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We allways knew we were different. We just had all the required traits to make us "wierd" Oprphans, baces, glasses, scary talking vioces in our heads dictating our every move. Yup, we were something else. View table of contents...

Chapters:

1 2 3 4

Submitted: Jul 15, 2008    Reads: 126    Comments: 19    Likes: 4   


Avery
I whispered in silence to the frosty night air outside my small, dirty, ragged apartment. I fell to my knees. The cold sting of the snow was simply pleasurable next to the screeching torment of it’s voice.
A deep sultry tone whispered back. It was smooth and harsh, it was a voice that could kill you if it told you you were dead. It stung to hear and hurt to respond to. A voice to which you must obey.
“Nicely done… I do think it was better than I could of done, but then we are too different to compare…” The voice hissed along in my mind, I imagined a snake, coiling around my brain, pulling tighter, tighter.
“I’m confused. He seemed too normal to possibly be a threat”
“Darling, you may be confused… but I am not, it is not your job to understand… it is yours only to obey, Avery,” Avery. It gave me that name. In that name is the very being of who I am. In a way the voice knows me more than I do, it knew Avery was my real name. It told me so. But just as it gave me that name it can take it away, and that could kill me.
“What now?” My voice stuttered and shook, I could barely breath. This voice, this unearthly sound only I can hear, It makes me do it’s bidding, it scares me.
“Nothing, nothing now,” I let out a long held in breath. Nothing, it wouldn’t make me do anything. Or at least for now.
“Thank You,”
“You don’t like doing my biding? Did I not tell you it was for your own good?” I’d made it mad. It was angry with me.
“No, no, I do like obeying you, I just, I…”
“Hold your breath” No. no, no, no, not again not this, not again.
“Please, please don’t…” Too late. My lungs shriveled, my throat was caught, I tried to scream, I needed help. No, I didn’t, No, no one could help. The voice could control me. I was holding my own breath. It was making me. I knew he would release me. He’s done worse though. Spots danced before my eyes…
He released me. I breathed deeply, swallowing gallons and gallons of air. By far his favorite torture method.
“Thank you,”
“You will obey me and you will like it,”
“yes… I will,” I felt him leave me. The weight lifted. I layed down in the snow, and I cryed.


4

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Comments:

yonaika
(not registered user)

I like it so far!! That voice is really creepy though O_O!!

Posted: Jul 15, 2008

Author Comment:

Thnx, just the effect I hoped 4!

OMG!!! This is like totally amazing!! OMG!! I can't believe I just said 'Totally' *ick* * washes tongue with soap* Lol. exaggerating a bit, aren't I? :) keep writing and let me know when you have more up, because this is very interesting.

Posted: Jul 15, 2008

Author Comment:

Thank you mucho much!

man thats some beggining i so want more! poor avery i hope she? he? i think its a she um i hope she gets the voice thing outa her head anyways keep up the good excelent awesome amazing work! cant wait for another chapter!

Posted: Jul 15, 2008

Author Comment:

Thank You!!! It is indeed a she!!!

awesome!! Very interesting... "You will obey me and you will like it."--classic:) I love it!

Posted: Jul 15, 2008

Author Comment:

:) Thnx!!!!!!!

Very interesting keep it up!

Posted: Jul 15, 2008

Author Comment:

Thnx! I will!!!

I loved it. Creepy too (in a good way). Lol. Hope you write more.

Posted: Jul 16, 2008

Author Comment:

Thnx! :) Creepy is always good in this story!!

There are two opposing conversation that take place within us everyday and it's up to us which one we favor most. We should be careful though b/c the other one releases toxins. ^^

Posted: Jul 16, 2008

Author Comment:

cool... Thnx

Post more soon! I'm loving the story:)

Posted: Jul 16, 2008

Author Comment:

Thnx soo much!

hi! alice. that's an excellent beginning and a refreshing one too. keep it up. lol. ;-)

Posted: Jul 16, 2008

Author Comment:

Thnx soo much!!!

What an original (and slightly creepy) first chapter. I like it :)

Posted: Jul 16, 2008

Author Comment:

Thnx!

Wow, that is so cool!!!! Tell me when you have more up!

Posted: Jul 17, 2008

Author Comment:

I will, I will!

Great job, Alice. Like many of the others have said this is off to a great beginning I'm going to start reading the others soon. Could you please come by to my page and read my poem "A Winter Flame" I'd really appreciate it. It actually has a similar setting, which is why I liked it so much!

Posted: Jul 17, 2008

Author Comment:

Totally! Thnx for the comment!!!

That was fantastic...cant write much...need to read on...right now...well done though!!!
Alex

Posted: Jul 18, 2008

Author Comment:

THNX!!!!

This is really good so far! Very interesting! I shall read on...

The Rogue Hat Company

Posted: Jul 18, 2008

Author Comment:

Yea!!!

I LOVED it!!! Thanks 4 reading my stuff! I will just have to read on!
One question though... What's vioce? Is it voice, or somethin' else?

Posted: Jul 18, 2008

Author Comment:

voice, sorry. Thnx!!!!

Oh, Alice! That was lovely. A few typos, but very well written. You used a lot of great words which made this piece very powerful. I love every bit of it :]

Posted: Jul 19, 2008

Author Comment:

Thank you very very much!

omgosh!..
soo sori i didn't take a look @ diis sooner!..
i lov dis!!..
ur writing is soo descriptive that the only way i cud see dat scene any clearer is if i was actualli present there!!.

i av 2 go.. bu i will get 2 d rest wen im bac..
il pt it on mii readin list .. k?...

xoxox

Posted: Jul 20, 2008

Author Comment:

Cool! Thnx soo much!

Cool. I'd like to see where this one's going ;)
Check some of my stuff out if you get the time, would you?

Posted: Jul 22, 2008

Author Comment:

Sure! Thnx!

Thank-you for your invitation to read your story. It was almost too much for my poor old heart! Very creepy!

Posted: Jul 23, 2008

Author Comment:

I'm sorry! Thnx!



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