REFLECTIONS OF A DREAM
By Jason Salmon
The only thing my mother wanted more than any other desire was a daughter. Eventually this wish came true but was quickly overturned. My mother was a wonderful person full of joy and knowledge. I remember she would take me to park when I was younger and push me on the swing and occasionally tickle my legs as I swung back to her. God how I wish I could relive those days. The day my baby sister died was the day I saw my mother die inside when her heart shattered into a million pieces and that expression that you just can't wipe away no matter how hard you try. Her name was Eleanor. My mother thought she was the most beautiful baby that she'd ever laid eyes upon. She was only eight months old when SIDS took her from my mother and me. It was too much for my mother, she was taken to a mental institute and I was moved to a foster home. From there everything started to go downhill at an overwhelming rate. I was kept out of school for the safety of my classmates since doctor's didn't know how I would react or when. Very soon I was diagnosed with severe insomnia and was put on medication however I must point out that I did make a new... friend. Though I wouldn't call him a friend at all in fact far from it, he was more like a contender. The sleeping pills that I was put on certainly did their job but the dreams that I had or dream rather was frightfully unpleasant. It started with the contender telling me to walk down a hallway of which I did. At the end of the hallway was a door to a room, the only room in the hallway. I opened the door. It was empty apart from a mirror on the far wall. As I approached it I could hear my mother yelling at me as if I was in trouble however the voice was altered where I knew it was my mother's voice but I couldn't make out the exact words that she was saying. I looked in the mirror and who stared back at me was a distorted reflection of myself that seemed to change shape in sync to the sound of my heavy breathing. Suddenly a blinding white light flashed so fast that I was caught in a moment of confusion after I woke up. It had been ten weeks since the incident. All I wanted to do was see my mother and give her a hug but I was never allowed to. My foster parents were alright I guess I mean they were accepting of me but I didn't really feel that they cared about me much. They had a swing set out in the backyard. I went to sit down on it and what do you know, it breaks. Cheap plastic seats. Had it really been that long since I was a kid? The days felt like they were going on forever, I had no clue as to what my future was to hold. At dinner there was always very little conversation, my foster parents and I kept our distance when it came to getting to know each other. Bedtime finally. Well there was no way that I felt optimistic toward going to sleep again but I kept thinking that maybe it would be different this time. I took my pills, brushed my teeth and got into bed. To my disappointment, I was presented with the same dream. This time it was different. When I looked into the mirror I saw my mother as if she was right in front of me. She was holding Ellie in her arms and she was smiling. I wanted to touch them when I noticed that my mother's eyes were the wrong colour. I asked her why her eyes were that colour but she said nothing. It was dead silent in that room. The hairs on the back of my neck stood up straight. I felt a hand on the back of my shoulder and woke up breathless. It was my foster dad's hand. Never had I been so relieved to see daylight. My foster dad asked me to get some milk from the dairy and I simply nodded. For the whole day, the only thing in my mind was the image of my smiling mother and her baby daughter. I was without a doubt terrified of what was to come that following night. I sat on the couch gazing at the clock, watching each second tick by until it was time. As I went to take my pills I paused, this was the first time in my life that I ever did this... I got down on my knees and I prayed to god, I begged him to save me from my horrendous nightmares and I asked him if he would make things better for me and my mother. I must have shed a tear or two before taking my pills and making my way to my bed. Twenty minutes had passed, I was still awake. Forty minutes later and still nothing. Something was wrong. My whole body felt heavy and I couldn't get up. My bed began shaking subtle at first but gradually into an erratic motion. The walls were literally melting to the point where I couldn't even tell them apart. Repeated flashes of light flicked blinding me each time. What the hell was going on? Suddenly everything went black. What happened next was one of the most welcoming and questionable things that I ever saw. I was at a park, the one that I went to when I was younger. It was filled with families and children having fun and enjoying themselves. I didn't know what to think but all I felt at that moment was relief when I saw my mother over by the swing set smiling and pushing my baby sister on the swing. That was the one time in my life that I felt like my prayers had been answered, I was so happy because my dreams had come true... only I wasn't dreaming.