Well December is finally here, and this time last year I had a massive crush on josh newman , ahah funny to think how things have changed massively in just a year.. maybe giving time is a good thing? Well 2012 is the most dramatic year so far.. im not gonna lie there has been so many ups and downs in just a year, I made many new friends, fell in love, got into arguments, learnt to let go and learnt many things, did many things. But most of all I grew up, even though my parents didn't see it, but im making mistakes and im learning, I don't even know hwy im writing this, its just bordom and me just being depressed over a guy.. but oh well im a sad little girl like that, I don't even know where to begin? 2012, omg 2012 how much I love you and I'll miss you but who knows what 2013 has for me? There will be many ups and downs, yes.. life's about experiencing things and falling in love & looking back at times and thinking what the hell was I thinking? Haha yeah ive had that plenty of times, like when I was in year 7 I had such a bad taste in hair and fashion, but when I look at my self now, damn am I hot ;)?
As im sitting on my fav swirly chair just waiting for something exciting to happen I decide to write this but im bored so don't blame me, yeah as I was saying, funny to think how things have changed, when I use to live in Bahrain I was such an innocent girl but now look at me, ive done things that I would never dare to do.. but hey its life! Do things because you only live once and its great to expreicne things! Don't be such a chicken to go sky diving when you have an oppertuninty because man will you enjoy it and say fuck yes I just went sky diving! Haha yeah, anyways moving onto boy issues. Now any girl who reads this will understand the heartbreak you pricky boys give us! Fuck you! You boys don't understand how we over think and are when it comes to you, we care a lot, then when we see you flirt with some other girl our heart drops and when we're trying to move on, your face shows up or you walk past or we here your name then a ton of memories hit us and we go back to hearttbreak again. So thanks.. J well me, ive fell in love loads of times, ive been heartbroken and cried, if you think your alone, think again because theres many other girls in this world that are thinking about their lovers. Ive always been terrible with boys, as I over think way too much, I need to learn to stop being needy because that's how I broke up with my ex which I miss like crazy! Ive learn some boys like space and everytime I think to myself 'please come to me?' I remember the quote I got told 'if you love someone set them free, if they return they where always yours, if they don't, they never where yours to begin with' that's what ive done to sam (my lover/ex). Let me shorten my love life with him, well I met him at summer camp & I was still obsessed with my ex (lewis) but when I saw sam I fell for him suddenly, he got told I fancied him and we got so much closer, we'd talk and flirt all the time, from then we had a 'thing' for like 3 months and we went out for 2 weeks and it ended badly. Yeah funny how we had a thing more longer than our relationship, but when we had a thing we also had arguments, there was times that I thought omg hes gonna leave me, and I simply let him go and he came back round. Our love is quite strong as ive realised. Even now at school, even though were not together anymore we both have our glares and sneaky sexy looks. I really miss him, and the whole breakup was my fault, and im hoping he comes back round even though the breakup was less than a week ago, im giving him time, he seems very happy with his mates atm, and Im happy for him. But when he flirts I get angry and upset, im guessing every girl is like that, but its not like I don't, everytime I flirt with boys its makes me feel good haha. But no matter how much I flirt I still have my ex in the back of my mind.
Anyways enough with the boys stuff , if I keep on talking about him it makes me more upset, im like obsessed. I listen to depressing songs and it reminds me of him, I write about him in my diary……..Omg stop talking about him!
As I was saying, my life is going good so far except for boy issuses but that's life, when I face a problem or an issue or if im having a rough time, I always tell myself 'everything will be okay in the end, if its not okay, its not the end' ive told myself that many times in life and it truly works no matter how long your problem is. It will work trust me.
Im giving Sam some time, because hes a guy, even though I miss him loads, its just that weve done so much in the past it keeps racing back! Right now we don't talk as much at school its just 'hey , you alright' like once or twice a week if im lucky. His Friends say I should give it time before he realises what hes missing, but I will do that because you need to fight for what you want right? And I want him L I'll keep you guys updates asap! xoxo