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Circle of Life

Poem By: UnspokenSoul22
Thrillers


~I have no clue why I've been writing these morbid poems, so I apologize =)~
This is a tale of a boy put into a mental health clinic or asylum, where as he thinks this life is too much.
~~Wait until he sees the next one!! =D View table of contents...

 

Submitted: Aug 15, 2008    Reads: 108    Comments: 34    Likes: 10   


Circle of Life

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*~Life is just one damned thing after another~*

-Elbert Hubbard

~*A final finale to the next scene:*~

Unloving irises stare into oblivion,

Voices of those gone scream in agony,
Fingernails shrieking as they croon the misery of their lives,
Upon blackboards, upon blackboards,
Etchings of madness fermenting in my mind.
Creatures...
Demons.
Prodding my flesh with sharp daggers.
Pulling follicles of hair, one by one, from my scalp.
Stroking my bedridden body.
Tormenting me for forever and forever..
Amen.
Holy water trickles from my veins,
Easing away the creatures of the damned,
Moistness upon my cheek,
Sharpness on my arm,
Voices swirl around,
As I slump to the padded ground.
Velveteen caressing my earlobe,
Urging me forth,
Toward the patch of light.
It tells softly of wondrous places,
Dreams of no pain, no suffering,
A sanctuary of lush.
Diverge into the light,
Clear your mind,
Till the brightness devours its meal.

~*There, and back again:*~

Eyes reopen to a familiar sight,

A padded room,
Just now with an entity of affright.
Satan himself, gleaming in his glory,
Another kill,
Another trap,
Another rat has taken the cheese.
'Don't fall into the light', they say,
For no one truly knows why.
Though, heed my tale,

If not…

Take part in another round of everlasting hell.

((This was one, complete, poem. I just divided it to show you the journey, from one world to the next.))

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~* Maybe that's what Hell is. You go mad, and all your demons come and get you, as fast as you think them up*~

-Anne Rice


10

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Comments:

This was really good. The music went well with this. Thanks for letting me know you had a new poem up. This wa SOOO good. Adding the pictures and quotes made this better. I loved the first stanza and how you started it "Voices of those gone scream in agony". But i loved the quote "Life is just one damned thing after another" Great job!:)

Posted: Aug 15, 2008

Author Comment:

=D Thanks.
All I wanted to show people is that even though our lives may be hard, the grass might not be greener on the other side.

This has to be, the most morbid poem so far that I have ever read on booksie; and for that.... I LOVE IT!!! Great job, and keep writing. Don't ever give up! =D

Posted: Aug 15, 2008

Author Comment:

Morbid-ness! YESHH!!

Hmm. Loving it.... :) Must agree with ant. Also it was beyond enjoyable. LOL
As always THNX very much for the heads up. When ever you post feel free to let me know. :)

Posted: Aug 15, 2008

Author Comment:

You're welcome.
Thanks for reading it!

wow! absolutely superb! I LOVE it! It's sooo good! This is really random, but i think it could easily be turned into a song or something...hmmm. That's just what i kept thinking. it was REALLY GOOD! I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT!! Thanks so much for letting me know you posted it!
=D

Posted: Aug 16, 2008

Author Comment:

Yay! Another person likes it!!

Well, it was very good. Extremely good, I say. I liked it.

Have you read my poems and novel? If not, do so. And please comment.

Posted: Aug 16, 2008

Author Comment:

=) I think I've read over some of your poems, thought I've haven't commented. I'll get on that, right now. =D

Very well written mate! That was quite dark... and beautifully written lines...

"Fingernails shrieking as they croon the misery of their lives, Upon blackboards, upon blackboards"

Wow man thats really cool... do read some of my poems... 'Dark Ages' could be your cup of tea~

Posted: Aug 16, 2008

Author Comment:

Ohhh! I enjoy tea! Tehehe!

I agree with everyone it was really good =]

Posted: Aug 17, 2008

Author Comment:

Thanks XLoX.
I'm so glad everyone likes it!

That was actually sorta scary if you know what i mean, Made my skin crawl! I love how you added the quotes! All in all it was awesome!

Posted: Aug 17, 2008

Author Comment:

Ohhh! Spooky!!
=)

this is so sad yet true! i luved it!

Posted: Aug 17, 2008

Author Comment:

Thanks a lot, Rose =)

First of all I LOVE this song!! Second, this was beautifully dark. I know I don't make sense, but I really liked it! I'll keep reading your works if you keep writing them!

Posted: Aug 17, 2008

Author Comment:

Tehe. I also love this song, a delicous masterpiece by Hinder, meh sweetheart.

its AMAZING!
the picture is AWESOME!
the words and phrases are rly great

"Till the brightness devours its meal."
i absolutely love that line =]
the whole thing completely blew me away ><
and i love the song!!
what's it called?
excellent work =]
take care ^^

Posted: Aug 17, 2008

Author Comment:

The song is "How Long" by Hinder, who also wrote the popular, "Lips of an Angel." =)
Whoo..It blew you away like a tornado? Whoa!!
Thanks!!

WOW i love it keep up the good work

Posted: Aug 17, 2008

Author Comment:

=D Thankies, Rat.
Nice to hear from you.

Another bloody brilliant piece. The structure and form was outstanding. I am honestly awestruck, your poetic prowess far exceeds my own. =^.^=

Posted: Aug 17, 2008

Author Comment:

Awestruck..?

W-H-O-A! Really? This has to be the most morbid piece of writing I've ever even thought of.

Again, you're flattering me sooo!

This is really good! Music went well with the poem! Great job!

Posted: Aug 17, 2008

Author Comment:

=) Thanks, Spaxx.

Great job! I LOVED it! I wish I could hear the music...but I will try it later! Good Job!

Posted: Aug 18, 2008

Author Comment:

Aww..you couldn't hear the music??
Sorry! =(

Thanks, though.
I hope you can heard the music next time!

This was truely awesome you scared me half to death i think it is correct to presume that madness brings out the creative side in human nature well it works for me any way

Posted: Aug 18, 2008

Author Comment:

Hahaha! You are soo totally right! MWAHAHA!
Madness /does/ let the juices flow in meh head.
Thanks.

That's a cool poem. I liked the subject and the expressions.

Posted: Aug 18, 2008

hunterkyrie
(not registered user)

Very sad and thoughtful. It's fantastic when someone can write exactly how they or another person could be feeling. The imagery really shows that. Very well written. The music makes good accompaniment. =)

Posted: Aug 18, 2008

Author Comment:

=) Thank you /very/ much.
Tehe. You liked the music..Ohh!
Hinder is totally awesome.
=P

you don't know why you get these morbid moments?...i can anwser that for you...it's called..watching too many horror movies...or just plain humanly curious...lolz...your pick...
but i liked it anyway lots of thoughtful details..

Posted: Aug 18, 2008

Author Comment:

I guess it's curiousity, well, since, I haven't watched a scary movie in a while! =/ Lol!
Thankies!

i love this poem not because it's the kind of thing i usually like but because it consumes the reader it the darkness it's describing. it creates a overall feeling and atmosphere of it's own that lingers long after the last line is read. The music worked well to enhance this.
this poem truly is haunting.
and the poetic techniques themselves are used like well sharpened tools creating a brillaint masterpiece.

Posted: Aug 19, 2008

Author Comment:

Ohhh! I /haunt/ people..Wow.
I'ma god ghostie.
Lol.
Thanks, Wings.

it sure is morbid...may be this way u r able to vent out ur inner self...don't stop

Posted: Aug 22, 2008

Nonna2
(not registered user)

Thank-you for inviting me to read your Poem. I am afraid that it is a bit too morbid for me, you'll need to ask those with stronger stomachs than mine to read it and give you a critique.

Kind regards,
Nonna2

Posted: Aug 25, 2008

wow...that was really good! it was kind of depressing, but not really. i liked it. can u check out some of my stuff, particularly my novel??? thanx.

Anna17

Posted: Aug 30, 2008

Author Comment:

Thanks and sure!
I'll read your novel.

your photos really fit with the poem. good job.

Posted: Sep 21, 2008

Author Comment:

Thank you. =)
I searched around to find the right photos to bring out the morbidness.

eerie :p Very grisly. Nicely said. Specially the vocabulary is great. Loved it... keep it up.

Posted: Sep 21, 2008

Author Comment:

xD The funny thing is these poems I write are a complete opposite from myself and my lifestyle, I'm a happy and upbeat person.
=] Thanks for the opinion.

This was reallly really awesome!!Love it.Great work.
And I liked that song.Can u say who is singing it,lol?.Thanks.And I like your poems.They're really beautiful.
:)

Posted: Sep 21, 2008

Author Comment:

Thankies =D
Umm...It's Hinder, the group/guy who remade the song, "Lips of an Angel". The song?? It's "How Long". By the way, I'm soon going to get a playlist started on my blog tolet people see the songs that I'm using for my poems. =)

That is a very morbid poem but it was so good! You have a lot of talent.

Posted: Sep 21, 2008

There is nothing wrong with morbid poems, they are the best kind, look at Poe or Byron or Shelly, masters of the Morbid and Macabre, and they are still remembered many years later. The dark appeals to us the most, keep up the work, and who knows, you might become another Shelly or Poe.

P.s., great music, who is the artist of this song?

Posted: Sep 21, 2008

Author Comment:

Me? Really..? Be someone as admirable as Poe?
Thank you very much for the comment, though I doubt I could surpass or become an equal to him.
Many horrible things happened in his lifetime, giving him the purpose to write his poems.
Nothing morbid has ever happened to me and I hope nothing ever does happen, god forbid, and I don't plan on to be an alcoholic.
Tehe.
Thanks =)
((My darling, Hinder, is the artist, and the name of the song is "How Long"))

Spectacular Job!!!! I loved it!!!

Posted: Sep 22, 2008

and the speaker goes insane, life a bitch aint it? great poem, loved it.

Posted: Sep 23, 2008

Author Comment:

Haha! My thoughts exactly! Though life may be a pail of rusty nails, you have to play with the hand you're dealt.
In this little story, the speaker assumed that anything would be better than the present, except he was gravely wrong. ^^
Thanks for reading it Alex!
Btw, I totally

This was so cleverly written! It is definitely a favorite of mine on this site!

Posted: Sep 24, 2008

I disagree with Anne I've always enjoyed losing my mind - it always amuses me - the sights the soubnds the colors the hospital

Posted: Sep 26, 2008

Intense and raw.

Posted: Oct 4, 2008

Hello,
finally i have found someone who is as morbid as i am LOL. Wonderful poem and the way you set up the last stanza shows gr8 potential. I especially loved the way you made light seem like a glimpse of heaven at first(Light at the end of the tunnel) But ultimately it was the fires of hell, which i must say does not bode too well for the theory of walking towards the light LOL. I can honestly say that your work shows a lot of promise, it just needs a little polishing to truly shine.
Just introduce a little more symmetry in your poem, sharpen some of the verse by removing unnecessary lines and this poem will have maximum impact. The rest is perfect, i love your talent for imagery.

Posted: Oct 7, 2008



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