Suicide Is Your Best Option
by: Kaleb Ferguson
Ring..Ring..Ring.. , the phone in the office cubicle rings. Dan answers it " Hello, this is Dan, how may I help you. "Yes", says the raspy voice on the phone, "I would like to speak to your manager about.....", Dan furious, slams down the phone. Dan starts cussing out everyone in the office, and later gets called into the boss's office. "What is your explanation for this behavior Dan", the boss asks, Dan retorts, "I'm....", the boss cuts him off, "I don't care that is unacceptable, YOU'RE FIRED, good luck getting another job in this deadbeat town." "Whatever, glad I'm outta here anyways, I swear one more day in here and, oooooooo."
Later that night at about 8:30 p.m. Dan decides to read the classifieds to try and find a new job, but there's no luck there are only 3 places to work at in the fine community of Dukes, which has an enormous population of 450, but none are hiring right now. The closest available place to get a job is 25 miles away, and Dan doesn't have a car, bike, or even a scooter, plus he is 300lbs, so walking probably isn't an option. Because of Dan's little mess up he lost his job of one week, he went from earning $13 an hour to unemployment.
Dan is very angry at himself and contemplates commiting suicide, but he reminds himself that there is always another chance, another day. Dan goes to his bedroom, turns off his 20 inch tv, and exhausted, goes to sleep. Dan awakens in the pitch black middle of the night, to a sound very similar to thunder, but it is not raining, and the sky is red. He isn't really concerned, as he thinks it is a dream. He goes back to sleep. At 7:00a.m. Dan wakes up and tries to turn on the tv, but it doesn't come on, he tries to make coffee, doesn't work, so something is wrong. Dan unplugs everything and plugs them back in, that fails to restore power as well. About 5 minutes later, he tries to call his buddy on his cell phone, but he isn't getting a bar of signal. Dan opens his main door to the house and goes outside, and then the whole house crumbles to the ground around him. Dan, stunned, looks on the ground around him, and sees a newspaper clipping that says "Take Shelter, Terrorist Bombings Detected." Dan was lucky enough to get home when he did, because just hours after he got home, a Nuke/EMP went off and wiped out everyone on the face of the Earth, except him. Dan figures there is no point in living anymore, so he chains 10 cinder blocks (that weigh 50 lbs each), on him, and he dives into the ocean and drowns.