She stared deep into the cataclysmic abyss that gazed back with beckoning eyes.As the rain lashed against her face like shards of broken glass, sharp enough to hurt but not enough to cut she gently began to sway. Like a rag doll playing in the wind her body moved in random directions, undeceive in which way to go, a euphoric feeling of being out of control.
Silhouetted figures moved slowly in the distance, up and down they bobbed they were animated yet made no sound. Maybe the noise they were emitting was being drowned by the banshee screams that echoed through her ears. The wind howled violently, seemingly humming to her to "Jump". She was out of control; fate was out of her hands only certain death awaited her if the next step forward was to be her last.
The only thoughts that ran through her mind were how she had arrived at this point, the events, the promises and broken dreams of the last year all seemingly pushing her forward towards the point of no return. As the raindrops dripped down her face masquerading her tears into a path of drowned emotions the pain suddenly snapped her back to reality.
Where was she? Had she abandoned her child again? The daughter that she had bought into this world yet abandoned time after time as her own selfish addictions took over her body snapping her desire and murdering any last ounce of willpower she possessed. How many more times will the social services give her a final warning, she had lost count. Vicki was the saviour of her life, the only thing that had stopped her from engulfing herself in the darkened cataclysm that offered her such a tempting invitation.
Was it fate that had led her here? How can a soul become so decayed in such a short space of time? The willingness to feel wanted and accepted was the cause, that much she knew, but what she still could not fathom was why she had let herself be abused by those she trusted. There was no element of friendship in her life anymore, family were there to protect her but they had abandoned ship a long time ago.
The racism portrayed when she invited Joel into her house by her family were inexcusable, the blunt outburst was unforgivable. But her kin turning their back on her had to be the straw that not only broke the camel's back but crushed the poor bastard. Alone and frightened the year ahead saw a path of self destruction she would not have wished on her worst enemy.
The silhouetted figures were getting distant, the sun had replaced the rain and was etching pain upon her blistered skin, and it was all too much to bear. There was nothing left to live for, nothing to hold her back ending it all. The wind picked up pace and pushed her further to the edge, leaning over she looked down into the infinite hole that waited for her choice…a choice that would change everything.
Copyright Dean Fraser-Phillips