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This is written for anyone who suffers with depression be it now or later on in life, it is treatable through either medication or you could take another approach and talk about it or writing, exercise or enaging your mind so you are occupied try to find something you enjoy doing, to look at this if you are in the middle of depression it can be a vicious circle you want to help yourself but you do not have the motivation to do so you may even resent what it is I am writing now thinking what does she know about anything I can only speak from my own experiences for me if felt like and still does at times like I am in a dark place no one can find me understand how I am feeling I am screaming inside silently knots in my stomach anxiety panic attacks you do eventually come out of it but it leaves you exhausted and drained of energy I take each day at time my depression has lessened in the last couple of years but I am honest with people and if it comes up in conversation I do talk about it and you will find it is more common than you realize it is nothing to be ashamed of it is part of who you are and the sooner you accept and deal with it the better.

I Suffer with my demons they come when you least expect it and take you prisoner in a way you can not explain they rob you of your freedom to do what it is you want to do my only
salvation they keeps me sane is my chidren who without them I am sure I wouldn't be here now I suppose the bottom line is you need to find a purpose big or small.

Submitted:Jan 25, 2010    Reads: 100    Comments: 0    Likes: 0   


Today I struggle with my demons, they are all around I feel drained I feel tired it is a struggle to even bother

to get out of this bed, the mental will it takes to push myself to get up is mind numbling painful I feel angry I feel

rage I feel sad I feel like someone has just died this is how I feel, and then as I look down there in front of me is a

picture of my daughter smiling back at me I shiver with the pain that is inside of me, and yet there is this

flicker of hope a small ember that keeps me alive like oxygen is to the flame my children are to me they

keep me alive they keep me from doing the unspeakable things I could do to myself if I were alone.

Hope is my only friend I live in hope of tomorrow being a better day that is all I can do every minute

of everyday can feel like a lifetime I thankgod for my children and yet I feel cursed at the same time,

I feel blessed and I feel doomed I feel pushed down I feel invisible I am alive yet I feel dead.

I acknowledge my depression I know it is part of my make-up part of the way I am but it doesn't make it any

easier to live with, it robs you of your freedom your spark you lifeforce, you cease to be a person and become

an object of ridicule for those that do not understand how it feels I would ask for compassion and try to

understand one thing we or that is I do not want to feel this way i just do.


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