To whom it may cancern, hahaha, pretty whitty way to start this projection of my days of quitting and saying so long to a terrible habit. Now, i'm not going to sit here and bitch,whine,complain , or even give you a sermon on why you should quit doing something that you know is bad for you . I'm telling you, it's not difficult to stop ! i learned that just doing something and not thinking too much into something; is half the battle. As of today, January 30 th 2013 has been one month since i've quit and i'm extremely proud of myself for making an effort. I decided that i need to take better care of my health , because there's been way too many health scares in my family and friends lives ,that it would only make sense just to give it up. Not to mention it's bad for you ! it affects every part of your body,organs,heart,blood pressure,glaucoma ,bladder,kidney,lung,mouth,throat...oh the list can go on! heart disease kills more woman each year than breast cancer and to know that i'm doing something to ignite that possibiliy of getting something that my list entails, is pretty fucking stupid if you ask me. If you're thinking of quitting....just try it out, don't think about it. I will tell you the first week was diffucult and i was depressed and i was in mourning . I felt like i've lost a loved on lol or a best friend. Seriously, people i was crying like a little baby ,because i was scared of the unknown. I was suffering from bad headaches, i was dehydrated, i couldn't sleep, and i was eating lots of sugary things in replacement of smoking. Gummy bears were my new best friends :) i loved eating them and plus they're chewy and kept my mouth occupied. I knew after 2 weeks i can no longer eat them as much, because then i have to worry about getting cavities and it's just nothing but sugar with no nutrients what so ever. I replaced my gummy bear habit with fruits and veggies to help detox the many chemicals out of my system. The 2nd week i had went with my friend to the Salton Sea and we stopped at a gas station to buy snacks and i noticed these guys standing outside smoking and i thought ''oh shit ! if i smell it, i'm going to want one, and i'm at a gas station and they sell cigarettes'' wrong ! when i walked right past them, i started gagging and thought grrr the smell is terrible and thought no way mon ! i been through some shit for the past 2 weeks and i'm not turning back, because at this time all of my cravings,headaches,not being able to sleep, and detoxing have started to go away and i started to enjoy the wonderful benefits of giving up something that i thought was my friend. Cigarettes are not your friend ! friends don't cost you lots of money.Friends don't make you have long term health problems, friends don't take your ability to live a long healthy life away ! To be honest i'm embaressed to have been known as a smoker :( i know , i shouldn't,but i do feel this way. I'm ashamed that i put my habit in my family and friends in harm because ,not only is there 2nd hand smoke, but there's 3rd hand smoke. So, for instance you go outside and have a cigarette and you come back in the house or whever and the chemicals remain on your clothes until you wash them...mmm hmm. I don't know what else to say about my experience this month,but i have my days were i want to kill people ,but i found other ways of dealing with that. I started school and i'm taking a weight lifting/body conditioning class 2 times a week for 2 hours and i'm so glad that i quit because i can run much faster and i have a lot more energy and my anxiety has gone away, so if you suffer from anxiety and you think smoking helps you...think again my brother or sister , it doesn't ! that's your bodies way of signaling your low on nicotine and it's freaking out because it won't calm down until you take a hit , hence making you think that cigarettes calm you down. Another factor is not receiving enough oxygen to your blood supply and to your brain making you think that you're panicking like you're in danger. It just feels nice not having any more anxiety attacks and feeling healthy is probably the best feelings ever. I also had to stop drinking alcohol for other purposes ,but that's another story ...with everything i had to take it 1 minute, 1 hour,and, 1 day at a time and learn new ways of thinking about what i want out this and that's to be healthy for myself. Addiction runs in my family and definitely had to make a conscious choice about what's going to happen to me if i don't do something about it NOW, until it's too late and ain't nobody got time for that ! there's a lot of things i want to experience and if i don't have my health then i don't have nothing.
Thank you for taking the time to read my journal entry , i hope that it will inspire someone or help somebody who's quitting something or just know that you can do anything you put your mind to. Sometimes I wish i had Darth Vader's force skills, gosh !