Just Because it's Legal doesn't mean it's good for you
Ersatz cannabis, known on the streets of Dunedin, New Zealand, as 'legal', is sold quite freely in certain shops, whilst genuine cannabis remains prohibited. You must be eighteen years old to purchase 'legal', but that doesn't stop kiddies from obtaining it through others. It doesn't have the pleasant organic taste of cannabis sativa, nor its meditative effects. It is a deadening kind of stone, and it stinks of chemicals, which is pretty much what it is essentially.
I recently conducted 'cutting edge' research in New Zealand cities analysing the effects and lifestyles of young streetwise Kiwis in an attempt to fully understand the phenomena however misguided that may sound. I was able to purchase 2.5 grams of product for $18 to $20 from the House of Addiction and from an adult entertainment shop called Cupid's, though I dare say Cupid himself would blush if he could see the walls of B&D paraphernalia and pornographic DVDs for sale.
The young people who engage in the consumption of these substances partake in similar rituals as cannabis smokers - 'chopping' is pretty much the same as 'mulling' as far as I could tell and the 'chop' is imbibed through a bong, with associated coughing, spluttering and respiratory damage. I'm not a doctor, or I'd be examining sick bastards instead of writing this, and I could afford to travel to chic and salubrious locales in Europe, rather than to the South Island of New Zealand where my current, serious clinical research is being conducted.
I could have been a doctor, of course, if I hadn't wasted my secondary education showing off in class. Besides, I don't consider inserting a digit into a man's rectum to be valid work. However, I do consider probing a woman's anus with an index finger enormous fun, particularly if she is masturbating in the doggy position. This frees up a hand for drinking or smoking with, whilst watching the television. Multi-skilling is the new black.
But back to the drugs: the young fellas I studied earned their drug purchasing funds by begging on the streets with sophisticated strategies like asking for hypothetical bus fares.
"Can I have a lend of four dollars to get to_____?" Insert town or suburb, preferably beyond walking distance.
Once they have the funds, product is purchased and it's back to some poor bastard's house, which is generally barely liveable and filled with garbage. Cleaning is not a high priority. Nor is cooking, so the main food group consumed by these folk is the 99 cent pack of instant noodles, which only requires a functioning electric jug.
The occupant of the house is presumably somewhere else earning the rent, which sounds unfair, but we can not have feral teen drug abusers freezing on the streets of Dunedin can we? These kids no longer attend school, as they already have all the essential skills for their chosen lifestyles. Although it appears superficially destructive and incredibly inane, they pay no rent, no tax, sleep on strangers' couches, receive no benefits and have better sex lives than I do (if you consider anything to be better than nothing). They share a camaraderie among a network of friends and fellow smokers and are content to play mindless video games around the clock. In fact, despite my four years of tertiary education, I have no income, no friends to speak of, no permanent abode, no sex life, a serious alcohol addiction and I am far too old to beg on the streets for bus fares. It really makes me wonder why I ever bothered doing anything.