My scrawny 8 year old chicken legs carry me down the squeaky stairs, into my mothers bedroom. My younger 6 year old sister and I are in a race on who can tell on who faster when we come to a complete stop. A little to late we realize my mother isnt alone.
That is when I met the man that will complicate our little family for seven years. His name is Louis Juilian he is my youngest brother Louie's father and the man my mother decided to choose over us. I guess I can't really blame her, if you look at the big picture and not the little things. She didn't want to be alone, he made her feel worthless and like she could not have anyone better.
I didn't like him from day one, a few months later my mom packed our things and moved us to his house surrounded by his family. My first memory of living there is when a group of cops had to come and had to break up a little get together he and my mom had. I was Nine years old, my mom had her younger 19 sister to come babysit my sister Sydney and my other brother Andrew downstairs in my bedroom while they through a party up stairs. Around 2 am the party started to go south. My auntie and I were quietly watching tv while the other two were fast asleep. My mom and Louie started to scream at each other I barely heard it because they fight and yell everytime they drink so I had to go through this basicly every night.
No what really caught my attention was when everyone started to run down the stairs and slamed open the front door and scattered out. I slowly opened my bedroom door and peeked out, Louie was sitting on the stairs in the dark tighening his shoe laces. He looks up and caught me staring at him, he whispers "Don't worry Tiyanna I wont hurt her." And then he picks up his shot gun and walked out the door after them. My auntie told me to call the police, so i ran up the stairs in search for the phone, but it was smashed to pieces on thee floor. I could hear yelling out side and a gun shot here and there. I went running down the stairs on the verge of tears I didn't know what to do. Rose picked up my brother Andrew he's about 2 and we woke Sydney.
We ran out the house going house to house banging on the doors screaming for them to let us in so we can use the phone. We went to about four houses and nobody answered.. We are walking barefoot through grass when a man in all black grabs me he gives me a sweet smile as if to say "its okay I'll save you" I look over his shoulder and see a group of them. They are wearing a bullet proof vest, pepper spray and guns strapped on a waist belt. I saw writing on their vest I like to believe it said S.W.A.T but I honestly don't know it could have said police, cops, their names. It all happened so fast the sun was up and I was sitting in the back of a police car waiting for them to come back with my mom and Louie.
When they did my mom started to go off on a cop, her hair was in snares and her face was covered in dirt and you could tell she was still under the influence. She took threatening steps towards the so the cop twisted her arm and through her on the ground. Louie was sent to jail for about three month we stayed at his house because my mom didn't want to take us out of school. When he got out of jail, big surprise she and him were back together. To a lot of you even to a part of me I thought she was stupid at that age I hated her.
5 years later we faught over the same things. Him. A hundred more drunken fights between her and Louie, moving back and forth. I ask her why does she stay, why aren't my siblings and I a good enough reason to leave him. She is in denial. He had her under his spell, he was in her mind. Controlling her and I was so angry at her. How could she be so weak, how could she just let him use her. Put us through that, listen to their fighting. When it got really rough and my siblings were there they would sneak into my bedroom, or when it was just me I would say something.
One time I went up stairs because my little brother Louie was sleeping on the couch while they were fighting over him. I didn't think he should have to listen to that while hes asleep so I walked pasted them and tried to grab little Louie. Louie Sr started yelling at me to leave him alone, I snapped so I yelled back. I don't really know what I said but I remember my mom joining him and he started to charge at me. To them it looked like I was standing my grounded since I didnt move a muscle when really I was just like a deer in headlights. I didn't get my baby brother in the end.
In April my mom finally got enough courage to leave him. Not because of what he has done to her, but because he cheated on her. I guess she has her bounderys. I sometimes wonder what kind of relationship her and I would have if he never came into our lifes, wonder if we would be as intuned with each other. I was more of her friend or theripist who she would go to to talk about her and Louies problems, but when I didnt say what she wanted to hear she and I would get into arguments. My mom is my mom, I love her to pieces, I understand her maybe even more than she understands herself but I wish I didnt. I wish that I could just be angry with her and oblivious to her side and just focus on mine but I can't..