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I Love You
I was always an odd person. Well, "odd" to say the least, I guess. I would usually be pretty quiet and keep to myself as a child. I knew that the minute I say what I was really thinking, other children would start crying and their parents would start harassing my mother into scheduling me an appointment with a psychiatrist.
My mother knew that I had all those weird ideas and thoughts in my head and she could care less. I think that it made her somewhat happy since it took me out of her hair. I could sit in my room and draw or write stuff for hours, getting all those images and emotions to drip blood on paper instead of my head. While I was doing that, my mother could do whatever the hell she wanted.
She never cared enough to really look at my drawings which I guess was a good thing. I mean, she would glance at them after I tried showing them to her, and she'd say absent mindedly "Yeah, Marc, that's great" but she never actually looked at them. As for reading my stories… Please, the only thing my mother ever read was Glamour magazine's confessions page.
So it worked out pretty well for me. I would get all that stuff out of my head onto paper and it would help a little and stop the dreams for a while. Then it'll start building up again and I needed more and more paper every time. It was fine. Paper was the lesser evil, I suppose. Up until I turned sixteen or so. Then paper wasn't enough anymore.
There was this girl in my school. She was pretty and somewhat nerdy but not enough to turn her into your typical "nerd" stereotype. I will remember her name until the day I die. She was my first. You never forget the name of the person who was your first. Jessica Vaughn, that was her name. Ah, my sweet Jessica… I realized that I have an enormous crush on her the day I saw her walking out of the girls' locker room in her gym clothes. The sight of her tight lean body and long dark hair that was tied into a ponytail turned me into a frozen statue. I knew right away that I was in love. I also knew that I had to have her or I will go insane.
So I asked her out and she said yes. It was great. We went to the zoo, park, Plaza. The date was pretty awesome. Then when it got all dark and late I asked if she wanted to go for a walk under the moonlit skies. She blushed but agreed. I guess, she thought we'll be making out or something. So we went for a walk and pretty soon I was able to get her into one of the darkest and most deserted spots in the middle of the park. She didn't mind or resist. I am a fairly good looking guy now and I was okay looking when I was a teen.
So we got under some tree and I gently pushed her back against it. She looked at me, eyes twinkling in the dark, the smell of her skin driving me almost crazy by that point.
- Jessica… - I said softly and stroke her face with my fingertips. - I love you.
She closed her eyes when I leaned in to kiss her. She tasted like fresh April rain drops. Crisp and clear. I kissed her for a while and she kissed me back. Then I couldn't hold back any longer. I knew if I did, I'd explode or something. The feelings and emotions were so incredibly powerful that I became lightheaded. I kissed Jessica's neck and she moaned softly. I was sliding my mouth along her collarbone and she was stroking my hair.
I was so hard by that point that it almost hurt. I knew I couldn't restrain myself any longer and I whispered:
- I love you Jessica… I will always love you…
She whispered something back but I didn't listen to her. I always preferred smaller knives. They are much more convenient to hold, work with, and much more easier to hide. If you know what you are doing, you can create a true masterpiece with a small knife. I knew what I was doing even though Jessica was my first. I played this scenario in my head so many times that I felt like a pro by now.
My knife went into her so smoothly like I was cutting butter. Jessica's eyes immediately flew wide open in shock. I knew that she will try to scream and I shut her up with my mouth. I kissed her passionately and her scream came out like a muffled loud moan. I pulled the knife out and kept kissing her. My entire body was shaking so bad that it felt like an amazing seizure. I stabbed her again, more slowly this time and I could feel her life flowing into my mouth. I fantasized about this moment for a very long time. You have no idea how many nights I spent in my bed with my eyes closed, lips pressed tight so no sounds could escape my throat, imagining what it would feel like, bringing myself to an ecstatic release over and over again.
The reality turned out to be almost nothing like my fantasies. It was so much better that for several seconds I was afraid that I will actually pass out from all the feelings and sensations that were shooting through me with unbelievable speed and strength. When Jessica's body started to convulse in my arms, I couldn't hold back anymore. I came so powerfully that I had to bite her lip to keep myself from screaming. I bit her lip almost all the way through and the taste of her blood made my spasms even stronger. I couldn't believe how long my orgasm lasted. It felt almost unreal. I never experienced anything even remotely close to what I was experiencing right then.
I kept stabbing her with each spasm that rippled through me and finally she stopped convulsing. I held her in my arms, kissing her face gently.
- Oh Jessica, - I muttered when my body was finally empty. - I love you so much…
It took me a while to make sure that I left no evidence whatsoever and I knew that I will have to wait until the next time. The wait was worth it though. The longer I waited, the better it would feel when I finally rewarded myself for being patient and abstinent.
I am not going to describe every single experience that I had since Jessica. Every single one of them was unique, not a single resemblance. And every single one of them took me all the way to heaven and back. I knew every name of the girls that I loved. Every single name. Love was the force that drove me. I would never do a one-night stand so to speak. Call me old fashioned, but I never believed in sex without love. Love made everything so much better.
I was smoking by the club I was planning on going to when I saw her. I almost dropped my cigarette. It was love from first sight. She was somewhat tall, not as tall as me, somewhere around five eight or so. Her body was just slim enough without making her look bony. She had long dark hair that was falling all the way down to her slender waist. I always had a thing for dark long hair. Never cared much for blonds. Redheads, yeah, sure… Sometimes. But the dark long hair would always throw me into frenzy.
I looked at my future lover and was beyond happy when I realized that she was alone and that she was heading into the same club I was planning on visiting. God just smiled at me. Again. Oh, the feeling of being in love… It's indescribable, really. I felt tickling in the pit of my stomach when I followed her into the club.
I watched her for almost half an hour, marveling at her grace and her smile. Finally I walked up to her and offered to buy her a drink. She looked at me thoughtfully.
- If I am bothering you, just say so, - I said quickly. - I will leave you alone. It's just… I saw you all the way across the floor and you are so stunningly beautiful that I couldn't resist coming over… But if I am bothering you, please, just let me know.
She blinked and smiled slowly.
- No, - she said and I almost moaned at the sound of her voice. - You are not bothering me. I would love a Cosmopolitan.
Two hours later I was kissing her gently in one of the corners of the club. She kept stroking my face with her fingertips and the sensation of it was almost electrical. I knew that I had to get her out of this club soon.
- Megan… - I whispered and she pulled away slightly and looked at me with her amazing almond shaped eyes. - Megan, I love you…
- Oh, Marc… - she breathed and kissed my mouth so slowly that I shivered. - I love you too…
I knew that she did. Every girl that I ever loved, loved me back. It had to be mutual, it made everything so much better.
- Do you wanna get out of here? - she whispered in my ear and I closed my eyes when her tongue ran over my ear lobe in one quick, slick move.
- Yes, - I muttered.
We walked out of the club, her body pressed tight against my side, her arm wrapped around my waist. The smell of her hair was exquisite. I knew that tonight will be one of the best nights in my life.
We went into a very dark alley somewhere behind the club and I carefully looked around, making sure that there was nobody there.
- It's deserted, - Megan murmured into my ear. - It's a good thing, too… I get loud…
- Oh, I do too, - I breathed and moaned when she kissed me slowly and gently.
She pushed me against the wall and started running her fingers down my chest. It felt amazing. I wanted to stretch this for as long as I could possibly handle. Megan pressed hard against my hips and I moaned again.
- You are so hard, - she whispered and slowly grind her hips into mine.
- Oh, God… - I muttered, closing my eyes. - Oh my God, this is amazing…
I knew that I would have to make love to her soon because my self-control was starting to evaporate. I listened to her uneven breathing and her heartbeat. It sounded better than music to me. She kept grinding against me and then she was moaning softly.
- Oh, Marc… - she muttered. - Oh, you feel so good…
I couldn't handle this anymore. I slowly reached for my pocket when suddenly she opened her eyes and looked at me, her lips trembling.
- Oh… - she moaned. - Oh, God, Marc… I love you so much….
- I love you too, Megan, - I said and my fingers wrapped around my knife that I referred to as my artistic brush. I created more than twenty five masterpieces with it.
- Oh, Marc… - she breathed heavily now. - I will always love you…
I almost pulled my brush out of my pocket when suddenly there was a blinding flash of pain in the center of my stomach. I groaned and Megan pushed harder against me and kissed my mouth so fiercely that I couldn't even breathe, let alone scream. She kissed me for what seemed an eternity, and the pain bloomed into something beyond huge. I tried grabbing her hands but the pain made me so weak and disoriented that I could barely move.
Megan stabbed me again, this time so slowly that it was beyond excruciating. She pressed harder against my hips and her body started to convulse.
- Oh God… - she moaned hoarsely. - Oh my God… Oh, Marc!… Oh, God!!
Every time her body convulsed against mine, there was another flash of pain in my stomach, chest, side, and finally neck. It hurt so bad that soon enough I couldn't see anything. And then everything became really hazy and very distant, like I was floating away. I was thankful for that because it numbed the pain.
The last thing I remember was Megan's face next to mine and her whisper:
- I love you, Marc… I will always love you…