard and the Hole

Script By: L A Gardner
Science fiction



a short one act play - a dialog really- about a vortex. someones fiction is our reality.
I'll be publishing it in chunks.


Submitted:Apr 23, 2008    Reads: 165    Comments: 0    Likes: 0   


Howard enters, wearing jeans, a shirt, and a heavy winter coat. He walks slowly, looking around at the scenery. The day is cold, he zips up his coat. He comes all the way down stage and falls off the stage, catching himself before he falls into the hole.

Howard: Holey shhhh....

He hulls himself up from the wall of the hole. He stares into it. he is confused as to what it is doing there. He looks about, bewildered. Howard kicks a nearby pebble into the hole and listens for it to hit the bottom. He is amazed when he hears nothing, and relieved that he caught himself. He is about to walk away when an unhuman voice, almost robotic but with tone and emotion, speaks from within the hole.

Voice: Hey! You up there! Quit throwing your crap down here!

Howard: Sorry. Who are you?

Voice: I'm not at liberty to tell you that. Tell me, tough, are you at liberty to tell me who you are?

Howard: My name is Howard. What do you want?

Voice: Mr. Howard, I am running a study of your species to help make a very important decision that my people feel compelled to make. We have been observing your people and feel we are close to making this all too important decision. Please, tell me, what is this brown substance and this hard object that you threw down?


Howard can't believe what he was hearing. Who or what was he communicating with? Should he even be communicating with them/it?

Howard: The brown stuff's called dirt and the hard thing's a rock. They make up our ground.

Voice: Your ground is made of this? You do not have the tiles?

Howard: Tiles?

Voice: Yes. Our ground is made up of tiles. They also produce light, heat, and energy. As far as I understand, our ground tiles are theequivalent of your son.

Howard: you mean sun with a 'U'. When you say it with an 'O', it means someone's male child. If your ground is also your sun, what's in your sky?

Voice: Our sky is black. What do you mean 'male'?

Howard: Male, the opposite of female. Boys and girls, men and women.

Voice: Please, Mr. Howard, I do not understand what you mean.

Howard is astounded.

Howard: Genders, sex's, you know.

Voice: Ah yes. I have studied this subject. We do not have what you call 'genders'. I have heard of what you call 'sex' and we do not have that either. We are, what you call, asexual.

Howard: Really? How many of there are you?

Voice: I've learned about numbers and counting. There are two-seven-zero-zero-zero-five of us.

Howard: Oh my God! Twenty-seven hundred thousand! That's a lot!

Voice: Yes, we're almost out of room. That's why we have population control. Every time the tiles change color, a group of citizens must be eliminated according to a pre-determined color given to us by the leader, who is God, as you would call him.

Howard: You don't die naturally?

Voice: I do not know what you mean, so no, we do not.

Howard: What's the date where you are? What time is it?

Voice: We do not have 'time'. You made it to assist you, then it enslaved you. Ha! Please excuse my laughter, but you are so very weak and nieve!

Howard: Where do you live?
Voice: Here.

Howard: No, I mean what are your houses like?

Voice: Houses?

Howard: The buildings where you eat, and sleep, and stay in when the weather is bad.

Voice: Buildings? Eat? Sleep? Weather? Please, Mr. Howard, I do not understand.

Howard: No, I don't understand! You don't have buildings, or food, or sleep, or weather?! How is that possible?!

Voice: It just is.

Howard: Oh my God! Your people are barley people! Do you even breath, or bleed, or have a pulse?!

Voice: Please, Mr. Howard, these words confuse me.

Howard: I don't believe it! Who are you?! What kind of freaks can live like you?! You frighten me, I'm terrified of you! But, at the same time I hate you because, by our standards, you shouldn't be living! What the Hell!?!

Voice: Mr. Howard, I was attempting to run a study on your people. All I've learned is that you're boring, confusing, nieve, and impossible to break through to. I am done talking to you, sir. You have baffled and offended me. I'm closing this vortex. Do not attempt to make contact with our dimension again.

There is a loud, echoing "ka-schunk", the hole is gone. Howard is amazed, almost upset. He stars for a few moments at the place where the hole was. Howard sits, attempting to comprehend what happened.

Howard: Should I be offended? Should I be honored for this opportunity to talk to... what ever or who ever that was? Do I tell someone? Do I keep this to my self? This is to weird!

Wait. Stop. This didn't happen. That's it. Look, solid ground. I'm just stressed from too much work at college. There's no way that anything like that could ever, EVER exist. I'll just go home, lie down for a while, relax, and forget this whole thing. It's too impossible. It was just stress, it didn't happen. It was just stress, it didn't happen. It was just stress, it didn't happen...

He exists repeating this to himself. Darkness.


Voice: After much research, I've found that the human species is unable to survive on it's own. Their home is falling down around them, but they blind themselves to it. They are too proud of themselves to fix any real problems, they just deny the problems. They brag about their progress, but what have they really done? They've created things to destroy their minds, individuality, and turn them themselves into machine. Machines that create more machines that are causing their planet to fail, but they love their machines to much to admit to this. I fear the only way to help them, is to destroy their planet so that they may start over. This will not be easy, and perhaps I will not be able to accomplish it before it is my turn to control the population, but I must do all I can to make it happen. It is the only way.

THE END





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