How Do I picture my self..?

I can see myself standing near and tall, even if its not what every body seem to picture me.. I am yes! a shy girl that just needed to be push to her limits.. But sometimes I fall down ward yah! I do but I always slept myself up.. Even if you ignored me!But I always finds away, even you think of as annoying fool! but I just joking around and you known that as well,sometimes I am very lazy, but that way I have soo ! many help, and so many friends and my family always be there with me I just needed you to pull into my world!! more, and love me , we might make something special ! or maybe something that someone that can understand .MY LIFE is above the rest! but that's is not totally!! TRUE I am down to the earth.. And yah I have do many sinsfull things, but come on give me one more chance I can say "That you laugh at me! and you teased me ! but you won't break my heart,because it now more stronger then you think it is!".Life is a simple thing but it not! some people got it wrong when they are first bored I enough mylife story was going to end ....But I jus noticed it jus the start of a new chapter! and ech of mine chapters is filled with love , and chances that I missed out!!! And people still!!! think that I am weak because I have this scared in my heart that can't never go away..Even if I change it can't go away from the same pains that I have in the years.. This scared hunts me threw my life and my ending of another story...! I always wonder why GOD didn't .. take my soul ? .. At birth...!? I just wondering around now ! what would I do Now scenes this is only the middle of my story and the ending of another story that well takes place in and out of so many things,!but how ? can I chance my faith... I just confused girl that may or may not under stand you .. But I think sometimes people CAN CHANCE THAT! but ... For me .. I not sure.. If I can chance myself inside and out!? Can we chance our faith even if GOD SAY NO !!!Even .. That the life is, sometime blocking our way to a achievement goals and wonders things that (TO BE EDITED )