Today I struggle with my demons, they are all around I feel drained I feel tired it is a struggle to even bother
to get out of this bed, the mental will it takes to push myself to get up is mind numbling painful I feel angry I feel
rage I feel sad I feel like someone has just died this is how I feel, and then as I look down there in front of me is a
picture of my daughter smiling back at me I shiver with the pain that is inside of me, and yet there is this
flicker of hope a small ember that keeps me alive like oxygen is to the flame my children are to me they
keep me alive they keep me from doing the unspeakable things I could do to myself if I were alone.
Hope is my only friend I live in hope of tomorrow being a better day that is all I can do every minute
of everyday can feel like a lifetime I thankgod for my children and yet I feel cursed at the same time,
I feel blessed and I feel doomed I feel pushed down I feel invisible I am alive yet I feel dead.
I acknowledge my depression I know it is part of my make-up part of the way I am but it doesn't make it any
easier to live with, it robs you of your freedom your spark you lifeforce, you cease to be a person and become
an object of ridicule for those that do not understand how it feels I would ask for compassion and try to
understand one thing we or that is I do not want to feel this way i just do.