"It was cold that morning and I was walking on the beach
collecting shells. It's what I did every morning those days. It
took my mind off things. Mom had left town with another man, I
didn't know how long she'd be gone. Dad was long dead from his
heart attack. I was their only child and I didn't matter at all
to them. I was minding my own business; I didn't know someone
else was out there until his arms were around my neck. He said to
me, "Carol, you remember me don't you?" and of course I said yes
because I did remember him; he was my mom's ex husband…well, one
of them, she had four. He was the most recent one and he had been
rich. Giving mom everything she wanted until she divorced him.
She couldn't afford a lawyer though and was left with nothing
from him. This made her angry at him and she'd spend days eating
ice cream and ranting about him. I never understood why they
split; he treated her better than all the others. But they did
and I was seventeen, I hardly cared, I was counting down the days
until I could leave that hell hole. I didn't realize it'd be so
She glanced at me and then continued talking, "He said that I
would do exactly as he said or I would die. Dying wasn't an
option for me, I was fearless and I had a whole life ahead of me.
I simply nodded. He took me behind some bushes. I thought he
would rape me. That's what I was prepared for. But that is not
He threw me in his car and drove me to one of his many houses. It
was a huge Victorian mansion and I was dragged to the basement.
He locked me in a little room and said he'd be back soon. I
waited for hours in that room. I was hungry, thirsty, and had to
go to the bathroom, but I couldn't see anything in the darkness.
Finally, he came back down with a man and a woman. He said they
were going to have a little chat with me. Again, I simply
I no longer believed this was a fake story, this sounded real to
me, and I was terrified, "Carol, you don't have to continue," I
"I do though; I told you that, there is no turning back now."
"They explained to me what they wanted me to do and I said no.
They wanted me to kill people, be an assassin. I couldn't do it
you know? Killing people; I was an innocent seventeen year old
girl. I had never even left our little town. They kept asking and
I kept saying no. Finally, the man that had come with the woman
tied me to a chair. He ordered me to be still while he picked up
the chair and placed it against the wall. He taped the chair so
that my back was to the wall and I couldn't move. Then he took
out a knife,"
"No," I whispered, "Stop, it's not true,"
She sighed, "He took out the knife and he cut along my face. So
slowly, and I couldn't even scream. Tears ran down my face as he
taunted me. My ex step father and the woman just stood back there
looking at us. Watching him ruin my beautiful young face, I was
so angry. Vanity kills you know. When he was done he untied me
and pushed me towards Vince, my ex step father. He said, "Would
you like that man to never hurt you again?" I nodded as I fell to
the floor, crying. Then I felt something metal thrust into my
hand. A gun. I looked up at Vince and he nodded, "Keep yourself
safe, kill�him." The man had backed up against the wall and
looked terrified, "Vince," he said, "Vince, you can't. We're
buddies. And Sue! I love you Sue." But Sue only shrugged and
began kissing Vince's neck. That's when it clicked for the other
guy that he was being used. I still couldn't do it, couldn't
shoot the guy that I hated. Vince stood me up carefully and
placed the gun correctly in my hand. He aimed at the man and
pushed slightly on my finger. I shot him. I killed that man. I'll
never forgive myself. Vince told me that I had done it once, and
a couple more wouldn't hurt me. He said he'd pay me a lot of
money for each one. And that no one would hire me for anything
else because of my scars. This crushed me, I had always wanted to
be a model and he knew it. He knew what to say to get me to