Me back then

Ever since the elementary school i knew i didnt fit in, i was always depressed and angry at the world. At the young age of five my own mom called me angry. The kids at school feared me, i have only been to one kids birthday party at my school. And that was my cousin's. But honestly, elementary school was easy, i was too young and naive to understand no one liked me. Middle school is when it actually began. The name calling kicked in, the called me weird, freak, unworthy to live, unwanted, hated, emo, a faggot, disgusting, i could go on for hours about how horrible the things they said to me. They stuck notes in my locker telling me to go die, i quickly stopped using my locker.
Of course i made friends, with a school of over a thousand's student the the odd ball group. or like i would call the misfits. They had kids from the nerd to the cheerleaders. Within this small group i met Molly, she was hyper and she was bullied too. though she was ditsy, and childish she was never one to take bullying to heart. She was my best friend during middle school, the first  three of the four years of hell i was put through.
i under stand alot of kids have it much worse, though i get cyber bullied sometimes i know those kids are the ones that cant say it to my face and aren't worth my time, Yet high school things got to brake my spirits completely.
Even though i am a girl and girls shouldn't get hit by boys, once one of the boy's shoved me agent the lockers, Not even a gentle one, they nudged me hard enough that my books would go every where. i lost my ipod that day. My mum bought me that since my anger was getting better and music was my way to escape. She was livid since we dont have all that money, and we we're working on our home since it got flooded. I found my ipod a few weeks later in my mail box destroyed. I cried myself to sleep that night. Bitterness was the only thing i felt for months. I hate my school.
This was the first three months of freshmen year too. Over the many events that have happened during that, i grew depressed, and i lacked the motivation to even get dressed for school. I didn't acknowledge how i dressed, i lost interest in everything. I then became "scum" and "whores are scum". This one girl -Amanda- i was walking down to get breakfast at dunken doughnuts, she fallowed me,  She then beat me up, I think if i fought back i could have won, but she had the element of surprise and i hate violence, even as i was on the ground with a cut up face and badly bleeding nose, she spit on me and told me "you ain't nothing in this world you shouldnt even be alive now should ya?" i wanted so badly to say something about he bad English but i kept my mouth shut. Thats probably another reason why i was so pathetic i never opened my mouth, i never fought, i never asked for help. I skipped class to cry in the bathroom, and sometimes missed out on school. for four whole years my mum didn't know. She still doesn't know everything. i had an excuse for everything, since i was clumsy i could get it all by too.
But then one fateful day i was put on this odd medicine. it was to help with my depression, i dont remember what it was called. but it did help, but everything felt fake. as the dosage increased, so did my plan. i had stopped taking them and only acted like i was taking my meds. I kept them in a little cup in my room and one night i tried to over dose. It obviously didnt work. but when i woke up the next day i was in a hospital. And i thought "why in gods name would i do   such a retarded thing?"
then after a few days in the hospital, they put me in a mental hospital where i did meet people i am friends with and some i even go to school with. the said when they get out of the hospital they'll help me out. and they did. over time i got better, i got back on anti-depressants and now i'm happy. i talked to my school principle and they took immediate action, they have kept a close eye on me, they have suspended and expelled a few people. and i am not quite completely better but i am good enough to say i will survive, And i am okay now. i am okay for now that is.