The Final Session
Scene: Waiting Room
Client: [On mobile phone] [Assertively, business-like] Ah, yes Victoria, go ahead and cancel all meetings schedueled for this afternoon. We'll discuss further when I return to the office. [Nods head after response] Oh and do make sure to post all the letters that I have left on my desk as soon as you can. Have a good weekend...
Therapist: [Walks into Waiting Room and notices Client] Hi! Come on in.[Gestures to enter the private room]
Client: [Slips phone into bag subtley and smiles at Therapist] Thanks.
[Therapist enters Private Room whilst Client follows; looking confident. Client sits down on one of the two set chairs facing eachother, removes jacket and places it on the back of the chair. Places bag on the floor. Takes off shoes.]
Scene: Private Room
Therapist: [Closes the door behind them and sits on the other seat facing Client] So how are you today?
Client: [Starts to show signs of sorrow] Better than yesterday, feeling rather sad, I hate goodbyes..
Therapist: [Warmly] I understand, we have been working together for 11 months now, last week we talked about how this week would be our last session and that we would aim to reflect on how far you have come from the first time we met.
Client:Yes, I know, it just feels so strange, I hate goodbyes, especially after all I have shared with you. I brought the photos like you asked. Would you like to see them?
Therapist: Yes please, when you are ready.
Client: I'm ready now...we don't have much time left...
Therapist: Ok, show me.
Client: So, well, hmm, this is me aged 7..THIS is my mother and here is one of my father..
Therapist: Thanks for sharing, how do you FEEL when you look at these photos?
Client:I feel sad, always sad, sometimes angry, confused, hurt, empty, the list goes on.[hugs herself and starts rocking slowly backwards and forwards]
Therapist: What are you thinking right now?
Client: I see THEM, I can SMELL THEM, I see myself in a corner, scared, defenceless, I can feel the gag in my mouth,I can feel him touching me, I can see her laughing, I feel sick..
[Starts hitting temples with fists]
Therapist:[Gets up and goes over to client] Let the flashback come through, do not hold in it, remember the techniques I have taught you, YOU are in control now, they cannot hurt you anymore, look at me, [kneels in front of Client and takes their hands away from their temple] look at me, I am here for you.
Client: [Face turned away, eyes shut tightly] [whispers weakly like a child telling a secret] I can't, I'm bad, I'm dirty, I'm worthless and no one cares for me, they were right. I cant fight this anymore, they always win. [Talks as adult self, angrily and distraught] She is just in so much pain, it hurts her. They were meant to love her, protect her. She is confused.. I AM angry that I could not protect her. I am so tired of carrying all of this inside of me. I just feel like I always end up in the same dark place, no matter how hard I try to be 'normal' it never seems to work out. It's like the Devil is always on my back...
Therapist: I know, I know..Listen to me, try and breathe like I taught you, deep breathes. Try not to think about what they did to you. Remember we are here now, this is your safe place. I am here for you. I know you are hurting, remember you were just a child, you had no choice. You did not want to do those things, you were forced, you were scared. You never have to do those things again. That little child inside of you does not need to hurt anymore. She is lovable.
Client: I am NOT lovable, I am bad, I have kept so many secrets inside of me to protect them..and...myself. I want to talk and let it out. There will be no other chance for me to do so..this is my final session.
Therapist: What do you want to let out? Remember everything you say in this room, your safe place, is confidential.
Client:[As a monologue] I went to visit her, my 'mum' in the hospice before I came here, she was asleep in her own private room, I held her hand, her old dry hand. I looked at her sleeping peacefully and I stroked her palm, softly. There was no response. I started to remember what she had used those hands to do to me. I remembered all the times she had spat on me, pulled my hair out from the roots, slapped and attacked me, sent me upstairs to satisfy HIM. I looked around her hospital bed and saw all the get well soon cards with messages of support, I saw the flowers. I looked into her face and saw the monster who hurt me, who allowed HIM to also hurt me. How dare she look so peaceful? I felt my anger erupting inside..bubbling, scolding my insides. I felt the fire inside me, but this time I did not want it to go away. I felt strong this time, in control, when I looked at her, I did not feel fear, I felt vengance.
I felt inside my bag and took out the needle, I leaned in towards her, kissed her cheek and injected the needle into her stomach. I knew exactly what I was doing - I wanted her dead. She killed my innocence. So you see, I AM bad, I am unlovable, I am my mother's daughter.
[Puts shoes and jacket back on] I want to thank you for allowing me to feel safe for these past 11 months. The sessions have made me really reflect on my whole life, my childhood, who I am today. I know you have helped heal many wounds. But some cuts are too deep. They cannot be reached to BE healed. I have lived a lie my whole life, thinking that I will be able to fake my way through life, being successful in many areas. But always the Devil has been on my back. I am tired, so very very very tired of living like this. Today I did something very bad, I will be found out and punished some more. Today is my final session..[Eyes brimming with tears]
Therapist: [Inhales deeply] [Eyes are watered] You are not bad, what you did today was not a good thing but with your history and childhood memories documented throughout our sessions, it will help you when your mother is discovered, I know I said everything you say is confidential but now I have a legal obligation to alert the authorities because of what you have told me. You do know that don't you?
Client:Yes I do, I understand. I am ready for that now, there is no going back. I feel free, so whatever happens from now on, I will always stay free inside. I know we are almost at the end of our session and that when I leave you will do what you have to do. I will wait for them to come for me. I have no energy to run or hide anymore. Can I ask you for one more thing please?
Therapist: Yes, please go ahead.
Client: A hug, like we always do at the end of our sessions. Just one more hug.
Therapist: Of course.
[They hug tightly]
Client: Thank you for helping me set myself free, I'll be waiting for them, I'm not scared or sad anymore, I just need to go freshen up first.
[Client leaves room with conviction, heading to bathroom]
Therapist: [On phone calling authorities] Police, please.. [Voice fades out]
Client: [In bathroom, pulls out needle from her jacket pocket] [Injects needle into stomach, one single tear drips] [Pulls out red lipstick from bag and writes on wall 'Free At Last' with it, Exhales. Takes out handgun from handbag and strokes it softly whilst slightly smiling]
[Gunshot can be heard]