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here goes......
this is gonna be filled in like a diary, as i went through, day by day, my thoughts, my control, my nature, my progress, my destruction, my mind frame. enjoy ....

Submitted:Jul 10, 2012    Reads: 14    Comments: 1    Likes: 0   

Day 1 weight; 7.9 stone.

I'm sitting on my bedroom floor, crouched in the corner, trying to release my hair from my hands desperate grasp in an attempt to rip it out. i stare intensly back at myself in the mirror, my eyes bright green through the tears, but slightly swollen and red from crying, in angst, desperation, and self-hate. That's it. I will take no more. Tomorrow. Tomorrow it all changes. I will make myself thin. i will do it. I will not give in.

I will be perfect.

Day 2 Weight; " " stone.

Walking to school, faster than usual in an attempt to burn more calories. swinging my arms a little too much, and walking with a slight bounce in my step, like someone who was happy. But i am far from it. I am determind. I will lose weight.

Glancing over at the local shop, where schoolmates go in and buy their snacks, sweets, fattening foods, i almost cringe....It's disgusting...i dont understand how they can eat..now i find it repulsive.

A part of me inside longs to walk in and buy something, anything to eat, but my other half refuses to let me stray from my path. I'm not going to give in that easily, and have another breakdown when i look in the mirror..


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