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A depressed teenager becomes an ancient saint.
By Darryl Fabia
This time of year, good children get presents, but the bad children get Krampus.
For those of you who don't know, Krampus is a tradition in Eastern Europe. He is a mythological demon creature that accompanies Saint Nicholas around the world on his sleigh, so he can go around beating the s**t out of naughty kids with sticks. I thought he deserved a nice Christmas song.