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The Complete Unabridged Declassified Private Journal of Sir Bradley McAwesome Wilson Esquire

Book By: ThepureLight7
True confessions



Delve into the mind of me, Bradley Wilson, as I confess to you, the willing reader, all of the secrets of my personal life.

... No, I don't expect you to give a shit. Read it anyway.


Submitted:Feb 9, 2010    Reads: 94    Comments: 2    Likes: 0   


February 10, 2010

Day 2

I congratulate you for reading this far, what with the average attention span in human beings probably being smaller than that of a housecat. If you've gotten here, to this page which I have written only4 days beforeValentine'sDay,then that means that you are about to have the almost imponderable joy of reading about my love life. And yes, I did semi-steal that line from Charlieissocoollike. DFTBA.

At this moment, my heart currently belongs to a girl by the name of Funny-Awesome McBeautiful (Some names might have been changed to protect the innocent), who I have loved since the beginning of High School.

And before you purists start ranting off about how "You're a teenager!You can't 'Love'!It's impossible!SYSTEMMELTDOWN!!!SYSTEMMELTDOWN!!!REDALERT!!!" I would like to inform you that I'm not saying that I know anything about love. I can, however, truthfully state that I know more about love than the average teenager, who is unable to go two months without cheating on someone.

Which brings me to my first problem. This, the cheating thing, has happened to Funny-Awesome McBeautiful (Who I have decided to refer to as 'M' from now on... You know... Because McBeautiful starts with M... Not because that's her real first initial. That would be preposterous) several times. Also, she moves. Alot. Her dad, I believe, is in the military. She actually just moved here, to the magical land of Ohio about 8 months ago. She started off by going to my school, and we were like, best friends,but then transferred to Beavercreek High, because she needed a larger school.

These two things combined (Break-ups and moving)have led to a serious case of Summer Personality Disorder.Have you ever seen '(500)Day of Summer'?If not, go watch it. It's an awesome movie. If you have, then you might understand what I'm talking about a little here. She absolutely does not want a boyfriend.

I have actually asked her out before. It was in early November.You know what happens to a plane that loses in a dogfight, right?It loses control, gets shot down, crashes, and burns. Then the enemy plane lands, the pilot gets out, pats the burning wreckage that is the first plane saying "We can still be friends,"and then the losing plane goes back to the hangar to lay down for about 45 minutes. It then gets up and plays a song about masturbation on Guitar Hero.

I'm actually currently talking to her, right now, on Myspace, as I type. We're discussing how excited she must be for her mini-vacation to her old home tomorrow to meet her old friends over Valentine's Day. That's right.She's going to be gone for Valentine's Day. And I had something to invite her to as well.

I just quoted '(500) Days of Summer' and she lol'd. I feel accomplished.

However, lately a lot has happened. Especially revolving around CompleteSchizo HalfFriendHalfDouchebag (Who I will refer to as 'C' from now on...You know, for Complete), my friend who decided to "confess his love" for M to me, despite knowing that I love her, and despite the fact that he JUST broke up with his previous girlfriend, whom he also "Loved."

And the part that pisses me off is that he rubs it in my face. He feels it's some sort of sick competition between me and him. EVERYTHING between me and him is turned into a competition. That's just how his mind works.

I have had several theories about me and M's relationship over the past 7 months. Here are some bulletpoints (In no particular order)explaining some of these theories... What?Ihave a hard-on for bulletpoints.

  • She kinda likes me, just not as much as I like her and she knows it. Her liking me is outweighed by the fact that she absolutely does not want a boyfriend. Who gives a shit about C?
  • Ilove her. She likes C more than me. He doesn't like her anywhere near as much as I do. Ihate him. Go die in a hole.
  • I hate her. I hate him. I hate myself. I hate everything. ARGH!!!
  • I like her, she has no clue. She kinda likes me.
  • I love her. I love him. I love myself. I love everything.AHHHH!!!
  • She loves him. I love her. He pretends to love her to make me jealous, because in reality he is a closet bisexual and loves me.

... Okay, that last one's a little far-fetched. But it could happen!

Whatever, until the next post, I'm just going to sit here and listen to Boys Like Girls. I have a theory that at least one of the members of Boys Like Girls is gay, otherwise they would have no reason to name themselves that. I believe that it's the bassist.

Seriously though. Boys Like Girls?It's like if a band came around called Heterosexual Rock... You'd have to suspect something!

Whatever, until next time, this has been Bradley Wilson.





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